Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Problem With Lawyers...

"The law is an ass."

Charles Dickens popularized this saying, meaning that application of the law at times runs contrary to common sense. After coming across the following three stories, I fully agree with him.

Teen Sues Parents for Cash, College Tuition  (H/T Harper)
A New Jersey teenager claiming that her mother and father tossed her out of their home and cut her off financially is suing them for immediate support, current private-school fees and future college tuition. The parents, meanwhile, say that daughter Rachel Canning, 18, moved out voluntarily after refusing to abide by their rules.

“We love our child and miss her. This is terrible. It’s killing me and my wife,” Rachel's father, Sean Canning, a town administrator and retired police officer, tells the Daily Record. “We have a child we want home. We’re not Draconian and now we’re getting hauled into court. She’s demanding that we pay her bills but she doesn’t want to live at home, and she’s saying, ‘I don’t want to live under your rules.’” The rules, he notes, include reconsidering her relationship with a boyfriend who may be a bad influence, being respectful, and abiding by her curfew.

A Pimp Is Suing Nike for Not Warning That His Shoes Could Be Used as Weapons  (H/T Me)
A Portland pimp named Sirgiorgiro Clardy wants a $100 million settlement from Nike because he claims that not warning people that their shoes could be used as a deadly weapon constitutes negligence. 26-year-old Clardy is serving a 100-year prison term for kicking the shit out of a john who tried to get out of paying, then robbing him and leaving him for dead at the 6th Avenue Motel just outside downtown Portland...

Man sues McDonald's for $1.5 million after being given only one napkin
(Plantiff Webster) Lucas says he ordered a Quarter Pounder Deluxe at the Pacoima, Calif., eatery on Jan. 29.

But on opening up his paper bag, he found just one paper tissue. He alleges that when he returned to the counter to ask for more, managers refused.

Lucas alleges the debate took a racist turn when the Mexican-American boss mumbled something about "you people" — which Lucas took to be a reference to him being black.

An offer to receive free burgers as an apology was an insult, he added.

He now wants a fat payoff from the chain ... because the incident, Lucas claims, caused him "undue mental anguish."
Good ol' Willie Shakespeare had one of his characters say "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

Even Jesus got into the act:
Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne. (Luke 11.46)
To which I can only add a heartfelt "Amen!"

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