Thursday, August 8, 2013

It's A Small World After All

Apologies if the title of this post got that damn song echoing through your head. I know it's bouncing around in mine. The only known antidote is immediate applications of Shiners.

Anyway...

I'm up at our place on Lake Buchanan to take care of a few maintenance issues. The wife and kids have other obligations, so I'm here on my own. Damn the luck.

Anyway...

It was extremely hot today. We're in the middle of a record setting heat wave, compounded by a wave of dust from Africa. So it was necessary to take measures to prevent dehydration. In my case, that meant visiting a new medical facility first aid station roadhouse named Reverend Jim's Dam Pub & Beer Garden. Great name, good bar, lousy web site.

Anyway...

Reverend Jim's is a remake of the original Dam Pub, which has had several reincarnations over the years. It's a wonderful location overlooking Buchanan Dam. The good Reverend has remade the original stuffy smokey bar into a venue that offers live music, food, and of course an assortment of adult beverages. He's eschewed air conditioning in favor of a wide open approach, which works okay, even in the hot summer (plenty of fans and shade).

While I was there (rehydrating, remember, according to all the first aid manuals) I overheard a woman on my left say her sister lives in Boerne, which is only about 15 miles from where I live. Then I heard a woman on my right say something about her son, who was stationed at Ft. Hood (where I spent a couple of years back in the Viet Nam days) and her mother, who was suffering from Alzheimer's (my mom died from that vicious nasty disease). This is where that 'small world' thing comes into play. So the only polite and reasonable thing to do was to engage both of them in conversation.

Now let me make one thing perfectly clear. I love my wife with all my heart. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize our relationship. So as far as I was concerned, this was just idle chit-chat between barstool neighbors. Evidently the ladies had a different take on things.

The two women on either side of me scooted their bar stools closer. The conversations became more intense. I was forced to swivel my head rapidly back and forth in an attempt to pay equal attention to them. That didn't seem to satisfy either one, as they soon began to eliminate the middle man (me) and addressed each other directly.

Let me stress that I am not God's gift to women. But that didn't seem to matter to these two. They were either drunk, or desperate, or both. However, that didn't prevent them from first arguing, then yelling, then pushing and shoving -- over ME!!!. Talk about an ego trip!

Anyway...

The bartender was a lady of keen insight and discerning judgement. She kicked the two over-enthusiastic wenches out and got me a beer on the house.

As soon as my head shrank back to something approaching its normal size I got out of there and headed for home.

With a great big grin on my face and a hugely over-inflated ego...

6 comments:

Toejam said...

Ya blew your chance at a Ménage à Trois CTT.

CenTexTim said...

Wasn't gonna happen, Toejam. One of them was built like a linebacker, and the other had thinning hair and a missing front tooth. Both of them were older than me ... closer to your age :-) ... and smoked like chimneys. There's not enough beer and paper bags in the world to get me to take one of them home - much less both of them.

Old NFO said...

Heh, now make em 30 years younger... :-)

JT said...

Dam cougars.

CenTexTim said...

Sick ... you're all sick...

Toejam said...

Paper bags???

Sounds like a "double coyote" pair to me.