Sunday Funnies 2013.02.17

I had a flat tire last week (more on that later). So today's topic is, not surprisingly, flat tires.

 * * * * * 

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

 * * * * * 

A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap. While he does so, the woman opens the limo's bar, pours herself a glass of orange juice, and adds a couple fingers of vodka.

She takes a few sips, then glances out the window and notices that the poor chauffer is having a difficult time changing the tire. She takes pity on him and decides to offer him a drink.

"You wanna screwdriver?" she asks.

The driver replied "Hell, we might as well. I can’t get this freaking hubcap off.”

 * * * * * 

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the freeway.

She eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The life-like cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before the police arrive.

An officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

"Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer.

"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

 * * * * * 

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2013.02.15

A fitting follow-up to Valentine's Day.

We've all got one in our past. Good ol' what's-her-name...

The Story Behind Valentine's Day

Valentinus was a Roman priest during the reign of Emperor Claudius the second. At that time, Christians were persecuted for their faith by the Romans. Valentinus taught that marriage was a sacred compact between one man and one woman, which was contrary to Roman practice of the time.

Valentinus performed Christian marriages in secret, contrary to the command of Claudius. He was caught, imprisoned, tortured and sentenced to death. The story goes that he wrote a farewell note to a young girl and signed it "From your Valentine."

It seems only fitting that today's version of Valentine's Day is derived from a man being imprisoned, tortured, and executed.

Other VD (ha!) tidbits:

During the Middle Ages it was thought that February 14 was the beginning of the mating season for birds.

The oldest known valentine still in existence today is a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.

By the middle of the 18th Century it was common to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes.

Today Valentine's Day is the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas.

In honor of Valentine's Day, here's some images that might help explain why I'm on my third wife.

The Stupid, It Hurts

This falls under the heading of foreseeable consequences.

At least it was foreseeable for anyone with a basic understanding of economics, which rules out most liberals.

California facing doctor shortage amid Obamacare implementation

California, the state that first attempted to implement President Barack Obama’s health care overhaul, has realized there aren’t enough doctors to care for the large influx of newly insured patients.

No shit. Increasing demand without a corresponding increase in supply results in shortages. Eco 101...

The Los Angeles Times reports that only 16 of the state’s 58 counties meet the federal government’s recommended standard of primary care physicians, and almost 30 percent of California’s doctors are close to the retirement age — the highest percentage nationwide.

“We’re going to be mandating that every single person in this state have insurance,” Democratic state Sen. Ed Hernandez told the Los Angeles Times. “What good is it if they are going to have a health insurance card, but no access to doctors?”

Why didn't you ask that question BEFORE the law was passed, you ignorant asshole?

Hernandez has led an effort in the state legislature to expand the definition of who can provide health care services to patients. Lawmakers have proposed allowing physician assistants to treat more patients and permitting nurse practitioners to have independent practices.

Also, pharmacists and optometrists could become primary care providers and be allowed to treat some chronic illnesses.

Oh, that's a great solution. Instead of increasing the supply of qualified healthcare providers, let's just lower the standards. After all, that approach has worked so well in our public school systems.

I apologize for the profanity. But to borrow my father's favorite phrase, it just torques my jaws when something that is blindingly obvious is flat-out ignored by those buffoons in congress while they've got their heads up their asses playing politics.

Friggin' idiots...

Fair And Balanced - Really!

If you came here expecting a review and commentary on obama's SOTU address last night, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I had better things to do than watch that SCOAMF bloviate his way through some convoluted version of his stock campaign speech. I was busy guzzling massive quantities of Shiner in honor of Chris Kyle and Chad Littlefield (go to GGDF or Passed Up Strange for some awesome visuals of the ceremony in Dallas).

Anyway, the topic of today's post is a kerfuffle between a couple of what are supposed to be well-known websites. I'm not a very well-informed netizen. I'm often blissfully unaware of websites that political junkies and others with too much time on their hands flock to. For example, I've vaguely heard of something called Buzzfeed, but never knew who it was or what it did.

For the uninitiated:

BuzzFeed is a website that combines a technology platform for detecting viral content with an editorial selection process to provide a snapshot of "the viral web in realtime."

Huh?

Anyway...

Cofounded in 2006 by Jonah Peretti (who is also cofounder of The Huffington Post), BuzzFeed is located in Manhattan, New York in the Flatiron District.

Given that pedigree, I assumed that BuzzFeed was another outlet for babbling liberals. So when I stumbled across a story about some little catfight between some guy I never heard of (Josh Marshall) from some website I never heard of (Talking Points Memo) and another guy I never heard of (Ben Smith) from some site I'd vaguely heard of (the afore-mentioned BuzzFeed) I was like "Meh. Whatever..."

Then I clicked on the link that spawned all the fuss.

It's actually a balanced piece that points out the hypocrisy of the left in supporting -- or at least staying mum about -- actions taken by obama that would have generated howls of outrage if Bush had done them.

Not only is it balanced, but it's clever and well-done.

CentexTim says "Check it out..."

Breaking News - LOL!

From the comments at an updated Gateway Pundit post reporting that CA dirtbag Chris Dorner is dead (unconfirmed):

Tough call for the networks tonight. Decisions, decisions . . . . . .

Either they cover the story of an angry, ultra-paranoid, narcissistic, evil, black man intent on getting people killed and spreading hatred and anger, or they cover the Dorner story?

ROTFLMAO!!!

A Little Late

This is a little late for obama's SOTU address, but you can hang onto them and use them during future speeches.

(Source)

The Real State Of The Union

That empty suit masquerading as the leader of the free world is going to waste everyone's time tonight delivering another campaign speech his State of the Union address. I assume it will consist of the usual:

• raise taxes on the evil rich
• open the borders to hordes of future democrats illegal aliens
• gut the Second Amendment
• muslims are our friends
• obamacare is an unparalleled success
• conservatives are obstructionist and divisive

I'm sure there's something I've left out (probably dealing with the republicans' war on women and minorities) but that should be the gist of it.

Marcoo Rubio is scheduled to deliver the republican response, but it will get scant coverage, and what little it does receive will fall under the "criticize and ridicule" heading.

So I thought I'd beat everyone to the punch and provide my State of the Union assessment.

Foreign Policy

The Middle East is in chaos. The Arab Spring has deteriorated into an ungodly (ha!) mess.

• Rioting and civil wars in Egypt, Syria, and Lebanon.
• Embassies and consulates attacked in Ankara (Turkey), Tripoli, and Benghazi.
• American citizens in the region kidnapped and killed (including, of course, the U.S. Ambassador to Libya).

Unstable and despotic lunatics in Iran and North Korea have gained access (or are very close) to nuclear weapons and delivery systems.

China basically holds an IOU for our entire country.

National Security

Looming sequestration will decimate our military.

Unrestricted drone strikes against American citizens are now apparently legal.

Domestically

The (reported) unemployment rate persistently hovers around 8%. The real unemployment rate, which includes those who have given up looking for work, is closer to 15%.

The poverty rate has spiked to 16%. 50 million Americans now officially live in poverty

100 million Americans -- roughly one third of our population -- now receive some form of government assistance.

obamacare is shaping up to be an absolute disaster.

Both the deficit and the national debt are spiraling out of control.

The obama administration is doing its best to strip law-abiding Americans of their Constitutional right to keep and bear arms while at the same time running guns to narcoterrorists (anyone remember Operation Fast and Furious?).

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

So to sum it all up, in my opinion the State of the Union is totally fucked up.

Protect And Serve Vs. Duck And Cover

Generally speaking, I'm a law-and-order kind of guy. Law enforcement officers fill a necessary role in society, maintaining law and order (theoretically, at least). It's a thankless job. But at times it seems as if they go out of their way to make it harder on themselves than it needs to be. Case in point: while searching for that whacko who is targeting cops, LEOs are turning Southern California into a free-fire zone.

David Perdue was on his way to sneak in some surfing before work Thursday morning when police flagged him down. They asked who he was and where he was headed, then sent him on his way.

Seconds later, Perdue's attorney said, a Torrance police cruiser slammed into his pickup and officers opened fire; none of the bullets struck Perdue.

His pickup, police later explained, matched the description of the one belonging to Christopher Jordan Dorner — the ex-cop who has evaded authorities after allegedly killing three and wounding two more. But the pickups were different makes and colors. And Perdue looks nothing like Dorner: He's several inches shorter and about a hundred pounds lighter. And Perdue is white; Dorner is black...

A department spokesman said Saturday that the shooting is still under investigation. In a statement to The Times, the department said: "The circumstances of the incident known to the responding officers would have led a reasonable officer under normal circumstances — and these were far from normal circumstances — to believe that fellow officers were being shot at and that the vehicle traveling toward them posed a serious risk.

Let's review.

The truck was the wrong color.

The driver was the wrong color.

The truck and driver had, seconds earlier, been cleared by fellow officers.

And still a barrage of fire was unleashed upon the wrong-colored truck and the wrong-colored driver.

Thank goodness the cops out there are such poor shots.

Although the driver was injured in the resulting crash, at least he wasn't shot - unlike a pair of women whose only crime was delivering newspapers.

The incident involving Perdue was the second time police looking for the fugitive former LAPD officer opened fire on someone else...

In the first incident, LAPD officers opened fire on another pickup they feared was being driven by Dorner. The mother and daughter inside the truck were delivering Los Angeles Times newspapers. The older woman was shot twice in the back and the other was wounded by broken glass.

Two women instead of one man. Shot in the back...

They need to work on that "Protect and Serve" thing.

Border News

Drove down to my home away from home today for the work week. I was greeted by this.

The U.S. Consulate office in Nuevo Laredo is warning Americans about a recent spike in violence in the Mexican border city.

"Grenade detonations and gunfire occurred behind Crowne Plaza and Leandro Valle at 7:20 p.m.,” the Consulate said via Twitter. "Avoid area and maintain a low profile."

It’s the latest clash between the Gulf Cartel and Zetas for control of the lucrative smuggling route to the I-35 Corridor.

At least seven people were killed in the recent week, including three U.S. citizens who live in the border area, according to officials. There are also reports of torched homes.

News about the violence is limited in Nuevo Laredo, where local media has been threatened into silence. Cartels have killed journalists who report on incidents, shoot video or photos at crime scenes.

That last paragraph is the most telling. Violence across the border is severely under-reported. Even truly outrageous events, such as bodies hanging from the bridge linking Texas and Mexico, barely make a ripple. It's gotten so bad that the cartels are searching out and killing people who comment about the violence on social media.

America has its share of problems. But at least we're not ruled by merciless thugs who are only concerned with seizing and maintaining power without regard to the law of the land.

Not that the democrats aren't trying...

FOD 2013.02.11

The obama administration's failure to protect Americans during the Benghazi debacle is bad enough. The subsequent lying and ongoing coverup is worse. The media's full-fledged acquiescence is despicable. The entire sordid affair is stomach-turning.

I don't feel the need to restate what others have said about the putrid mess. For that you can go here, here and here. Excerpts:

Dereliction of Duty: Obama Did Nothing to Save American Lives in Benghazi--and Lied About It

Nothing. That is what President Barack Obama did on the night of September 11, 2012, as terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi and killed four Americans, among them Ambassador Christopher Stevens. President Obama’s inaction was revealed in testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Thursday by outgoing Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta and Joint Chiefs of Staff General Martin Dempsey.

. . .

In sum: President Obama did nothing to save Americans under attack from terrorists. His Secretary of Defense did nothing. His Secretary of State did nothing. The Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff did nothing. His Deputy National Security Adviser defended doing “nothing” to help bring the perpetrators to justice. And the entire administration participated in an effort to cover up the truth. Because there was an election to be won.

Nobody Wake Barack

The Benghazi terrorist attack was a debacle in three distinct stages. The fatal mistakes occurred in the first two — the failure to provide adequate security before the attack and the failure to provide help once it started. Those mistakes were tragic, but the Obama administration’s explanations are coherent, though hardly defensible.

The mystery always has been the third stage — the aftermath, or more accurately, the coverup. Even before the bodies of the four Americans came home, the White House was eager to tell any story except the real one.

Finally, we have the answer, thanks to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta. In his reluctant Senate testimony, he provided the missing piece of the puzzle: The commander in chief was MIA. The coverup was created to protect his absence.

According to Panetta, President Obama checked in with his military team early on during the attack, then checked out for the rest of the night. The next day, we already knew, he blamed the video maker and flew to Las Vegas for a campaign event.

Meanwhile, half a world away, Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans had been slaughtered by Islamists. Their murders on the 11th anniversary of 9/11 gave the incident extra gravity and led the White House to conceal the facts. An honest chronology would have revealed the president’s shocking behavior during the most successful attack against Americans by foreigners since 9/11.

Had he been a military officer, he would face charges. If he were George Bush, he would face ridicule and condemnation, at the least.

But this is Barack Obama, the president who went missing during a terrorist attack against America and escapes without a scratch.

If you're an analytical type (and even if you're not) here's an extremely well-done timeline showing what was happening in Libya, and what our commander-in-chief (it sickens me to use that term in conjunction with obama) and his minions were doing at the same time. The part that really disgusts me is the block beginning at 09/12/2012 18:50 - "Obama arrives in Las Vegas for fundraiser."

At that point the bodies were still warm...

(Source)

Beating a dead horse, I know, but if this had occurred on Bush's watch the howls of outrage and demands for impeachment would be deafening.

Disgust does not begin to describe how I feel about a miserable cold-blooded weasel who condemns American citizens to death and then attempts to turn that tragedy into a political advantage.

I hope and pray that obama and everyone else who participated in this sham get what they deserve - if not in this life, then in the next one...

Sunday Funnies 2013.02.10

Valentine's Day is just a few days away.

Men - duck and cover!

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or giving her helpful suggestions as she loads the dishwasher.

Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.

I was talking with a friend at work the other day. He asked me whether I'd bought my wife anything for Valentine's Day.

"Yes," I replied, "I've bought her a belt and a bag."

"That was very thoughtful of you," my friend said. "I hope she appreciates them."

I smiled and replied, "So do I. The vacuum cleaner should work much better now."

A few years ago I wandered into a bar on February 14. After staring for some time at the only woman seated there, I walked up to her and gave her kiss in honor of Valentine's Day.

She jumped up and slapped me really hard. I immediately apologized and explained, "Look, I'm sorry, but you reminded me of my ex-wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed at the top of her voice.

 "Funny," I muttered, shaking my head, "you even sound exactly like her."

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A: Hogs and kisses.

Q: What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
A: Ughs and kisses.

Watt's Up With The City Of Lights?

Paris, long known as the City of Lights, is on its way to becoming the City of Darkness.

Paris is famous for its bright lights, but French President Francois Hollande and his energy minister plan to extinguish the city’s trademark glow during overnight hours, in an effort to save money and energy -- putting many business owners and tourists in a dark mood.

According to a recent Bloomberg.com report, by summer of 2013, tourists looking to stroll down the renowned Champs Elysees will need a flashlight between the hours of 1 a.m. and 7 a.m.

French energy and environment minister Delphine Batho said the proposal to turn out the lights in and outside public buildings, offices and shops will apply to all French cities, villages, and towns. The purpose is to save energy and money, and show “sobriety,” Batho said.

Sobriety? In Paris? That makes as much sense as linking sobriety and New Orleans.

The move is part of efforts to boost France's energy efficiency by 20 percent by 2020. The plan’s first phase took effect last July, forcing stores and businesses to turn off neon lights highlighting their names, between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m.

Critics say a dark Paris will encourage residents to stay home and tourists to go to bed earlier, hurting businesses...

Shop owners also argue that bright lights welcome visitors and instill a sense of security on the city streets. Many of the country’s 650,000 merchants oppose the idea, suggesting the government is threatening their livelihoods.

Unemployment is at a 14-year high in France and the economy has not grown much in the past year.

Sound familiar? This is what happens when feel-good regulation is substituted for sound economic policies.

There are supporters of the plan, including the country’s Green party and several environmental activist groups.

Perhaps Paris should relocate to California. Sounds like a match made in Heaven.

For the last word on this latest French foolishness, let's bring in the late, great Dandy Don Meridith.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2013.02.08

There's a lot of truth in C&W music lyrics. To wit:

"The more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine..."

Word.

Take Your Blood Pressure Medicine Before Reading This

News reports indicate that Illinois democrat congresscritter Jesse Jackson Jr., son of race pimp and adulterer JJ Sr., is facing prison time and may be ready to sign off on a plea agreement. Jackson is facing charges involving misuse of campaign funds. But there's a catch.

Before signing a plea deal, Jackson Jr. insisted on receiving a disability package from congress.

Criminal Democrat Jesse Jackson Jr. to Receive Disability Pay From Congress  (H/T JWF for the story)

Before handing in his letter of resignation and giving up his seat in the 2nd District, Jackson applied for his disability package. That was done in mid-October, after Jesse Jackson Jr. checked out of the Mayo Clinic where he was being treated for bi-polar disorder.

Sources say the former congressman received that approval letter in November just days before giving up the congressional seat he'd held since 1995.

So after stealing taxpayer money taking up space in congress for almost two decades, JJ Jr. stole money from his supporters. When he got caught he got all depressed and weepy. And now he expects us -- the taxpayers - to continue to support him because he's depressed?

GMAFB!!!

BTW - Following in the footsteps of dear old dad, JJ Jr. also had an affair.

Like father, like son...

California Potpourri

Texas governor Rick Perry has mounted a campaign to persuade California businesses to move to Texas.

“...zero state income tax, low overall tax burden, sensible regulations and fair legal system.”

CA governor Jerry Brown responded by saying “Everybody with half a brain is coming to California."

He's right. Everyone with half a brain is going to CA. But everyone with a whole brain is choosing Texas.

Feel free to use that line, Rick.

And speaking of California, the whack job currently running around out there targeting cops is a great admirer of leftist icons.

(The suspect) not only endorses Hillary Clinton for president in 2016 and vigorously defends Barack Obama and the Democrats' current gun control push, he also savages the NRA's Wayne LaPierre and expresses all kinds of unabiding  for some of the biggest stars in the left-wing media -- by name.

"Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Pat Harvey, Brian Williams, Soledad Obrien, Wolf Blitzer, Meredith Viera, Tavis Smiley, and Anderson Cooper, keep up the great work and follow Cronkite's lead. I hold many of you in the same regard as Tom Brokaw and the late Peter Jennings. …"

I can only imagine the media's glee if that loser endorsed conservative figures with the same vigor.

And speaking of the media, while I understand that this is a newsworthy event, I don't get why it is deserving of wall-to-wall around the clock coverage. I particularly don't understand the publicity given to his manifesto. Won't that just encourage a rash of copy-cats eager to get their 15 minutes of fame? There's been more written and said about this in the last 24 hours than about the recent revelations disclosing the 'unexpected' (HA!) negative impacts of obamacare on workers, the healthcare industry, and the economy.

The latest report from the Congressional Budget Office highlights a number of reasons why the CBO is concerned about the implementation of Obamacare. It boils down to this: Obamacare is going to be more expensive than the Obama administration thought, disrupt the marketplace more than they thought, and be tougher to implement than they thought.

Which will have the most profound long-term implications for this country - a lunatic whose criminal rampage will soon fade from public consciousness, or the government takeover of a major segment of our economy and society?

Brings to mind the bread and circuses of ancient Rome...

People Unclear On The Concept

Should be self-explanatory. If not, you're unclear on the concept...

Our Public School System Is Broken - Part 3

I'm getting as tired of posting about this nonsense as you are of reading it, so this will be the last one for a while - I hope.

Cops bust 10-year-old for bringing toy gun to school

A 10-year-old Alexandria (VA) boy was arrested after police said he brought a toy handgun to school on Tuesday, a day after he showed it to others on a school bus.

ARRESTED? The kid now has a criminal record - for taking a toy gun to school? Have they lost what little is left of the minds they have?

The boy, a fifth-grader at Douglas MacArthur Elementary School whose name is not being released, was charged as a juvenile with brandishing a weapon, police said.

A weapon? Again, IT WAS A TOY!

He was also suspended from school, and Alexandria City Public Schools Superintendent Morton Sherman said further action is being considered, including expulsion.

Oh hell. Why not just execute him and get it over with.

...authorities found the toy in his backpack. He was taken into custody, transported to a juvenile detention center for booking and then released to his parents...

The toy resembled a semi-automatic handgun, said police spokesman Jody Donaldson. It was silver and had a black handle. It also had a orange tip that went into the barrel, showing that no ammunition was coming out of it.

...some people said police and school administrators overreacted.

Well, at least there are a few people left with a smattering of common sense.

"A toy gun is no danger to anyone," said Liane Rozzell, executive director of Families & Allies of Virginia's Youth. "A 10-year-old is not a fully formed adult by any means. And that kind of situation should be dealt with outside the courts and the justice system."

Robin Ficker, a Bethesda attorney who represented a 6-year-old Montgomery County student who was suspended last month for pointing his finger and saying "pow," said the schools have become terror-stricken.

"That just shows a certain hysteria with the school administration."

Hysteria is the right word. Is there no end to this madness?

BTW, since kids making guns with their fingers are now being suspended, expelled, and arrested, maybe the following should be grounds for impeachment.

Life Out Of Town

I work several days a week in a town about 200 miles away from home. I have a small aprtment down here where I stay. It's not a bad place, and most of the time it's pretty trouble-free. But not yesterday.

I put a full load of clothes in the washing machine yesterday morning. It huffed and puffed through the wash cycle, but when it came time for the water to drain out to begin the rinse cycle the poor old washer emitted a resounding "CLUNK" and groaned to a halt. I was left with a tub full of soapy water and wet clothes. The maintenance people can't get to it until tomorrow, so I have a bathtub full of sopping clothes and a washing machine full of stagnant soapy water. I'm leaving town later today to go home for the weekend. Hopefully the washing machine will be repaired and my clothes won't be all mildewed by the time I get back here next week.

In the meantime, I've got shirts draped over the towel racks and shower rod. Also, because of the washing machine breakdown I have no more clean underwear down here. Had to make a WalMart run and restock.

On the bright side, I can watch whatever I want on TV, eat and drink whatever I want, and wander around in my underwear burping, farting, and scratching. So it's not all bad...

Our Public School System Is Broken - Part 2

A little while back I posted something about recent incidents in our public schools that make me question the wisdom -- nay, the sanity -- of the people in charge of educating our children. Here's a few more examples.

7-Year-Old Handcuffed Over $5

The family of a 7-year-old New York boy is suing police and the city for $250 million, saying cops handcuffed and interrogated the boy for ten hours after a scuffle over lunch money at school.

Wilson Reyes, a student at Public School 114 in the Bronx reportedly got into a fight with a fellow student in December after he was accused of taking $5 of lunch money that had fallen on the ground in front of him. Responding to a complaint of assault and robbery, the police were called and took the boy to the local police precinct where officers allegedly handcuffed and interrogated him for ten hours, according to the lawsuit.

 I don't know which entity behaved the dumbest - the school for calling the cops over a playground scuffle, or the cops for cuffing the kid.

The school filed a complaint of assault and robbery. Really?!? Whatever happened to time-out? Or staying after school? Or calling the parents? Or common-friggin'-sense?

And the cops - handcuffing a 7-year-old. What's up with the big, bad, NYPD? Can't even handle a little kid? GMAFB.

Elsewhere, another 7-year-old was suspended for using his imagination.

A second-grader in Colorado has been suspended from his elementary school for “throwing” an imaginary grenade during a harmless make-believe game he was playing called “rescue the world.”

The innocent 7-year-old claimed he was, in fact, simply trying to rescue the world, but officials at Mary Blair Elementary School, in Loveland, Colo., said playing with a weapon, the pretend grenade in this case, whether imaginary or real, is unacceptable on school grounds.

The kid didn't threaten anyone. He didn't even throw anything real, like a rock or a dirt clod. He was just using his imagination (isn't that a good thing?) to save the world. What's so terrible about that?

As his mother said, "I think that when a child is trying to save the world, I don't think he should be punished for it."

The boy's response?

“I was trying to save people and I just can’t believe I got dispended.”

Me either, kid.

(Side note: the kid can't even pronounce what happened to him. Do they really expect him to understand it? Idiots...)

Other similar incidents include:

• a five-year-old girl suspended for suggesting she and a friend take turns 'shooting' each other with a pink Hello Kitty bubble gun.

• a fifth-grade girl searched and browbeaten by school officials for having a piece of paper that supposedly looked like a gun

• a five-year-old boy threatened with suspension for building a gun out of Legos after school

In the school officials' defense, the kid has a record. According to them, a few weeks ago he made an imaginary gun out of his fingers. He's obviously well on the way to becoming a mass murderer.

Two final thoughts: first, it was depressingly easy to find examples of public school officials overreacting and behaving like absolute total loons.

Second, and more troubling, society has become so fearful and intolerant that we are now criminalizing what used to be considered normal childhood behavior. There is no longer any place in our public school system for judgment and common sense. Knee-jerk reaction and draconian punishment has replaced reasoning and teaching.

And I haven't even touched on what is supposed to be the public school system's primary responsibility - educating our children.

That's a mess for another day...