Re-Inspired

Okay, this is two days late, but here's a couple of post-Veterans Day stories. I especially love the first one, and am officially disgusted by the second one.

My New Hero: 108 Year Old Smoker, Drinker, and American Hero

Richard Overton is a 108-year-old World War II veteran who served at Pearl Harbor, and fought in both Okinawa and Iwo Jima … He also smokes 12 cigars a day, loves guns, and drinks whiskey with his coffee every morning.

The centenarian still lives in the house he bought when he returned from World War II, still drives an old Ford truck and a Chevy Monte Carlo and still helps "transport widows to church."

Way to go, Richard! I'm not a cigar smoker, but I'll join you in having a whiskey-laced cup of coffee first thing in the morning. It makes facing the day a whole lot easier.

That's a great feel-good story. Sadly, the following is a mega-downer.

School Cancels Veteran’s Day Ceremony… Because of 21-Gun Salute

(On Veterans Day) America honored its men and women in uniform for their bravery and sacrifice, unless that is, you live in Wisconsin’s Eau Claire School District where celebrating our liberties and freedoms should only be done when it’s convenient and politically correct.

...the school district has cancelled its Veteran’s Day program because the shooting of guns is “inappropriate.”

 For more than 80 years, a local Wisconsin school district had hosted a Veterans Day program to honor former soldiers, featuring a traditional 21-gun salute. But after reports earlier this year of parents and students feeling “uneasy” about the firing of guns on school grounds — even with blank rounds, as is customary in the 21-gun salute — the Eau Claire School District canceled the program.

Apparently, some parents complained to the school council – it’s not clear how many – but the town’s 80 year old tradition has now been cancelled. Well, maybe not cancelled, Veterans and those who want to celebrate can move down to the local Burger King parking lot, where the 21 gun salute has been authorized.

I'm not a big fan of fast food, but I'm going to have lunch at the local Burger King - and send an email to their corporate headquarters telling them why.

I wonder what 108-year-old veteran Richard Overton would have to say about this nonsense.

Uninspired

I'm just not feeling it today. Here's some random images that give you something to look at while also clearing out my in-box.

Two birds, one stone...

Veterans Day AAR

On Veterans Day my wife and I attended a ceremony at the assisted living facility where my 97-year-old father now resides. It was almost like a military-themed church service. It opened with the Pledge of Allegiance, followed by group singing of the Battle Hymn of the Republic. A retired Marine chaplain gave a short speech/sermon. Then all the veterans in attendance were recognized. The chaplain and a visiting Navy Commander presented them with certificates of appreciation and pinned commemorative American flag pins on them. In what I thought was a nice touch, veteran's spouses were recognized as well. As the chaplain said, they were the glue that held families together through deployments and changes of station. After that we all sang each service's song (there was no choir or musical accompaniment - the singing was spirited, but wretched). A moment of silence was observed, Taps was played, and everyone adjourned for doughnuts and punch.

One of the things I noticed was the high proportion of veterans. Granted, this was an assisted living home, so most of the folks there were 'of age' during WWII, but the percentage was easily over 50%. I fear today the ratio of those with military service to civilians is nowhere near that high, to our country's detriment.

It was inspiring and heart-wrenching at the same time to see all those elderly veterans struggle to stand at appropriate times throughout the ceremony. The chaplain told them it was okay to remain seated, but none of them wanted to admit weakness. Their spirit was indomitable, even as their bodies were failing.

Veterans Day is kind of a big deal in our family. Dad is a decorated WWII combat veteran (Bronze Star and Purple Heart, awarded during action at the Battle of the Bulge) and retired career military man. Mom was one of the first Women in the Air Force (WAF). My wife's father was a naval officer during WWII. He had an aircraft carrier sunk out from under him (USS Block Island). Her mother was a civilian driver for various military staff officers during the war.

I was in the Army for three years but got out when I discovered I didn't like taking orders.

Then I got married...

After that ceremony we moved on to another. The small town of Boerne, near where we live, has a park dedicated to veterans. Today marked the completion of a project to refurbish and renovate that park. One of the new features is a Walk of Honor. For a small donation you can get a stone in the Walk inscribed with the name and branch of service of a loved one who is or was a veteran. We got stones for all of our family members, so we went there to take a look. A very moving ceremony, and a very well done renovation.

It's wonderful living in a small community that still honors American values and traditions.

Veterans Day 2014

There's a Veterans Day toast that been floating around for a while. It goes something like this.

"To those have fought, to those who have fallen, to those who continue the fight."

As we observe Veterans Day 2014 I'd like to suggest that we all take a moment to express our gratitude to those who have served. I'll be doing so most of today (more on that later), but I will find some quiet time this evening to offer up that toast. If you, like me, are inclined to take a wee sip of spirits as part of your toast, may I suggest you consider one of these two fine American bourbons. (Full Disclosure - I have no connection or relationship, financial or otherwise, to either of these two distilleries.)

Veterans Day: Two Kentucky Bourbons Founded By Combat Vets

... it’s my solemn duty as a veteran / whiskey writer to inform you that on Veterans Day you can toast all Americans who served their country with two bourbons founded by U.S. combat veterans.

Bulleit Bourbon founder Tom Bulleit was a Navy corpsman attached to Marines and saved lives in Vietnam. When Bulleit speaks about Vietnam, like many veterans who remember their wars, his posture changes. “The thing I am most proud of in my life – other than being a husband and a father – is my service as a corpsman with the Marine Corps in Vietnam,” he says. “Nothing comes close to that.”

Tom Bulleit, the founder of Bulleit Bourbon, in Vietnam.

(Bulleit Bourbon) is poised to compete at the highest levels of bourbon sales. MB Roland Distillery, on the other hand, is a microscopic brand in comparison, but the stellar whiskey stands neck and neck with the bigger brands in taste offs.

A U.S. Army Infantry officer and West Point graduate, MB Roland founder Paul Tomaszewski named the Western Kentucky distillery after his wife’s maiden name, Merry Beth Roland. He served two tours in Iraq and came up with the idea for a distillery while in Iraq.

Paul Tomaszewski founded MB Roland Distillery.

What better way to honor our veterans than by supporting their post-military efforts...

The Few, The Proud, The 239 Year Olds

On this day in 1775 the Continental Congress established the United States Marine Corps. The world has been a better place ever since.

The Few. The Proud. The Marines.

Tuesday is Veterans Day, a celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good. We salute them all. But today belongs to the United States Marines, marking the 239th birthday of the Corps.

On March 20, 1779, Captain William Jones of the Continental Marines placed a recruiting advertisement in The Providence Gazette (digital banner ads being unavailable at the time), which read in part “The Continental ship Providence, now lying at Boston, is bound on a short cruise, immediately; a few good men are wanted to make up her complement.” If you want a celebrity endorsement regarding that practice, it was George Washington who later commented, “It is infinitely better to have a few good men than many indifferent ones.”

So to the complement of those few good men, past and present, we say “Happy Birthday.”

And (as is traditional) “Semper Fi, brothers.”

Here is perhaps the best quote ever about the Corps:

The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!

Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

And here are words we would all do well to repeat:

Eternal Father, we commend to Thy protection and care the members of the Marine Corps. Guide and direct them in the defense of our country and in the maintenance of justice among nations. Protect them in the hour of danger. Grant that wherever they serve they may be loyal to their high traditions and that at all times they may put their trust in Thee; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

—Marine Corps Prayer by Bishop Sherrill, former Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church and hero of WW I.

Amen.

FOD 2014.11.10

Schadenfreude, midterm election version.

Perspective #1:

... when Obama took office, Democrats had 59 senators and 256 House members; after Tuesday night, they will likely have 45-47 senators and some 190 House members. That is one of the biggest slides in congressional seats of any modern president.

Perspective #2:

President Barack Obama walked into the White House nearly six years ago with a robust Senate majority and a promise to change politics.

Now, he's heading into his final years of office estranged from Democrats in the minority on Capitol Hill, facing Republicans uninterested in making big compromises and a public that has largely moved on from the heady early days of the administration.

Under-reported Perspective:

In addition to the GOP gains in the U.S., Senate, House and governorships it was an historic night for the party in state legislatures.

The Republican wave that swept over the states left Democrats at their weakest point in state legislatures since the 1920s.

Final Word:

Republican lawmakers have done so well in the Nov. 4 midterm elections that it’s safe to say at this point that the era of President Obama is over — or so says the Huffington Post’s Howard Fineman.

Fineman’s comments were prompted by a question from MSNBC’s Chris Matthews.

“Which party has the spark right now?” Matthews asked.

“Oh, the Republican Party for sure,” Fineman responded. “The Dems have to reinvent themselves all over again. The Obama era is over.” (emphasis added)

We can only hope so.

How's that Hope and Change working out for you, barry?

Sunday Funnies 2014.11.09

Observations from this weekend's reunion:

When people say you look “Great”...they add “for your age”!

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

You know when you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks!

Before going anywhere you make sure to bring your eye glasses!

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

There is absolutely nothing left to learn the hard way.

A common topic of conversation is grandkids. This story was unanimously chosen as the best.

My small grandson got lost at the big parade downtown last year.

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"

The guard  asked, "What's his name?"

"Grandpa"

The guard smiled, then asked, "What's he like?"

The little tyke hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Johnnie Walker Red and women with big tits."

The Great Emu War

Time for a history lesson, with a side helping of civics. (Sources here and here .)

The Great Emu War

In the aftermath of the First World War different countries wrestled with the problem of how to reintegrate their veterans into society. In Britain houses were built ‘fit for heroes’, in Italy soldiers coming home were invited to beat up socialists and in Australia veterans from that country  were given land to farm. These Australian veterans would be the instigators of one of the most bizarre episodes in their nation’s history: the celebrated Emu War of 1932.

In the immediate aftermath of the Great War about 5000 veterans were gifted farming lands in the badlands in the outback near Perth, Western Australia. These farming projects, in fact, prospered relatively well, compared with similar projects in other parts of the country: only about one in three of the farmers gave up or were forced out in the first decade. The successful farmers typically specialised in sheep and wheat farming and several good seasons made many of these farms, albeit on marginal land, into profitable concerns.

Then the emus struck.

Emus had been a protected native species up until 1922, when they’d made such a nuisance of themselves on the wheat farms – flattening crops, eating them down to a stub – that they were officially reclassified as ‘vermin’. By late 1932, there were 20,000 of them wreaking havoc on the marginal wheat farms of the beleaguered veterans, and even these men, trained riflemen, who felled thousands of the mighty birds, could not put a dent in their numbers. Bounties were put on their beaks, but to no avail.

The veterans couldn’t get access to the ammunition they needed, so they called on the Australian military to take action. It was a pretty ludicrous idea – sending the army to cull 20,000 flightless bird giants – but as Murray Johnson suggests in the Journal of Australian Studies, it could have been a propaganda exercise to show that the government was doing something to support its struggling war heroes.

Led by Major G.P.W. Meredith of the Seventh Heavy Battery of the Royal Australian Artillery, the army set out on 2 November 1932, determined to gun down a group of 50 birds in the district of Campion. They moved in formation behind the birds, and the birds answered their organised assault with inspired chaos, scattering themselves in all directions to minimise the casualties. But despite their best efforts, says Johnson, “the first blood in the bizarre ‘Emu War’ had thus been drawn by the Australian army.”

It was Game On.

Two days later, the emus had their revenge. Concealed gunners sighted 1,000 emus nearby, and waited patiently for them to make their way over. At point-blank range, says Johnson, the soldiers open fired, felling maybe 10, 12 emus. But then the machine-gun jammed. The emus scattered once again... The media had a field day, quoting one of the recruits as saying:

“The emus have proved that they are not so stupid as they are usually considered to be. Each mob has its leader, always an enormous black-plumed bird standing fully six-feet high, who keeps watch while his fellows busy themselves with the wheat. At the first suspicious sign, he gives the signal, and dozens of heads stretch up out of the crop. A few birds will take fright, starting a headlong stampede for the scrub, the leader always remaining until his followers have reached safety.”

A platoon of emus patrolling the outback.

The problem was that from the beginning the emus proved to have considerably more acumen than their human opponents. Emus rarely formed into large groups and when they did it was difficult to predict where these big groups would come together.

It sounds like the emus thoroughly understood the concept of guerrilla warfare.

The army tried gunning them down in moving trucks, but found they couldn’t aim properly at their speedy foes. A lone victim rendered himself a nuisance all the way to the end, his corpse getting tangled up in the vehicle’s steering equipment, which caused it to veer off and destroy half a length of somebody’s fence.

“On 8 November, it was reported that Major Meredith’s party had used 2,500 rounds of ammunition – twenty-five per cent of the allotted total – to destroy 200 emus,” says Johnson. “When one New South Wales state Labor politician enquired whether ‘a medal was to be struck for those taking part in this war’, his federal counterpart in Western Australia, responded that they should rightly go to the emus who ‘have won every round so far’.”

A second campaign was mounted by Major Meredith on 13 November 1932, killing 40 emus. Two days later, barely any, but about a month later its was reported that 100 emus were being killed every week. Even so, Meredith did the math and found that it took 10 bullets to bring down every one emu, which was a pretty dismal effort. He was recalled and – all praise our skittery warrior bird-giants – the Great Emu War had finally come to an end.

Emu warrior on the attack.

Unfortunately for the emus, however, the story doesn't end there. Although the gallant birds won the first round, they eventually lost the war. In a lesson that should be burned into the brain of every politician and government bureaucrat, the Australian government decided to get out of the emu extermination business and turn things over to those best equipped and motivated to solve the problem - the farmers themselves.

...the government decided to provide the ammunition that the locals needed to take care of the problem themselves, and some 57,034 emu lives were claimed over six months in 1934.

A classic case of the private sector being more efficient and effective than government.

The emus, however, managed to get the last laugh.

Now, the gangly bird that takes its place of pride on the Australian coat of arms with our other awkwardly-gaited native, the kangaroo, has had its status as a protected animal reinstated. The emu population around Australia is estimated to be around 600,000 to over 700,000, and nationally they’re classified as ‘of least concern’.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2014.11.7

I'm out of town on a reunion/golf trip. Here's our theme song for the weekend.


Drive for show, putt for dough...

Old Friends

My long-suffering and very understanding wife will have to make do without me this weekend - again.

After being gone for almost two weeks on a hunting trip, I've been home just long enough to do my laundry and enjoy several home-cooked meals and a few nights sleeping in my own bed. Now I'm leaving for a reunion/golf weekend. A group of us from way back when I used to work for a living began these outings thirty years ago. We get together to play a few rounds, have a few drinks, and tell a few lies. Over the years the hair has gotten grayer (or thinner) and the waistlines have grown, but not much else has changed.

It'll be good to see old friends again (at my age, all of my friends are old...).

Oh Deer

In all my years of deer hunting - heck, in all my years, period - I've never heard of anything remotely this bizarre.

Woman Hospitalized To Remove Deer Tongue She Used To ‘Please’ Herself

A woman from Little Rock, Arkansas, is now recovering after a bizarre chain of events that led doctors to find the tongue of a deer lodged into her vagina.

Okay, there's usually a smidgen of truth behind stereotypes. In this case the woman is from Arkansas. That explains a lot. Left unstated is whether or not she lives in a trailer park.

The Arkansas woman, who’s name has not been released, went to her gynecologist... Her doctor performed a typical exam checking for several different issues... All tests were negative.

The doctor was not at all concerned about her complaints, until the results of the pap smear came back.

The report indicated that the cells taken from the pap smear, were not human. It could not determine the origin of the cells: all they knew was that they were not human cells.

That must have prompted some very interesting discussions between the lab techs and the doctor.

The doctor requested that the woman come back for a repeat exam, and to discuss the findings.

“During the exam, I was utterly shocked with what I had found. Never in my 33 years of practice have I seen anything like this,” Dr. Lee told the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology. “What I removed from the woman, looked like a long tongue, but certainly not a human tongue. Then, what she admitted to her husband after the exam, was even more disturbing.”

The woman finally confessed the dreaded details to her husband. After her husband’s recent hunting trip, he brought home a deer and gutted and dressed it in their garage. She admitted to seeing the tongue, admired its length, and had snuck off with it to use it as a pleasuring aid.

She didn’t remember leaving it up there.

I suspect alcohol was involved...

Random Observations - Elections, Dog, Marriage, And Christmas

Midterm Elections

Reflecting on the midterm election results, I can only ask myself where the hell were these voters in 2012?

Anyway, the dems have already started whining and finger-pointing.

Democrats dismayed with the loss of the Senate are pointing the finger squarely at President Obama.

In race after race across the country, vulnerable Democrats were unable to shed the shadow of a deeply unpopular White House.

Voters appeared eager to punish Obama after two years defined by crisis and mismanagement, and Republicans saw consistent success by labeling their opponents as potential rubber stamps for the president.

As the dust settled Tuesday night, top Democratic aides and strategists vented frustration with an administration they say could have done more to help the party out.

“It was President Obama dragging candidates down across the country,” one Senate Democratic aide said...

“It’s an inescapable fact that this election was more about Obama and frustration with his presidency than any other factor,” said one prominent Democratic strategist...

On the other hand:

Obama to Democratic hopefuls: It’s your fault

... administration officials shot back at liberal critics and argued that any candidate who blames Mr. Obama’s low approval ratings for electoral defeat should instead look in the mirror.

White House press secretary Josh Earnest specifically singled out Democratic gubernatorial candidates, some of whom the president has personally stumped for over the past few weeks.

“Ultimately, it’s the quality of these candidates that is going to be the driver of success in this election … the president was looking to be supportive of these Democratic candidates for governor. But ultimately, it is these governors or these candidates whose record is on the ballot,” Mr. Earnest said.

The White House also maintains that Tuesday’s elections — including races for governor, Senate and House — are not a true referendum on Mr. Obama’s record and should not be judged as such.

“The vast majority of voters are making a decision on election day based on the merits associated with the candidates at the top of the ballot,” Mr. Earnest said.

Progressives shot back that Mr. Obama failed to “define any agenda” for his party. They also went a step further by declaring Democrats need to remake the party in the “image” of populist hero Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Massachusetts Democrat, and urged the president to move to the left in the final two years of his tenure.

... liberal groups also say individual candidates are to blame, mainly because they didn’t embrace a populist message passionately enough, or did so too late.

Whine, whine, whine...

In any event,don't get too excited about the GOP gains. IMO we've just traded one set of crappy politicians for another...

Dog-Porcupine Update

Our dog is doing fine (backstory here). She's behaving normally (which is a mixed blessing). However, while petting her last night I felt something prickly around her muzzle. Closer examination revealed two small quills. After I pulled them out I took a closer look at the picture of her quill-studded face. I didn't see any in the area where I pulled those two, leading me to believe that they were in under the skin and just recently worked their way out. They didn't seem to be bothering her, but I just wonder if there are any more embedded in her. Hopefully not.


Wedded Bliss

I am happily married to a wonderful woman who is way too good for me. She is, however, not my first wife. When I saw yesterday's Hagar the Horrible comic strip I almost strangled myself trying to keep from laughing out loud. Let's just say it brought back memories.

Speaking of wedded bliss, I stumbled across this photo (location unknown). No further comment is necessary.

Holiday Season

I saw my first display of Christmas merchandise back on Oct. 11. But yesterday I saw my first display of holiday beer, which means the holiday season is well and truly upon us.

Cheers!

Sleep Deprived

It's been a long week so far, and it's only Wednesday.

Sunday we had the dog vs. porcupine contest (winner by a TKO - Peter Porcupine). I got to bed around 3:30 a.m.

I only got about three hours sleep Sunday night, because I had a 7:30 doctor's appointment Monday morning (no big deal - just a blood draw for a routine physical scheduled for next week).

Monday night we had some friends over for dinner. Fueled by a couple cups of coffee (I very rarely drink coffee after lunch), I enthusiastically joined in the after-dinner drinks and cigars ritual, which went on longer than planned (quelle surprise!). So I stayed up later than usual - again.

Meanwhile, while I was out of town on my elk hunting trip, our Honda dealer contacted my wife regarding the ongoing airbag recall.

What's the problem with the airbags, exactly? It has to do with the explosive devices in the metal airbag inflater. In the faulty airbags, those devices can burn more aggressively than they should, causing the inflater to burst and sending pieces of metal flying through the airbag fabric. This could potentially maim or kill the car's occupant.

Not wanting me to be maimed or killed, she and the dealer scheduled the recall work bright and early Tuesday morning. This meant I had to get up early (again!) and join the lemmings rushing towards the cliff big city where the dealer is located. I had the pleasure of reminding myself how nice it is to be retired and no longer have to deal with rush hour, highway construction, rude and ignorant drivers, and all the other joys of commuting.

The recall work was estimated to take about two hours. Of course, she had other plans that morning, so rather than drop the vehicle off and pick it up at our leisure, the plan was for me to hang out at the dealership, drink their lousy coffee, browse their collection of new and used cars, and generally amuse myself until the job was done.

Of course, the work took closer to four hours than two. On the plus side, the coffee was surprisingly good and the dealer provided fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And I did manage to get out of town before the homeward-bound rush hour began.

However, Tuesday night was our neighborhood monthly poker game. I'd already committed, and last-minute dropouts are strongly discouraged (if you commit and then don't show you provide the drinks next month). So Tuesday will be another stay-up-late night.

That's three nights in a row of staying up past my bedtime, coupled with two days of getting up way too early. I'm getting too old for this lifestyle.

Thankfully, nothing is scheduled for Wednesday morning. However, I do have something planned for Wednesday afternoon...

Zzzzzz.....

Cost Per Pound

We had another late-night dog adventure Sunday evening.

Our normal routine is to let the dogs out one last time before bedtime. That's usually around news time, but the switch from Daylight Savings Time screwed up their internal clocks. They wanted out an hour earlier than 'usual.' I opened the door and let them out without giving it a second thought.

A couple of minutes furious barking erupted. We life in a semi-rural setting, so that usually means they have something treed - a possum, a racoon, a feral cat, etc. Sighing, I pulled on my boots, grabbed a flashlight and their leashes, and went out to drag them back inside.

This time, however, something was different. They were circling in the tall grass about 100 yards from the house. That's bad news. It means they've stumbled across a snake, a skunk, an armadillo, or a porcupine.

In this case it was the latter.

Fortunately, only one of the dogs got quilled this time. Last time it was both of them.

Regardless, it still meant a one-hour (one way) trip to the doggie ER in San Antonio. In a repeat of our last visit, the dog was anesthetized, the quills removed, and various medications administered. Since this is a fairly time-consuming process, we went home and tried to stay awake for the 'come get her' call.

That call came at 1:30 a.m. Being a gentleman (and not being a fool), I let my wife sleep on while I went to get the mutt - which means I got to bed around 3:30 a.m.

Combine that with the time change and I was one tired puppy all day Monday.

Not to mention a lot poorer. Emergency trips to the vet ain't cheap.

Since moving here 13 years ago we've had to take one Lab in to get her nose stapled back together after tangling with a coon, one of our current dogs to the canine orthopedic surgeon to get her ACL repaired after she tore it chasing a deer (here and here), and now two quill removal trips within the past 18 months.

Sigh...

This cartoon sums it up pretty well.

FOD 2014.11.03 - Election Edition

I've done my civic duty and voted (here in Texas early voting took place Oct. 20-31). I consider myself a cross between a conservative and a libertarian (small "l" intended). I really don't worry too much about what one or more consenting adults do to themselves or each other, as long as it doesn't directly and demonstratively affect anyone else. But I do have strong feelings about fiscal issues and national security. In a number of races that resulted in a few conflicts and tradeoffs when deciding between republican and libertarian candidates.

Although I won't name names, I will tell you that I voted for the person I felt best suited for each particular office. The outcomes was a mix of republicans, libertarians, and yes, even a democrat or two (mostly on local down-ballot races).

I'm certainly not going to tell you who to vote for. But I suggest that you read the following, and think long and hard about the part I've bolded.

In the New York Times the other day, anonymous aides to President Obama trashed Secretary of State John Kerry and Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel. Kerry was mocked mercilessly, with officials joking “that he is like the astronaut played by Sandra Bullock in the movie ‘Gravity,’ somersaulting through space, untethered to the White House.”

A week before that, The Times reported that, despite Obama’s public efforts to calm fears over Ebola, he was privately seething at health aides’ bungling. In a bid to separate him from the incompetence of his administration, the leakers claimed Obama was “visibly angry” and “demanded a more hands-on approach” from his team.

Then there was the story about Pentagon boss Hagel firing off a memo to national security chief Susan Rice that faulted America’s Syrian policy. Then there was a story about — oh, never mind, you get the picture.

The extraordinary pile-up of crises has turned the usual White House blame game into something more lethal: a shootout in a lifeboat. The presidency is sinking, but we are expected to believe that only the president is blameless.

It won’t wash. The problems cannot be fixed by firing one or two members of the president’s team, or all of them. Something else, something more fundamental, is happening.

We are witnessing the total collapse of a bad idea. Obamaism, a quasi-socialist commitment to a more powerful government at home and an abdication of American leadership around the world, is being exposed as a historic calamity. It is fueling domestic fear and global disorder and may well lead to a world war.

If there is a smidgen of a silver lining, it is that the unraveling, complete with Obama’s shameless attempts to duck responsibility, is playing out on the eve of the midterm elections. Fortunately, voters seem ready to respond by giving Republicans control of both houses of congress.

I second that emotion, and not just because Obama is a failure. For all his narcissism, he didn’t make this mess alone.

He was aided and abetted by every Democrat in Congress. They marched in lockstep with his cockamamie policies, from ObamaCare to open borders. They protected corrupt leaders in numerous federal agencies, from the IRS to the Genera Services Administration. They stymied efforts to find the truth about Benghazi and the Fast and Furious gunrunning debacle.

They ceded their constitutional obligations and allowed Obama to crash the system of checks and balances. The vast majority stood silent while he gutted the military and abandoned our allies, including Israel, Egypt and Saudi Arabia, and courted Iran, the most menacing nation on earth.

With painfully few exceptions, Democrats put their loyalty to him above their duty to America.

And now they must be punished. All of them.

Normally, I am not a partisan advocate. I am a registered Democrat, though I vote as an independent.

Not this year. This is a national emergency and the only responsible action is to vote Republican for every federal office.

Sparing even a favorite Democrat or two could allow Obama to spin defeat as a minor loss. Most worrisome, if Dems keep the Senate, the election will further entrench a corrupt government and further erode America’s strength and influence.

That is not a chance worth taking. Six years is enough. Collective punishment is the appropriate answer.

If there were any doubts the Obama Democrats cannot be trusted, look at their scurrilous campaigns. From coast to coast, their message is uniformly odious: Republicans are waging a “war on women” and they are racists.

That’s it. They can’t defend the legislation they passed, the economy they produced or the foreign policy they supported. Most don’t want to be seen with Obama, yet they take the money he raises and follow his lead in exploiting race and gender fault lines.

Scraping the bottom of the rancid barrel, they prove they will do anything to hold on to power. They cannot be allowed to succeed.

It is time for them to go.

Sunday Funnies 2014.11.02

Election Day is this Tuesday. Please make sure you vote.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.

"A new study estimates that only 3.4 percent of Americans will vote in the midterm elections next month. But on the bright side, 100 percent will still complain about the results." –Jimmy Fallon

"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"

While I was on my recent elk hunting trip in Wyoming I came up with what I thought was a great scheme to get free drinks. Since Wyoming is pretty conservative I decided I would walk into a bar and insult the democrats. So I strolled into a local watering hole and shouted "All democrats are horses assess!"

To my great shock the patrons threw me out of the bar.

I figured that I had just misread the local politics, so I marched right back into that bar shouting "All republicans are horses assess!"

A moment later I found myself out on the pavement again.

A cowboy was walking by, so I said to him, "I can't figure it out. Is this democrat country or republican country?"

"Son," says the cowboy, "this here is horse country!"

While I fully intend to vote, and hope you all do as well, I'm not too thrilled by the choices...

And here's the last word in election humor:

World War I And Breasts

Now that I have your attention, you're probably wondering what WWI and fun bags ta-tas breasts have in common. Here's the answer.

Women today breathe a little easier — thanks to a World War I metal shortage.

Before then, women squeezed themselves into corsets that molded their figures to fit the Victorian ideal: a voluptuous bosom atop a teensy waist. But since corset frames were mostly made of metal, which was needed for ammunition and other military supplies, in 1917 the U.S. War Industries Board asked American women to stop buying them.

Thank goodness for red-blooded American patriotic women!

The backstory:

The first-ever bra most likely dates back to ancient Greece, when women wrapped a band of wool or linen across their breasts, pinning or tying them in the back. Corsets didn’t show up until around 1500 and quickly became mandatory for middle and upper class women in Western society...

Caresse Crosby patented the first modern bra in the U.S. in 1910. While primping for a debutante ball, she donned a stiff corset and tight corset cover beneath her sheer evening gown. But the corset cover — which she described as “a boxlike armour of whalebone and pink cordage” — poked through her gown. “Bring me two of my pocket handkerchiefs and some pink ribbon,” she told her maid, who helped her sew the materials into a simple brassiere.

Crosby’s invention was the talk of the party; other girls crowded around, asking how she danced so freely. When she unveiled her creation, they immediately asked her to sew bras for them, too. When strangers offered a dollar for one of her bras, she decided to start a business and patented her “backless brassiere” in 1914. She managed to attract a few orders from department stores, but her startup fizzled. At her husband’s insistence, Crosby sold her patent to the Warner Brothers Corset Company in Connecticut for $1,500...

Thereby foregoing an uplifting multimillion dollar reutrn on her investment.  That's what she gets for listening to her husband.

Meanwhile, back at 'the War to End All Wars,' the War Industries Board’s corset ban freed women to work at physically demanding factory jobs, and saved an estimated 28,000 tons of steel, enough to build two battleships.

That's a lot of metal. As a mental exercise, the interested reader is encouraged to calculate the weight of breasts freed from the confines of those 28,000 tons of steel. I don't know the exact number, but it has to be a staggering amount.

By the time the war ended in 1918, corsets were fading fast, and following World War II and another severe metal shortage, American busts were free at last.

Except for bras, that is, which quickly replaced the corset. At first, they were one size fits all, fashioned from stretchable material. Some historians credit William and Ida Rosenthal, founders of Maidenform, with introducing the A-, B-, C- and D-cup system in the late 1920s or early ’30s, while others claim it was S.H. Camp and Company. Regardless of who slapped letters on women’s chests, the system caught on with other bra manufacturers.

As fashions evolved, so too did the humble bra. When the androgynous flapper look came into vogue in the Roaring Twenties, so-called bandeau bras — which flattened the breasts — became the popular choice. In the 1930s, the bra industry took off, thanks to the adjustable elastic strap, padded cups and other innovations. Frederick Mellinger, founder of Frederick’s of Hollywood, was the genius behind the front hook bra and the “Rising Star” — today’s push-up bra. Nearly three decades later, childhood friends Lisa Lindahl, Hinda Miller and costume designer Polly Smith created the Jogbra, the first sports bra that was originally made out of two jock straps.

The things you can learn from the Internet. I never would have guessed that the sports bra was the child of a pair of jockstraps  - and I don't even want to speculate on the size and shape of the breasts that fit those jockstraps.

Today, nearly 95 percent of women in Western countries wear bras, which translates to a billion-dollar industry dominated by Victoria’s Secret and corporations like Hanes. Designers are now challenged to satisfy the demand for minimal bras that accommodate plunging necklines and increasing bust sizes. (In the past decade, the most common size in the U.K. jumped from 34B to 36C.)

From this...

... to this. Ain't progress wonderful?

Thus endth today's history lesson.

You're welcome.

As for the future of the bra:

Is the bra destined to meet the same fate as the corset? Danish fashion historian Rudolf Kristian Albert Broby-Johansen certainly thinks so. He predicted the bra’s demise as far back as 1969 in his article “Obituary for the Bra.” And then there’s the recent #FreeTheNipple movement, committed to fighting the stigma against human nipples that’s credited with helping launch the TaTa Top, a nude-colored bikini top painted with two nipples.

Perhaps the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder may soon be … just plain over.

Speaking of over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders, here's a hilarious musical tale of how the modern female foundation garment came to be. It's only three minutes long, and well worth your time.