Sunday, January 13, 2013

Sunday Funnies 2013.01.13

The big news around here this week was the skunking of our dogs. By now it's reached the point where we can laugh about it - almost...

Q: What do you get when you cross a robot and a skunk?
A: R-2 P-U!

Q: Which rapper do skunks like?
A: 50 Scent!

Q: Why didn't the skunk call his parents?
A: Because his phone was out of odor!

 * * * * *

A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar.

It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."

The man says, "One more for me... and one more for my skunk."

The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.

The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."

The man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a skunk."

 * * * * *

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a skunk sitting next to him.

"Are you a skunk?" asked the man, surprised.


"What are you doing watching the movie?"

The skunk replied, "Well, I liked the book."

 * * * * *

One day in the woods, three animals were discussing who was the most powerful animal in the woods.

"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly on my prey."

"That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."

The skunk said "I've got you both beat. I am the most powerful because with a flick of my tail I can drive off the two of you."

Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all ... hawk, lion, and stinker.


Old NFO said...

Love the last one!!! :-)

Bag Blog said...

A skunk, a duck, and a giraffe were drinking in a bar. When it came time to pay the tab, the duck said, "I've only got a bill."
The skunk said, "I've only got a cent." the giraffe said, "I guess the high-balls are on me."

CenTexTim said...

NFO - yeah, that one's my favorite.

BB - groan...