Oh Deer

In all my years of deer hunting - heck, in all my years, period - I've never heard of anything remotely this bizarre.

Woman Hospitalized To Remove Deer Tongue She Used To ‘Please’ Herself

A woman from Little Rock, Arkansas, is now recovering after a bizarre chain of events that led doctors to find the tongue of a deer lodged into her vagina.

Okay, there's usually a smidgen of truth behind stereotypes. In this case the woman is from Arkansas. That explains a lot. Left unstated is whether or not she lives in a trailer park.

The Arkansas woman, who’s name has not been released, went to her gynecologist... Her doctor performed a typical exam checking for several different issues... All tests were negative.

The doctor was not at all concerned about her complaints, until the results of the pap smear came back.

The report indicated that the cells taken from the pap smear, were not human. It could not determine the origin of the cells: all they knew was that they were not human cells.

That must have prompted some very interesting discussions between the lab techs and the doctor.

The doctor requested that the woman come back for a repeat exam, and to discuss the findings.

“During the exam, I was utterly shocked with what I had found. Never in my 33 years of practice have I seen anything like this,” Dr. Lee told the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology. “What I removed from the woman, looked like a long tongue, but certainly not a human tongue. Then, what she admitted to her husband after the exam, was even more disturbing.”

The woman finally confessed the dreaded details to her husband. After her husband’s recent hunting trip, he brought home a deer and gutted and dressed it in their garage. She admitted to seeing the tongue, admired its length, and had snuck off with it to use it as a pleasuring aid.

She didn’t remember leaving it up there.

I suspect alcohol was involved...