Sunday, November 30, 2014

Sunday Funnies 2014.11.30

Thanksgiving was a few days ago. We're still eating the leftovers...

“Oh no! not leftovers again!” complained our daughter when she saw the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving on the table .

“Young lady” I responded sternly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious supper like this?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now before we start eating I want to hear you say grace thanking the Lord for this delicious meal!”

“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper”, she muttered, “….again!”

Speaking of our daughter, she warned us to expect the grades on her next round of exams to be lower.

When I asked why, she replied," Because everything is marked down after Thanksgiving."

It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards.

Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

After the very first Thanksgiving in the Garden of Eden, the Lord had a couple of leftovers in his bag of creations, so He stopped by to visit Adam and Eve.

He told the couple that one of the things He had to give away was the ability to urinate while standing up. "It can be very handy," God explained to Adam and Eve. "Would either of you like that ability?"

Adam popped a cork. He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! It seems the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please, Lord, let me have that ability. I would be forever grateful."

Eve just smiled and shook her head at Adam's display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, then she really wouldn't mind if he were the one given the ability to urinate while standing up.

And so, the Lord gave Adam the ability to urinate while standing up. Then, He looked back into His bag of leftover gifts. "Now, what have we here? Oh, yes, multiple orgasms..."

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