Sunday Funnies 2013.08.11

Today is my wife's birthday. Every year I struggle with what to get her for a birthday present. This year I thought I had it all figured out.

For his most recent birthday I gave my son an iPhone. I gave my daughter an iPod for hers. For my birthday I got an iPad.

Thinking along the same lines, I got my wife an iRon.

Bad idea...

It’s a terrible thing to grow old alone. My wife hasn’t had a birthday for the last six years.

Actually, that's not true. She's not vain or concerned about her age, but does get a mite upset if I forget her birthday. I've found through hard experience that the most effective way to remember it is to forget it just once.

In fact, I always remembers her birthday. It’s the day after she reminds me of it.

But I recovered nicely. ‘Sweetheart,’ I said, ‘How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?’

I was talking to my buddy at the bar, and said, “I don’t have a clue what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.”

My buddy said, “I have an idea – why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it – she’ll probably be thrilled.”

So that’s what I did. She loved it.

She jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling “I’ll be back in an hour!”