All Hands On Deck

There's a few Navy types who wander by here once in a while. This should be of interest to them.

Brad and Barry Klinge are brothers who were featured in Ghost Lab, a Discovery Channel series whose stated mission is to "visit the most haunted places in America, find evidence, and test new theories to probe the existence of the afterlife" using a fringe-scientific approach.

Join Brad and Barry Klinge, founders of Everyday Paranormal, as they travel the country using some of the world's most sophisticated equipment to gather powerful supernatural research.

I'm not a big believer in paranormal investigation (ghosts? little green men? really?) but there are plenty of people out there who are. If you're one of them, or even if you're not but have an interest in naval history, Brad and Barry have a deal for you.

Friday, February 8th, 2013, from 7pm - Midnight: Investigate the USS Lexington with the Klinge Brothers

Get lost on the massive aircraft carrier that the Japanese could not sink. Many sailors lost their lives from torpedo and kamikaze attacks, but "The Blue Ghost" kept fighting.  Now, the history of World War II lives in the steel walls and wandering passageways of this naval monster now at rest in Corpus Christi Bay.  From the flight decks to the boiler rooms, you will have full access for the night in your search for spirits that haunt this ship.

Why was she called the Blue Ghost? Here's a brief history:

Commissioned in 1943, she set more records than any other Essex Class carrier in the history of naval aviation.The ship was the oldest working carrier in the United States Navy when decommissioned in 1991. An Essex-class carrier, LEXINGTON was originally named the USS CABOT. During World War II, final construction was being completed at Massachusetts’ Fore River Shipyard when word was received that the original carrier named USS LEXINGTON, CV-2, had been sunk in the Coral Sea. The new carrier’s name was changed to LEXINGTON.

After training maneuvers and a shakedown cruise, LEXINGTON joined the Fifth Fleet at Pearl Harbor ... During World War II, the carrier participated in nearly every major operation in the Pacific Theater and spent a total of 21 months in combat. Her planes destroyed 372 enemy aircraft in the air, and 475 more on the ground. She sank or destroyed 300,000 tons of enemy cargo and damaged an additional 600,000 tons. The ship’s guns shot down 15 planes and assisted in downing five more.

The Japanese reported LEXINGTON sunk no less than four times! Yet, each time she returned to fight again, leading the propagandist Tokyo Rose to nickname her “The Blue Ghost.” The name is a tribute to the ship and the crew and air groups that served aboard her.

If there are spirits aboard the ship representative of the men who crewed her, it would be an honor to meet them.

After the war, LEXINGTON was briefly decommissioned (1947-1955). When reactivated, she operated primarily with the Seventh Fleet out of San Diego, California. Although not involved in actual combat, LEXINGTON kept an offshore vigil during tensions in Formosa, Laos, and Cuba.

In 1962, she sailed into Pensacola, Florida, and began training operations, eventually being officially designated CVT-16, Navy Training Carrier.

LEXINGTON was decommissioned in 1991, and in 1992 became a floating museum in Corpus Christi, Texas. So after you get done chasing ghosts all over the ship, you can relax on the beach and soak up some Texas sun and a few Texas Shiners.

Enjoy enough sun and Shiners and I guarantee you'll see things that aren't there...

Sunday Funnies 2013.01.13

The big news around here this week was the skunking of our dogs. By now it's reached the point where we can laugh about it - almost...

Q: What do you get when you cross a robot and a skunk?
A: R-2 P-U!

Q: Which rapper do skunks like?
A: 50 Scent!

Q: Why didn't the skunk call his parents?
A: Because his phone was out of odor!

 * * * * *

A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar.

It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."

The man says, "One more for me... and one more for my skunk."

The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.

The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."

The man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a skunk."

 * * * * *

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a skunk sitting next to him.

"Are you a skunk?" asked the man, surprised.

"Yes."

"What are you doing watching the movie?"

The skunk replied, "Well, I liked the book."

 * * * * *

One day in the woods, three animals were discussing who was the most powerful animal in the woods.

"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly on my prey."

"That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."

The skunk said "I've got you both beat. I am the most powerful because with a flick of my tail I can drive off the two of you."

Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all ... hawk, lion, and stinker.

Damn Dogs Wrap-Up

As previously reported, our ignorant mutts beloved pets tangled with a skunk the other night, with predictable results. Let me set the stage. You may want to grab the beverage of your choice, because this is a somewhat long story.

The past couple of weeks have been unseasonably cold and drizzly down here. So my wife and I were thrilled when Thursday dawned sunny and warm (high near 70). We were especially excited because we had a once in a lifetime opportunity that day to play golf on an über-exclusive private course.

I'm not much of a golfer. My idea of a good time on the golf course is to cruise around in one of those little carts and have beer delivered to me by a cutie driving the beverage cart. But a friend of my wife is a very good golfer. In fact, she won a local tournament a few months ago, and one of the prizes was a free round of golf at Boot Ranch. She invited us to join her and her husband. After coordinating everyone's schedule, Thursday was the day that worked best. So off we went.

FYI - Boot Ranch was designed to be "a golf destination appealing primarily to a high-income mix of retired businessmen and corporate leaders yearning for an exclusive getaway." Membership initiation fees started somewhere around $200K, with monthly dues pegged at $1000. It's way out of our league, which is why we were so eager for the experience. And boy howdy, we weren't disappointed.

The clubhouse cost $30 million to build.. Opulent, luxurious, sumptuous ... pick an adjective. We were given guest lockers near one belonging to George H. W. Bush. The staff was gracious and welcoming, making us feel like we belonged instead of the poor country mice we are. One of the best things about the place is that the membership is capped, so that there were very few other players on the course. In fact, we saw only one other foursome all day - and one of the people in it was Ed "Too Tall" Jones.

The course is just outside the small Central Texas town of Fredericksburg, about an hour's drive from our place. As you might expect from the name, it was originally settled by Germans, so many of the eateries feature sausage and beer. After a thoroughly enjoyable round of golf we headed to the Fredericksburg Brewing Company for dinner. I loaded up on Knackwurst,Bratwurst and Pepperwurst, washed down with plenty of Hauptstrasse Helles, a delicious Munich lager style brew (my wife was the designated driver - poor gal).

What with the leisurely round of golf and the even more leisurely dinner, it was about 8:30 in the evening when we finally returned home. To say our two dogs were excited to see us would be an understatement. Of course, they're excited by just about anything. We let them in the house and they're so excited they dash madly around, wagging their tails so hard that lamps and people's knees are in danger. Thirty seconds later, if we open the door and say "Out" they charge madly outside and sniff every tree and bush within reach. They have way too much enthusiasm, and not nearly enough common sense.

Which brings us to the skunk.

After we got home Thursday evening and reunited with the mutts, we cleaned up and got ready for bed. The usual routine is that we let them out sometime in the middle of the news so that they can take care of any unfinished outdoor business. We let them back in when the news is over. Then we head for bed. So during the weather I opened the door and they barreled outside. Fifteen minutes later I opened the door and they barreled back in.

Only something was wrong - very, very wrong.

The smell hit me as soon as they dashed past me and started doing their usual laps around the place. By the time I collected my wits and realized what had happened, they had managed to visit every room downstairs. I hustled them back out while my wife stared at me in horror. The odor was overwhelming.

Leaving them outside wasn't really an option, since at least one skunk was still lurking in the area. So we changed into old, disposable clothes, grabbed the bottle of skunk shampoo we keep handy (remember what I said about their lack of common sense - they've been skunked before, but haven't learned anything from the experience), and went outside.

Ever try to bathe two hyper dogs in the dark with really, really cold water (we get our water from a well) while they just reek of skunk? I don't recommend it.

We finally got them somewhat tolerable, put them in the garage (no way they were getting back in the house) and went back inside. The skunk odor was pretty strong, but at that point we were too tired and pissed to care. The dogs never made it to our bedroom so we closed the door and went to sleep. The kids were on their own.

The next morning I used up two bottle of Febreze, sprinkled baking soda all over the carpets, and made a WalMart run to pick up half a dozen air fresheners. Fortunately the weather was still nice so I opened up all the windows and turned on all the ceiling fans. Then I gave the mutts another bath (two, actually, one with skunk shampoo followed by one with oatmeal shampoo), and finished it off by dousing them with a skunk odor neutralizer.

That was Friday. As I type this it is Saturday night, and things are almost back to normal. I'll fry some bacon, onions, and garlic to go with the pasta tonight. That should eliminate any lingering odor.

Well, that and a couple of bottles of wine.

Like I said, the dummies just don't learn. But we do. The first time this happened we doused them in tomato juice. That worked okay, but not great. The next time we used a combination of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dishwashing soap. That worked well, but the problem is keeping the ingredients on hand, and then mixing them when needed.

This time we used a shampoo recommended by our vet that is specially designed for skunk spray. It's called Skunk-Off, and it works quite well. I followed that up with an application of Thiotrol, which also did a good job.

Now if we could just figure out a way to keep them from getting sprayed in the first place...

Is This Where We're Headed?

Leftists who want to restrict our rights to keep and bear arms often cite Canada and England as countries that have 'civilized' gun control laws. Here's a couple of examples of what we have to look forward to if those loons ever get their way and we become 'civilized' as well.

First, from the Britain formerly known as Great: (H/T BMEWS)

A farmer accused of attempted murder after catching an intruder red-handed spoke of his outrage last night after the thief walked free with a £100 fine.

Unemployed criminal David Taylor was captured when Bill Edwards confronted him on his isolated woodland property.

Mr Edwards, 21, fired his shotgun at a van driven by Taylor as the thief accelerated towards his mother, Louisa Smith, 50.

Got that? This thug was caught red-handed stealing someone's property, then tried to run down the landowner and his mother. The farmer used a shotgun (legally owned and carried) to protect them. The assailant gets off with a small fine, while the victims are charged with major felonies.

Taylor was caught after a high-speed chase but it was the farmer who endured a horrendous ordeal at the hands of police who arrested him on suspicion of attempted murder.

Last night Mr Edwards labelled the experience ‘four months of hell’ and attacked the ‘pathetic’ punishment handed out to the intruder.

‘We have had four months of being treated like criminals only to see the real criminal let off with a measly fine which will be paid for by the taxpayer since he is on state benefits.’

Mr Edwards and his mother feared for their lives during the confrontation on their land on the outskirts of Scarborough, North Yorkshire, last August ... They caught Taylor and an accomplice loading stolen metal cables into the back of his Ford Transit after spotting that outbuildings had been tampered with. The thieves jumped into the van and drove it towards the pair as they desperately dialled 999 for help.

Mr Edwards fired his shotgun, which was loaded with lightweight rabbit shot, several times, hitting the van’s windscreen and bodywork. No one was hurt.

Would have been a different story if he carried an EBR (Evil Black Rifle). There's be one less criminal running free today.

Police eventually caught Taylor when Mr Edwards gave chase and gave a running commentary on his mobile phone. But the crook was only charged with metal theft.

Meanwhile Mr Edwards and his mother were arrested, held overnight in cells and left on bail for four months. Mrs Smith was arrested on suspicion of possessing a firearm with intent.

His mother?!? All she did was try to get out of the way. Sounds like the cops had a hard-on for the victims instead of the criminal.

But even now the farmer has not had his shotgun and other weapons returned to him which he uses to control pests on his land and as a hobby...

Taylor left court grinning and sneered ‘lucky you’ at Mr Edwards after finding out the attempted murder allegation had been dropped.

Moments earlier his solicitor Ian Brickman said the thief ‘is in many ways the victim in this’ and was left so ‘traumatised’ he cannot work.

The thief is the victim?!? Too traumatised to work? He was already drawing unemployment benefits before the incident. His lawyer is just as big a scumbag as the thug.

Meanwhile, on this side of the Atlantic, our neighbor to the north is just as foolish.

Canadian Man Who Defended Himself Against Firebomb Attack Is Acquitted

An Ontario man who says he has been cleared of charges stemming from an attack on his home says he is proud of the precedent the case sets with regards to Canadians’ right to armed self defence.

Ian Thomson says a judge in Welland acquitted him on Thursday of firearms-related charges in connection from a 2010 incident in which he fired three warning shots at a group of men who set his Ontario home ablaze with firebombs.

First of all, why the hell was he firing warning shots? Someone ties to burn down my home, I'm aiming center mass, not at the ground or into the air.

Second, while I've got nothing against the .38 (I carry a little 5-shot short-barreled .38 revolver at times) my home defense pistol is something with a little more punch. My backup weapon at home is a Mossberg 500 pistol grip 12 gauge pump.

Anyway, back to the story.

In August 2010, 54-year-old Thomson was sleeping in his Port Colborne, Ont., home when he awoke to the sound of Molotov cocktails exploding. Looking outside he saw part of his house and his porch ablaze, and four masked men outside. A former firearms instructor, he quickly unlocked his gun safe, loaded a .38 calibre revolver and stepped outside.

Thomson fired three warning shots, which caused the men to flee, before dousing the flames with a garden hose and calling 911.

When police arrived he was taken into custody, and his collection of firearms – assorted handguns worth over $10,000 – and ammunition were seized and impounded.

Soon thereafter, Crown attorneys charged Thomson with careless use of a firearm. These charges were later dropped, and he was charged with two counts of unsafe storage.

Unsafe storage of a firearm? Seems like the government was just looking for an excise -- any excuse -- to charge the guy and confiscate his weapons.

Crown prosecutors argued Thomson had fallen afoul of safe storage regulations because, on the night of the incident, Thomson had a box of .38 Special ammunition in his bedside table. The judge ruled this was irrelevant, Burlew said, since Thomson’s guns were all securely locked away in a gun safe.

The four men who attacked Thomson were all sentenced to between two and four years incarceration.

Unless the Crown decides to appeal the case, Thomson’s collection of guns must be returned to him within 30 days.

Thomson said he came under intense pressure from police to enter a plea and accept a weapons prohibition, but refused due to his belief he was innocent.

Thomson said he racked up about $60,000 in legal costs during the trial, but said much of that was donated by members of the National Firearms Association, the Canadian Sports Shooting Association (CSSA) and readers of the popular pro-firearms online message board CanadianGunNutz.com.

Stay strong, my friends, stay strong. And consider joining and/or donating to the NRA, SAF, GOA, and/or whatever pro-Second Amendment group you prefer. There are also state-level groups. For example, I belong to the Texas State Rifle Association, which does a great job standing up for our 2A rights.

If we don't stand firm and fight back against the gun-grabbing lefitists, we'll be reading more stories like the above, only they'll be datelined "USA."

Dedicated to most of my ex-girlfriends and my first two ex-wives: "I like my women just a little on the trashy side..."

Damn Dogs!

Had a great day spending time with the wife. Went out for a wonderful dinner. Got home and the dogs had been well and truly skunked. Spent the last hour doing shampoo-rinse-repeat.

Net result:

We now stink.

The dogs still stink.

The house and garage stink.

We're pissed off.

The dogs are confused, but contrite.

Posting on hold until things are back to normal.

Boobs In The News

No, we're not talking about the obama administration. Instead, today's topic is that favorite of every red-blooded American male - women's breasts.

Note that we're reporting the news in a mature and responsible manner, and refraining from any snide, lewd, or inappropriate comments.

Not that it wasn't tempting...

Women with large breasts are smarter

A study by a Chicago university sociologist of 1,200 women found that large-breasted women tend to have higher intelligence. The study divided the women into five groups ranging from virtually flat-chested to extra-large breasts.

The results revealed that the big-breasted women had an overall higher I.Q.—about 10 points—than the lesser endowed members of the study. Women with average-sized breasts also beat out those that were in the smallest size group.

Hey, don't blame the messenger. I'm just reporting the study's findings. But I would be remiss if I didn't point out that this proves what men have been saying for years: we're attracted to women because of their minds.

Speaking of large breasts:

66 Pound Stone Breasts Survive Lightning

A pair of stone breasts miraculously survived a devastating lightning strike in Australia over the weekend.

According to Northern Territory News, the stony bosom was all that remained after a bolt of lightning shattered the torso of a Venus de Milo-inspired statue standing in a courtyard in Yarrawonga, Victoria.

But having large breasts isn't always a good thing.

Pamela Anderson has blamed her Dancing on Ice exit on a wardrobe malfunction which saw her infamous assets fall out...

She said: "I feel so bad for Matt [Evers]. I stumbled, my boobs fell out. It's common in my life."

When asked about her future plans, Pam replied, "I want to be in musical theatre. Maybe I'll do something like that."

Yeah, right.

Finally, there was a bit of promising news in the battle against breast cancer.

Squeezing breasts could prevent cancer, best study ever says

New research has shown that squeezing breasts could prevent malignant breast cells from causing cancer. This doesn’t give pervy dudes license to grope you on the subway, ladies, but it does mean boob-grabbing should be a regular part of your self-care routine (yes, absolutely try it DIY-style). Experiments found that physical pressure led cells back to normal growth patterns, and that even after compression was no longer applied, the malignant cells stopped growing.

I'm sure there won't be any shortage of volunteers to help you ladies with this...

Today's Pro-2A Post

“Gun Appreciation Day” to coincide with President Barack Obama’s inauguration later this month

More info here.

Something New To Worry About

As if we didn't have enough to worry about already.

Armed drones circling over American cities.

The obama administration assassinating American citizens - teenagers, no less.

Fiscal cliffs. Spiraling deficits. Attacks on law-abiding American gun owners, not to mention the U.S. Constitution.

Now there are reports that the feds are sending helicopters over our cities mapping radiation signatures in order to respond to a dirty bomb threat. (More info on dirty bombs here.)

Residents of Washington may be surprised by a helicopter flying low overhead this week, endlessly prowling the city to map its radiation signature.

The helicopter is crisscrossing the city, like a lawn mower covering a lawn, flying as low as just 150 feet off the ground. CNN spotted it northwest of downtown on Monday, flying low over the buildings, back and forth, east to west.

The purpose: to produce a baseline scan of the natural radiological readings in the capital. Once the map is done, any new anomalies - or suspicious radioactive activity - could be more easily detected.

I'm sure this falls under the heading of "be prepared," but it's just one more thing to worry about at night instead of sleeping.

It's not just D.C. Helicopter scans have already been completed of New York, Baltimore, and San Francisco.

So far there haven't been any flyovers of Bergheim...

Today's Anti-gun Idiots Post

Speak No Evil

Following up on yesterday's commentary castigating obama for his extensive array of broken promises, this post is drawn from a piece by Fred Barnes in The Weekly Standard.

The premise is that not only has obama broken a number of his campaign promises, he has done so with the full-hearted and enthusiastic cooperation of the media.

... what’s distinctive about the press coverage of Obama is the absence of fault-finding, criticism, and dogged questioning. And when Obama makes excuses, as he often does, the media tend to echo them.

No president in my lifetime has been covered so favorably and so gingerly. Never has the press corps been so unwilling to pursue stories that might cast the president in an unflattering light. As a group, the media pride themselves on taking an adversarial approach to politicians and government officials. But in Obama’s case, the press acts like a helpmate.

Along with that, the media seem fearful of offending Obama...

Might have something to do with that whole 'first black president' thing. If one of them dared question or criticize barry the rest of the pack would turn on him with cries of "racist!"

You want specific examples? Keep reading.

Compare Obama’s coverage with that of President George W. Bush. The difference is startling. There was no fear of affronting Bush. He faced relentless scrutiny of his tactics in the war on terror: wiretaps, renditions, Guantánamo, the Patriot Act. The media raised questions about his motives, the constitutionality of his policies, and his brainpower. White House press conferences became tense and hostile events when national security issues were broached.

Obama’s adoption of these same policies has drawn minimal attention, much less the kind of media wrath that Bush endured...

That's a key point. obama has adopted and continued many of Bush's policies, with nary a media voice raised in condemnation.

Last week, for example, Obama signed a bill extending the use of warrentless wiretapping to gather intelligence on America’s enemies. Bush was harshly criticized by the media on this very issue. Obama got a pass.

Bush was also hassled for so-called signing statements citing provisions of a bill he might not enforce. Charlie Savage, then of the Boston Globe, won a Pulitzer Prize for “his revelations” about Bush’s practice. And, not surprisingly, Obama promised not to do signing statements. Yet he has continued the practice, eliciting some coverage, but none of the outrage that was directed at Bush.

In his efforts to combat terrorism, Bush was accused of exceeding presidential authority. But Obama has made recess appointments when the Senate wasn’t in recess and rewritten parts of immigration and welfare law by executive order, clearly stretching his authority beyond constitutional limits. The press praised the immigration change and winked at the others.

It doesn’t take much imagination to come up with actions that would have aroused the press if committed by Bush, but didn’t with Obama. The list is long. Both the Fast and Furious gunrunning scandal and the Benghazi killings would have led to months of stories, investigative reports, and outraged commentary. But the media proved to be largely incurious in Obama’s case.

Hurricane Sandy created damage in the billions in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut. The role of Obama and his administration in handling the emergency was scarcely addressed. It’s doubtful Bush would have been let off so easily. He certainly wasn’t in 2005 after Katrina ravaged the Gulf Coast.

What if Bush had claimed in speech after speech that Democrats who opposed his policies were putting “party before country”? The media response to an insinuation that Democrats were unpatriotic would have been along the lines of, “How dare the president make such a dastardly claim!” But repeated mentions of “party before country” by Obama have been treated as perfectly acceptable.

And what if Bush had insisted on selective enforcement of federal immigration law and refused to defend in court the Defense of Marriage Act, signed into law by President Clinton? Or if the Bush White House had leaked highly classified national security intelligence to make the president look good? The press would have been in high dudgeon and rightly so. But Obama, guilty on both counts, received media immunity.

Broken promises are the least of Obama’s shortcomings. But the press corps loves to zing presidents for reneging on campaign vows. Obama, as I recall, promised a press conference a month, an immigration bill his first year in office, regular meetings with leaders of both parties in Congress, and unprecedented transparency throughout his administration. He kept none of them, prompting media near-silence.

Have they no pride? No shame?

Evidently not...

Happy Birthday To The King

Today would have been Elvis Presley's 78th birthday. Happy Birthday to the King of Rock and Roll.

I've always been a big Elvis fan. Back when I was young and dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was an ongoing debate over who was better - Elvis, or the Beatles. To me it was no contest. Yes, the Beatles made beautiful music, and had a profound influence on subsequent generations of musicians. But Elvis is the King. His impact on not just music, but society and culture, was much greater.

It is impossible to overstate Elvis’s cultural impact.  At a time when being black kept many from voting, Elvis became the most famous man in the world by performing music largely influenced by black music, paving the way for mainstream acceptance of the style along with its black performers.

He defined the genre of rock-n-roll. He was a much more vibrant entertainer in person than the Beatles. He became an icon.

His fans are legion.

Compare the number of Elvis impersonators to the number of Beatles impersonators. No contest.

Plus Elvis has the added advantage of being made in the USA. He's also a veteran.

Here's his story in a nutshell.

Elvis was born on January 7, 1935 in Tupelo, Miss. His twin brother, Jesse, was stillborn.

Elvis grew up in poverty. His parents couldn’t afford a bicycle that he wanted so they gave him a guitar when he was 11 years old.

In 1948 Elvis and his family moved to Memphis, TN looking for a better life.

In 1953, he graduated from Humes High School.

That same year, Elvis visits The Memphis Recording Service and makes a demo of “My Happiness” and “That’s When Your Heartaches Begin” for $4.00.

Elvis records “Heartbreak Hotel” with RCA in 1956. His first album is released several months later.

Elvis appears on several television shows, and then makes his first movie “Love Me Tender” in 1956.

In 1957 Elvis purchases Graceland for himself, his parents and his grandmother.

In December, 1957 Elvis receives a draft notice and joins the Army in 1958.

He arrives in Germany on October 1, 1958.

By March, 1960, Elvis is discharged from active duty and goes back to making movies and hit songs.

(In the 1970s) Elvis’ health begins to deteriorate mostly due to his overuse of prescription drugs and is hospitalized several times in the next few years.

He dates Linda Thompson from 1972-1976. In 1976 he begins to date Ginger Alden who his with him to his death.

August 16, 1977 – Elvis, unable to sleep and having taken several doses of medication, takes a copy of “The Face of Jesus” into his bathroom. Ginger finds him curled in a fetal position sometime later. He is taken to Baptist Hospital where he is pronounced dead at 3:30 pm.

Even to this day, there are some who claim Elvis is still alive.

In fact, there are reports that he ran for president four years ago.

If only...

The Newest Aggie Joke

Our son, a high school senior, just received his official acceptance letter from Texas A&M. That was his first choice, so he and we are thrilled.

When he leaves our home for A&M next fall, the collective IQ at both places will increase...

Reveille getting primped in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader locker room before the 2013 Cotton Bowl (A&M 41 - OU 13)

Another Gun Map

As a follow-up to yesterday's map showing the location of criminals possessing firearms, today's map shows the location of every Texan that owns a gun (courtesy of Harper).

Each red dot represents a Texas gun owner.

FOD 2013.01.07

Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption, today released its 2012 list of Washington’s “Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians.”

In what should come as no surprise to any thinking human being, barack obama made the list (the list is in alphabetic order, but there's no doubt in my mind that in this case he's #1).

Were there a “Hall of Fame” for broken promises, here is one that would get in on the first ballot: “Let me say it as simply as I can: Transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency” (President Barack Obama, January 21, 2009). Instead of transparency and the rule of law over the past four years, we have witnessed the greatest expansion of government in modern political history and, consequently, an explosion of government secrecy, scandals, and abuses of power. Among the low-lights:

• Illegal recess appointments: Perhaps former Attorney General Ed Meese and Todd Graziano summed it up best in their January 5, 2012, Washington Post guest commentary: “President Obama’s attempt to unilaterally appoint three people to seats on the National Labor Relations Board and Richard Cordray to head the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (after the Senate blocked action on his nomination) is more than an unconstitutional attempt to circumvent the Senate’s advice-and-consent role. It is a breathtaking violation of the separation of powers and the duty of comity that the executive owes to Congress.”

• Illegal immigration: In mid-June, Obama announced that by executive decree – and in apparent violation of his oath of office – his administration would stop deporting and begin granting work permits to younger illegal immigrants who came to the U.S. as children. According to The AP, “the policy change … bypasses Congress and partially achieves the goals of the so-called DREAM Act, a long-sought but never enacted plan …” Lest anyone doubt that Obama knew he was overriding the law of the land, in March, 2011, he said, “There are enough laws on the books by Congress that are very clear in terms of how we have to enforce our immigration system that for me to simply, through executive order, ignore those congressional mandates would not conform with my appropriate role as President.”

• Unprecedented secrecy: Judicial Watch has had to file almost 1,000 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests and nearly 100 lawsuits against the Obama administration on issues ranging from Obamacare to the continued funding of the criminal ACORN network; from tracking Wall Street bailout money to the unconstitutional use of czars; to White House visitor logs; to the attacks on the integrity of our nation’s elections.  This president touts transparency but condones law-breaking of open records laws by his administration.

• Unconstitutional czars: As far back as 2009, Reuters reported, “Name a top issue and President Barack Obama has probably got a ‘czar responsible for tackling it.” By the time the Judicial Watch Special Report President Obama’s Czars was published in October 2011, the number of Obama czars had skyrocketed to 45. Largely unconfirmed by and unaccountable to the Senate, many of Obama’s czars are often outside the reach of FOIA.  Some of these czars exercise unprecedented and unconstitutional control over major aspects of government policy and programs. And a number of the czars have been linked to scandals, thefts and kickbacks, flagrant and offensive statements, conflicts of interest, and radical leftist political ideologies and policies.

• Use of Executive Privilege to protect Eric Holder: On June 20, 2012, Barack Obama acquiesced to a plea from Attorney General Eric Holder and asserted “executive privilege” to protect the Attorney General from being prosecuted for failing to provide Congress with Fast and Furious documents. On March 22, 2011, when asked by a Univision TV if he had been informed of the Holder gunrunning program, Obama bluntly stated, “Absolutely not. This is a pretty big government, the United States government. I’ve got a lot of moving parts.” So, as Judge Andrew Napolitano said on Fox News, “They can’t have it both ways. If the President was not personally involved, executive privilege does not apply.”  To this day, President Obama refuses to detail the specific documents he is withholding from Congress.

The list could go on ad infinitum – with Benghazigate, bailouts, abusing the perks of office for luxury vacations for his family, and, of course, his personal involvement in the Solyndra scandal. But the bottom line is this: The federal government under Barack Obama is off the rails and out of control. And now, with Obama having been given the “flexibility” of a second term, it can only be expected to get worse.

But, to be fair, it must be noted that obama was highly rated on another list.

Obama rated as the 4th best president ever.

A study group recently released its findings as to the best presidents of the United States of America. According to that study, obama has been rated as the 4th best president ever.

• Reagan and 9 others tied for first.
• 15 presidents tied for second.
• 18 tied for third.
• obama came in fourth.

(Thanks, Bots)

How It Should Really Be Reported...

... if the so-called journalists were more interested in facts and logic than in demonizing law-abiding gun owners.

(H/T Moonbattery)

Sunday Funnies 2013.01.06

It's that time of year when weight loss companies and health clubs experience a surge in membership - a short-lived surge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man calls a weight loss company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"

He lost 63 pounds that week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My health club trainer has no confidence in me. The first machine he put me on was the respirator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Gun!!!

Duck And Cover - 21st Century Style

Thursday I posted about the obama administration's indiscriminate use of drones to assassinate American citizens -- including women and children -- in foreign countries. Serendipitously, yesterday Peter had a post about the expanded use of drones here in the U.S. and their potential for 'extreme misuse.'

... technology that has been developed for military purposes will eventually be adapted for use elsewhere. You didn't really expect the manufacturers of fighter drones to quietly shutter their businesses after we "win" the Afghan war, did you?

Of course not. Thus, in February of last year, President Obama signed the FAA Reauthorization Act, which includes a provision that the Federal Aviation Administration create a comprehensive program for the integration of drone technology into the national air space by 2015. The agency predicts that there will be upwards of 30,000 drones flying the friendly skies of the US by 2020.

Fact is, domestic drone usage even predates the 2012 Act. Without any explicit legislative authorization, the FAA issued 313 certificates for drone operation over the previous year. The agency is mum on which organizations received the certificates and to what purposes they may have been put. However, we do know that the FAA has already approved drones for use by the Department of Homeland Security and US Customs and Border Patrol, as well as in some state and local law enforcement operations.

For example:

Law enforcement near Houston, Texas will soon have a $300,000 robotic surveillance drone in their arsenal, and if Montgomery County’s chief deputy has his say, it’s only a matter of time before that aircraft will be equipped to fire from above.

That's bad enough. But the truly scary part is the relentless migration of military technology to individual use. A couple of obvious examples: 'evil' black rifles; and GPS systems. It's only been about 20 years since military-quality GPS technology became available to civilians, and now it's everywhere; vehicles, cell phones, pocket units for hunters and hikers ... hell, you can even get handheld units so accurate that they're used on the golf course (not that I can hit a shot precisely 137 yards, or whatever the distance is -- I'm lucky if I get within 20 yards +/- of a given distance -- but the technology exists, and is user-friendly enough and affordable enough, for a hacker like me to carry one around).

Now extrapolate that to drones. If you've got boys of a certain age you're already familiar with radio-controlled 'toys' with 15+ minutes of flying time - and controllable from your iPhone. At the next level, "you can go online and buy a Zephyr – proclaimed to have a "stealthy" electric propulsion system, 60-minute flight time, and 30-mile control range – for $9,500, a surprisingly small sum." Or buy the components at a hobby store and build one yourself.

Couple that with a chunk of C-4 studded with roofing nails, or a glass container filled with homemade ricin (made from castor beans - see the Internet for instructions) and you have the makings of a disaster - undetectable, unpreventable, and easily repeatable.

The article points out potential targets: government offices, people you have a grudge against, law enforcement or military establishments, even the president during his inauguration (not necessarily obama - any generic president will do).

Keep in mind that those targets mentioned above are static: that is, they are at a fixed location with easily obtainable longitude and latitude coordinates. That means any technology that might jam cell phone or radio-control frequencies would be useless against a drone coupled with a pre-programmed GPS device.

Read the article. It's illuminating - and frightening...

One Night Stand

For tonight only I'll have to be an A&M fan. Gig 'em Aggies, Johnny Friggin' Football, and all that good stuff.

At the risk of upsetting some of the folks who occasionally drop by this little corner of the Internet, IMO there is not a more obnoxious football-related song than Boomer Sooner. It's even worse than Hail to the Redskins.

Next on the list is the Aggie War Hymn, but it's a distant third to the other two.

On the other hand, The Eyes of Texas is music to my ears...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2013.01.04

I wish the first Happy Hour of the year could be a little more upbeat, but the way things are going this song is becoming more and more applicable...

Current Irony

Oh, the irony. Oh, the hypocrisy.

On the irony side, we have Al Gore selling his Current TV cable disaster network to, of all people, Al Jazeera, the propaganda arm of Mid-East terrorist groups. What makes this ironic is that Al Gore, high priest of the global warming fanatics climate change advocates failed weather forecasters, is selling out to a company built and funded by petrodollars.

And we have an added dose of irony arising from the fact that "an extremist propaganda outlet that seeks the destruction of America" is being replaced on U.S. cable TV by a terrorist-controlled media organization.

Not that we'll notice much difference.

The hypocrisy comes from Al's insistence that the deal close before 12/31/2012 so that he and his 'evil rich' partners could avoid paying higher income taxes under the fiscal cliff debacle agreement signed this week.

Mr. Gore and his partners were eager to complete the deal by Dec. 31, lest it be subject to higher tax rates that took effect on Jan. 1...

Not to mention that Gore rejected an offer by Glenn Beck's media company to buy Current TV.

Why? (Warning: put down any drink containers and swallow any liquids before reading the next paragraph.)

Beck's company "was told that 'the legacy of who the network goes to is important to us and we are sensitive to networks not aligned with our point of view.' "

So by implication Al Jazeera -- mouthpiece for terrorists -- is more aligned with Al Gore, Keith Olbermann, and the rest of the Current TV liberals than a conservative American.

Not a surprise, really, once you stop and think about it.

But there is one bit of good news in all this.

"... as a result of the purchase, Time Warner Cable dropped the station with a message reading to viewers "This channel is no longer available on Time Warner Cable."

I'm not a big fan of Time Warner -- actually, I despise them -- but in this case I'm on their side.

What's In A Name?

It's not just the big things, like the inability to manage budgets and deficits, that drive me crazy when it comes to government. it's the little things too. Like this one:

A 15-year-old is suing the Icelandic state for the right to legally use the name given to her by her mother. The problem? Blaer, which means "light breeze" in Icelandic, is not on a list approved by the government.

Like a handful of other countries, including Germany and Denmark, Iceland has official rules about what a baby can be named.

Lord have mercy - I thought our government was bad. But at least we have the freedom to name our kids whatever we please.

On second thought, that may not be such a good idea, as these examples from Mostly Cajun show.

Garrett G. & Tavyn(!) V. do a son with classic cars in mind and we see little Hudson Conner.

Joseph A. & Tommeka(!) W. apostrophicate a daughter, little Jayvona Ja’vayah.  Note that they are not proponents of the “capialize the first letter after the goofy-a**ed apostrophe’ rule.

Christopher & Tiffany G. give their son a stripper name, Blaise Alexander.  Oh, yeah, YOU think they named him after a French mathematician?  yeah, right!  They wouldn’t know ‘french mathematician’ if one snuck up and bit ‘em in the ass.

Terrance & Rachelle J. name their daughter after a notorious slut, so we see little Paris Tiana.  Okay, they could’ve named her after a favorite vacation spot for the German Army.

Miss Jerica L. just pops up and tags her son with Wasey James.

Christian & Angela G. name their son after candy, showing us little Neko James. Oh, that’s Necco?  Okay, that makes the name okay, then…

Coby(!) & Lisa C. go the ‘random last name’ route with their daughter,little Harper Anne.

Jamie P. & Kristi(!) L. do a son, Jalyn Lamar.  “I cain’t go ta Wal-marts wit’ ya today.  Dey be jailin’ Lamar.”

Reggie & Buffi(Seriously?!?  Buffi?!?) H. like that “i” at the end of a name, so their daughter is Jayci Lynn.

D’Shawn(!) D. & Alyssa B. dredge up a stripper name for their daughter, little Stormii Kimberlynn.

David & Heidi S. grab a consonant and a handful of vowels from s Scarbble game and come with a name for their daughter, Kaia Evangeline.

Andrew ‘n’ Amber B. give their daughter a career path, tagging her with Cooper Kaylynn.

Miss Morgan M. gives her daughter a boost in life by means of an elegant handle, Auriane Flora’kah.  Baby daddy?  Nope!  Takes a village, and a chunk of my paycheck.

Miss Christina J. triples up on her daughter, little Adyleigh Sue Elyse.  ‘Nother baby daddy flew de coop.

Michael T. & Lauielle(!) R. do a daughter, little A’Moree.

Terrance & Katherine R. apostrophicate their daughter, little Ka’Terra Marie.

Jack & Brittney W. melodically name their daughter Skylar Rayne.

Elton F. & Shila(!) R. start their son at the top, naming him King Brayden.

Cool Song (I normally don’t post full surnames, but ‘Cool Song’ is just too good to leave alone!) & Kelvisha(!) B. do a son, Kayson Rahim.

Elwar(!) D. & Tremayne(!) C. perpetuate the travesty by naming their son Elwar Jancin.

Aarik(!) Y. & Ashlee F. perpetuate their own travesty by taggin their baby boy with Aarik Rochon.

Dakotah(!) F. & Taylor R. name their daughter after a collarless shirt and a green rock, giving us little Henley Jade.

Andrew S. & Alexis P. apostrophicate their baby boy, little Ne’Valyn Terreal.  Who wants to bet they can’t spell that the same way twice in a row?

Seth & Danielle Y. celebrate their Hebraic roots by naming their son Cohen Ray.  One can’t help but wonder if the next son is going to be Levi Bubba?

And the last apostrophe of 2012 comes from William T. & Jennifer S, with their daughter, A’Myri Cruzette.

Pity the poor clerk who has to fill out those birth certificates...

Blood On Their Hands

Recently a 16-year-old American teenager was killed by an act of terrorism.

The boy was like many other kids. He had a Facebook page. He loved "The Simpsons." And he was innocent of any wrongdoing.

He was killed in an attack on a restaurant in Yemen.

His killers? The U.S. government.

His crime? His father was a suspected terrorist.

The obama administration's response?

Indefensibly, former White House press secretary and Obama campaign adviser Robert Gibbs said...“You should have a far more responsible father” if you don't want to be killed. (Abdulrahman's father, Anwar al-Awlaki, was suspected by the U.S. of terrorism and was killed by a drone two weeks before his son.) But surely no one would suggest that children are fair game simply because their parents are suspected of wrongdoing.

The Bush administration began using drones in 2002. But obama and his cronies have dramatically expanded the program from targeting specific individuals identified and specified in advance "to targeting groups of unidentified individuals who fit a secret profile."

I've got no problem with blasting terrorists from the face of the earth. But I do have a problem with an administation that asserts "the government has the authority to kill Americans without having to account to any court for its actions."

...the U.S. Constitution requires due process when life is at stake. The government cannot be permitted to deprive an American child of his life without any judicial review, even after the fact...

In the face of the government's official silence about the death of his grandson, Nasser al-Awlaki went to court to seek answers. At issue in the lawsuit, which was filed by the American Civil Liberties Union and the Center for Constitutional Rights, is the government's obligation to account for its actions in killing Abdulrahman, his father and another U.S. citizen, Samir Khan.

If this case is dismissed, as the government asks, a grieving grandfather will be left without any explanation or accountability for the death of his 16-year-old grandson. And Americans will be left with a government that insists it has the unilateral and unreviewable power to kill people, including nonthreatening Americans. That would be a terrifying precedent to set.

Call my feelings about this a leftover vestiage of my liberal youth. Or call it conservative outrage over the government's abuse of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

Call it whatever you want, but I call it reprehensible, disgraceful, and just plain wrong.

One would expect the liberals in the media to be protesting this from the treetops -- like they would if Bush had done it -- but the silence has been deafening.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but if the obama administration gets away with murdering U.S. citizens in foreign lands, with no accountability, how long before we start seeing drones circling overhead here at home?

Cold Outside, Warm Inside

Lately the weather here has been gloomy - cold, cloudy/drizzly, and just plan dank. When it gets like this I like to spend time in the kitchen cooking something that will get the chill out of my bones. Generally that means chili, although this week I did make a batch of black-eyed pea soup, in accordance with the old Southern superstition that eating black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will bring you good luck.

I've provided the recipes below, but first I insist on a word regarding the proper way to prepare chili. Real chili contains beef, peppers, and onions - period. Tomatoes are optional, but allowed (I happen to like tomatoes, so I include them in my chili).

I've heard tell that some heathens use beans, chicken, and even pasta, for God's sake, but that kind of nonsense degrades the noble Bowl of Red (or Bowl of Blessedness, as it is sometimes known). As my dear old Daddy likes to say, "Only yankees and communists put beans in their chili."

So if you're going to make chili do it right and make it as our Dear Lord intended - without beans, pasta, or any other superfluous ingredient.

If you're interested in the recipes just click on the buttons below.

Bergheim Follies Chili

There are three keys to this chili. The first is toasting the cumin. That gives it a richer, deeper flavor that permeates the chili. The second is the use of chipotle rather than jalapeno peppers. It makes the heat of the dish much more subtle; your mouth won't burn like it will with jalapenos, but have a few spoonfuls you'll start to feel warm all over. Chipotle peppers also impart a smoky flavor that compliments the toasted cumin. Finally, of course, is the bacon. Traditionalists insist on the use of lard or suet, but IMO bacon is an improvement over them.

6 - 8 slices of bacon
3 lbs. beef, cubed (not ground beef - beef tips, stew meat, round steak, brisket - basically any type of budget beef cut will do)
1 lb. onions, chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsps ground cumin
4 tbsps chili powder
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes in puree
1 15 oz. can beef broth
2 dried chipotle peppers, seeded and chopped
1 12 oz. bottle of Shiner or similar dark, heavy beer.

Fry the bacon in a large frying pan. Remove and chop into small pieces. Set aside.

In the bacon drippings, brown the cubed beef over high heat. Don't cook it, just brown it. Remove and set aside.

Sauté the onions in remaining bacon drippings until lightly browned, about 8 - 10 minutes.

While the onion is sautéing, toast the cumin in a small frying pan over medium heat for 1 -2 minutes. Stir constantly and do not overcook.

Add the toasted cumin, minced garlic, and remaining spices to the sautéing onions. Sauté for 1 more minute.

Put the chopped bacon, beef broth, tomatoes, chilies, and beef into a large stock pot. Add the onion, garlic, and spices from the frying pan. Drink half the beer and add the remaining half.

Stir to mix ingredients. Cover and bring to a boil. Once the chili begins to bubble reduce the heat, partially uncover so some of the steam can escape, and simmer for about 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

Adjust the consistency to suit your taste. To thicken, stir a tablespoon or two of flour, cornstarch, or, if you really want to be authentic, masa harina, into 1/4 to 1/2 cup warm water. Stir the resulting slurry into the chili. If you need more liquid to achieve your desired consistency then open another bottle of beer, drink half, and add the remaining half.

Spicy Black-Eyed Pea Soup

6 slices bacon, chopped into small pieces
1 medium onion, chopped
1 - 2 jalapeno peppers, finely chopped (see note below)
1 14 oz. can diced tomatoes, with liquid (see note below)
1 clove garlic, minced
salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste
2 cups beef bouillon
4 16 oz. cans black-eyed peas, drained
3 cups grated cheese (I use Swiss, but any kind is acceptable)
Fresh cilantro (optional)

(Note: You can substitute 1 can of Ro-tel diced tomatoes and green chilies for the jalapenos and plain diced tomatoes)

Fry the bacon in a large saucepan or stock pot until lightly browned. Add the onions, jalapenos, tomatoes, garlic, salt, and pepper to bacon drippings. Sauté for around 5 minutes.

Add bouillon, peas, and cheese. Simmer gently until cheese is melted.

Garnish with fresh cilantro, if desired.

Serves 6 – 8.

Serve with crackers and Shiners.

So much for any 'eat healthy' New Year's resolutions...

Horse Porn

Went to a wedding reception last night. Had a nice time, and got home and in bed early for a change. One of the topics of conversation among several of the ladies there was the book 50 Shades of Grey. It has been variously described as an erotic novel, soccer mom porn, or just plain trash.

Another conversational thread was horses. We live in an area where many people own or have an interest in horses, from standard working horses to thoroughbreds. There's a small breeding and training operation a few miles from here. Team Roping is big in this area, with the George Strait Team Roping Classic being held every year just down the road, and many less formal competitions held at county fairs, rodeos, and weekend jackpot events.

So it wasn't surprising when the two streams of conversation merged and ended up with the combined topic of horse porn...

It's Shaping Up To Be A Long Year

Oh my aching head...

New Year's Eve started off civilized. We had a few people over to our place for a wine-tasting before going out to dinner.

We're not wine snobs, but we do go through a fair amount of the stuff (my wife is such a lush...). So when I ran across this site I thought I'd give it a try (with the twin good intentions of helping burgeoning entrepreneurs and saving a few bucks).

Anyway, the wine was good. One bottle was outstanding, one was pretty good, and the other was drinkable - not bad for less than $10 per bottle. We had snacks laid out, and there were five couples, so when we left for dinner everyone was in a good mood, but no one had over-indulged.

Yet...

Off to dinner we went, at the only restaurant in our tiny little community. We all had a cocktail before dinner, and a couple of bottles of wine shared among everyone with our meal - again, very civilized behavior. Then some fool (not me) ordered a pitcher of martinis.

Things went downhill from there...

We were in two large SUVs, and two of the wives had volunteered to be designated drivers. While that was noble behavior on their part, it shifted the burden of finishing off that pitcher onto the rest of us.

Fortunately(?!?), we were up to the task.

After dinner we went to another couple's house to have some champagne and watch the ball drop. Things were getting a little rocky at this point, especially after the third (or was it the fourth?) bottle of bubbly was opened. However, everyone was still hanging in there.

Then our host brought out the tequila.

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

This wasn't just any rotgut tequila. It was Don Julio 1942 - truly a nectar of the gods. A warm, smooth, magnificent drink, made for sipping - nay, savoring.

But it was still tequila. And there's something about tequila wherein one sip leads to another, slightly larger sip, which in turn leads to yet another sip -- well, more of a gulp, actually -- which leads to ... well, you get the idea.

The end result was something like this.

To top things off, we have a wedding reception to go to tonight.

If this trend continues, 2013 is going to be a long -- and painful -- year...

Off To A Rough Start

Welcome to 2013. It's off to a rough start.

A toast to start the day, as I indulge in a little hair of the dog:

It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.
 -- William Thomas

But seriously, folks, I'd like to share a prayer with you to begin the new year.

Dear Lord,

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

No, really...

In a moment of self-reflection I've taken a look back at how I changed as a person over the past twelve months.

Okay, this time I'm really, really serious. Here's some toasts I offered last night to everyone who drops by this little corner of the Interweb thingie.

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want.
 -- Traditional Irish Toast

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
 -- Benjamin Franklin

And for one final perspective on the whole idea of New Year's and resolutions, here's a couple of my favorite philosophers - Calvin and Hobbes. (Click to embiggen.)