Thank You Big Brother

We are reminded to be thankful for government, because among its many helpful functions is the posting of signs that warn us not to drink from the urinal.

Chandler's new City Hall comes with some features that have municipal workers and visitors scratching their heads. Like the restroom signs that tell people not to drink out of the urinals and toilets.

A few employees have been cracking jokes and speculating about what it would take to make them slurp from potties when water fountains and sinks are a few feet away.

The environmentally-friendly five-story building uses recycled gray water from its cooling system to flush the urinals and toilets. The notices disclose that. "There's a lot in this building that's so new and different; it's exciting stuff," Dunn said. As an aside, he said his private mayor's office restroom doesn't have a don't-drink-out-of-the-toilet sign.

Allow me to restate. One, the government believes it is necessary to post signs telling people not to drink out of receptacles where people urinate or defecate. I would think that most people don't need this sort of instruction, regardless of whether the water used to flush said receptacles is potable or not. Two, government officials are exempted from their own regulations.

Don't get me wrong. I think using gray water is a great idea. It's a wonderful way to conserve water. If it was used in office buildings and hotels millions of gallons could be saved. (For the uninformed, gray water is water that is collected from sinks, air conditioners, roof runoff, and the like, and used for non-consumption purposes like irrigation or flushing toilets. It may or may not be minimally filtered and processed. It is not waste water from kitchen sinks or toilets. That is black water, and goes into the sewer system. I learned all this when we installed a rain water capture system for our house, which I'll discuss sometime in the future.)

However, I remain unconvinced that we need a government agency to prevent us from lapping water from the toilet like some sort of two-legged dog.

Workers also are getting used to the building's energy-saving "light harvesting system." It's set up with light and motion sensors so if there's enough illumination from the sun or if offices and meeting rooms are empty they shut off. Marian Norris, assistant to the city manager, said the motion detector shutoffs save energy by extinguishing lights when workers leave their offices and forget to flip the switch. But crews are adjusting the system because it has been shutting off lights when people are working but are too still. That happened during a recent City Council subcommittee meeting that prompted one official to jump out of his chair and walk briskly around the table just to bring the lights back.

The university where I teach has a similar system. It's a giant pain in the butt. The damn lights are always going off in the middle of conferences with students or while I'm grading papers. It's reached the point where I've put a small fan with paper streamers in front of the sensor. The fluttering streamers are active enough to prevent the sensor from turning off the lights.

The same university has banned personal coffee-makers in our offices. The stated reason was that we have a break room, and should make our coffee in there "in order to conserve energy." No one in the administration has yet been able to explain why it takes less electricity to brew a pot of coffee in the break room than it does in my office, but "rules are rules."

One final comment on the restroom signs. The story comes from Chandler, Arizona. As we all know, AZ has a problem with illegal immigrants, mostly of the Hispanic persuasion. Yet the warning signs are in English only; there are no signs in Spanish. This is an obvious case of racism...

It's That Time Of The Year

Course projects are due. Finals are just around the corner. Grandmothers are dropping like flies.

Seriously, at this point in the semester the students are getting tired and surly, the faculty are getting worn down and burned out, and the administrators are being even more troublesome than usual. That's why it was so refreshing to read the following article.

Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It

The U.S. Department of Education released a comprehensive, nationwide evaluation of American schools Monday indicating that attempts to teach absolutely anything to these little shits is just a huge waste of everybody's time.

"We remain committed to providing every student in the country with access to a high-quality education," said Education Secretary Arne Duncan, adding that good schools are a key component to the success of American democracy. "But to be honest, none of that matters. We're not talking about promising young scholars here—we're talking about a bunch of fucking animals."

"We've basically flushed $11,000 down the toilet for every single one of these little bastards," Duncan continued. "Not to mention 18 years of my life."

The study, which analyzed the effectiveness of both public and private schools, found that efforts to enlighten these terrors on the subjects of math, history, grammar, and science are as productive as slamming your head into a goddamn brick wall. The research also confirmed that the unbearable shits, who take everything for granted, consistently piss away each learning opportunity they're given.

"When I first started teaching, I would see the smiling faces in my classroom and get excited about nurturing their young minds," said Melanie Whitman, 35, a first-grade teacher quoted in the report. "Now I can't look up from my desk without wanting to puke at the sight of all those little psychopaths."

Secretary Duncan said the study is the first to provide detailed evidence in support of the theory that third-grader Scott Kriesel is a complete fuck-up and perhaps even the living incarnation of Satan.

According to the report, billions of dollars in federal resources have been spent to modernize classrooms and improve teacher training, even though the little brats spend their entire days carving profanities into desks, shouting at whoever's in charge, and refusing to sit down, shut up, and actually learn something for once.

In addition, research suggests that school boards across the nation have grown tired of fighting to obtain funding for brand-new textbooks only to have the miserable fucks just deface them all with ejaculating penis drawings on the first day of class.

When asked if charter schools might help solve some of the problems faced by public education, Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller told reporters the data indicated any difference they made would amount to jack shit.

"Some charter schools perform better than their public counterparts, some don't," Miller said. "You can't change the fact that any school, no matter how it's funded, is ultimately just another type of building to contain these goddamn monsters for seven hours a day."

Miller added that more involvement from home was not the answer, either, as the little shits tend to have shithead parents who just make everything worse. The only findings from the study that provide a glimmer of hope, he said, are student absenteeism and dropout rates, which continue to increase.

"Christ, I dedicated my career to my students, actually thinking I could make a difference in their lives," middle-school teacher Joan Kubickers said Monday. "If I'd gone into public relations, I'd be making six figures by now. And at a PR firm, I bet I wouldn't have to worry about my tires getting slashed in the parking lot."

"Well, I have to go," she added. "The fucking hyenas in my third-period class await."

The Department of Education study comes on the heels of a survey last month that found 90 percent of all elementary school students resent being taught by pathetic losers who couldn't get a decent job in the real world.

On first reading I thought this was a piece of fiction. But after thinking about it I'm not so sure...

The World Has Gone Crazy

I don't know what's going on these days. Normally I'd suspect a full moon, but this month it doesn't occur until the 21st. 


Anyway, we now have these two stories of bizarre assaults to go along with yesterday's post about the cop attacked with a sex toy. 


Wanton Tamale Assault 

A Florida woman was arrested Saturday morning for domestic battery after allegedly assaulting her boyfriend with a plate of tamales. The woman told cops that she tossed the corn-based projectiles at her boyfriend after he called her a “bitch” in front of the couple’s one-year-old son.

According to the police report, deputies responded to a 911 call. Upon their arrival, officers found the alleged victim, Roberto Olvera, with “tamale sauce all over his pants.”

As officers were interviewing Olvera, the woman “burst in interrupting him telling him to tell me that he called her a bitch” during an argument earlier in the day, and that “she threw the tamales on him because she is not going to let him call her a bitch in front of her son and get away with it."

The woman was booked into the Manatee County Jail on a misdemeanor battery count. She was released after posting $500 bond.

Seems like a bit of an over-reaction. He called her a bitch, she threw tamales at him. He wasn't injured; all that happened was that his pants got tamale sauce on them. No harm, no foul. Sounds like a fair exchange to me.


First a dildo, now tamales. What's next - a ninja attack cat?

Never mind.


Then we have the case of the pissed off girlfriend who decided that she didn't want her name tattooed on her boyfriend's neck after they broke up. Rather than employ that new-fangled laser tattoo technology, this gal went all old school on the dude.

Following an argument with her boyfriend, a knife-wielding Nebraska woman allegedly attempted to cut off a tattoo of her name from the man’s neck.

Tressa Amerson, 19, was jailed Friday night on a domestic assault charge following an altercation with her boyfriend Ronald Miner.

Miner told officers that he and Amerson “had been having ongoing relationship problems for the past week.” 

There's a candidate for Understatement of the Year.

Miner said Amerson “grabbed a knife and attempted to cut the tattoo of her name off his neck.”

In an interview, Miner said that he got the 2” x 2” “Tressa” tattoo in late-July and has been dating Amerson for about a year. Asked if he considered Amerson his girlfriend, Miner replied, “kinda, sorta, not really,” before adding, “she’s pretty crazy.” 

And we have another contender for Understatement of the Year. Two from the same story - not bad. 


Something to think about before you get someone else's name permanently inked on your body. Although to be fair, it seems that if tequila can cause you to get a tat or two, it should also be able to remove said tats...

Slinky Stooges

Some people are like Slinkies.

They're not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when they're pushed down the stairs.

Two-Fer

Today's post is a two-for-one special. You get a news-of-the-absurd story that I cleverly combine with a FOD post. I'm feeling quite proud of myself.

And now, the news...

Woman Attacks Cop With Sex Toy

A Gurnee woman faces aggravated assault and other charges after police say she threatened to hit an officer with a female sex toy.

Carolee Bildsten, 56, faces single misdemeanor counts of aggravated assault and theft of labor after being arrested at her home Tuesday, Gurnee Deputy Police Chief Kevin Woodside said in a news release issued Thursday.

The incident started at 7:20 p.m. when Bildsten walked out on her tab at Joe's Crab Shack in the 5600 block of Northridge Drive in Gurnee, officials said in the news release.

Police were notified about the bill, and checked the area to see if Bildsten could be located, Woodside said. Police found her laying in the grass on the south side of Grand Avenue, near Six Flags Great America.

That should have been a great big red flag.

The officer spoke with the woman and told her to pay her bill or she would be arrested. Bildsten said her money was at her home, which was a short walk away, according to the news release.

The officer escorted her to the apartment in the 5300 block of David Avenue. Bildsten went to the bedroom to retrieve the money from her dresser, Woodside said.

However, rather than getting the money, she removed a “clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device” from her dresser, held it over her head, and approached the officer in a threatening manner, Woodside said in the release.

The officer knocked the device away before being struck, Woodside said, and arrested the woman. The officer was not injured.

"A clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" - I wonder how long it took the officer to come up with that description. Although if she was holding it over her head, rather than below waist level, I wouldn't feel too threatened.

A picture of the woman is below. From the photo it's obvious why she needed "a clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device." It'd take a boatload of Shiner before anyone would go out with this whacko.

And here's her weapon of choice.

If you're interested you can buy one here.

Sunday Funnies

Politics and Football - Not so strange bedfellows here in Texas...

 

Q: Why did the Dallas Cowboys coach climb the chain link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do the Dallas football team and the movie Brokeback Mountain have in common?
A: They both have cowboys that suck!

 * * * * * * * * *

Jerry Jones is flying in the Chilean miners for this weeks football game.

He's looking for anyone who can show the Dallas Cowboys how to get out of a hole.

 * * * * * * * * *

The police found a 6 year old boy wandering the streets. They offered to take him home. The boy said no, because his mother beats him.

The officers asked the boy, "What about your father?"

The boy replied, "He beats me too."

The police asked him who he would like to live with.

The boy replied, "With the Dallas Cowboys, because they don't beat anybody."

Why Some People Can't Sleep

 

You know who you are...

Oh My Achin' Back

How much irony can we take?

Obama panel probes stimulus waste -- at Ritz Carlton

Members of a key panel created by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, better known as the stimulus bill, have scheduled a meeting on November 22 to consider ways to prevent "fraud, waste, and abuse of Recovery Act funds." The meeting will be held at the super-luxe Ritz Carlton Hotel in Phoenix, Arizona.

The group is the Recovery Independent Advisory Panel, a sub-committee of the larger Recovery Accountability and Transparency board (sometimes known as the RAT board). The stimulus bill set up the Recovery Independent Advisory Panel, or RIAP, to make recommendations to identify and prevent waste of the bill's $814 billion in stimulus spending.

"The purpose of the November 22, 2010 meeting is to allow the RIAP to have an open dialogue, with input from the public, on issues relating to fraud, waste, and abuse of Recovery Act funds," says a notice in the Federal Register. Specifically, participants in the meeting will discuss various techniques to detect and prevent fraud, waste, and abuse, as well as larger issues of transparency and public awareness. Portions of the meeting will be open to the public, while other parts will be closed.

The Ritz-Carlton is located "in the midst of the picturesque Camelback Corridor, the city's premier shopping, dining and financial district," according the hotel's website. Hungry waste-and-abuse hunters can dine in the "casual elegance, relaxed atmosphere and uniquely inviting ambiance of the European-inspired bistro 24." Or they can enjoy Afternoon Tea in the "uniquely warm and inviting" Lobby Lounge. And at any time, waste-and-abuse watchdogs who also enjoy golf will be "just minutes from some of the best courses in the world," including the Tournament Players Club, the Arizona Biltmore, and several others.

I've stayed at the Ritz-Carlton before. Not on my dime, on the client's (I was on a consulting gig for an organization that has more $$$ than God and didn't care how they spent it). "Posh" is an understatement.

If they need a facility that will accommodate public comments, there are plenty of convention halls, arenas, school auditoriums, and the like in the Phoenix area that would be suitable, and a damn sight less expensive.

Of course, why should the panel care. It's not their money they're wasting...

Friday Follies Happy Hour

A mullet and a Weekend at Bernies ripoff - what better way to start the weekend.



I need to update my will...

Students Busted For Cheating

Normally a bunch of students getting caught cheating on an exam wouldn't be a big story. It's more of an occupational hazard. We professors take all sorts of precautions, but it's a move-countermove game (kind of like terrorism). One side does something and the other side reacts. I only wish the students would put as much effort and creativity into studying as they do in cheating.

What caught my eye about this, though, was two things. First, the Pollyanna-ish attitude of the professor. If he thinks this is the first and only time anyone has ever cheated in his class, well, I wonder what color the sky is in his world. Probably rosy pink.

The second item of interest is the unbelievable attitude of the second student interviewed. He's got some long, unpronounceable name with many consonants, so I didn't write it down, but you can't miss him.

Please bear with the advertisement at the beginning of the video. I couldn't find one without some sort of ad. But please sit through it and see if you're as dismayed as I am.

UPDATE: The video has been removed from the ABC News website, but a written story is available. Excerpts below.

Hundreds of students caught in a cheating scandal at the University of Central Florida in Orlando have been given a choice: Come clean or face the consequences.

Regardless of their decision, all the students must retake their midterm exam this week.

Professor Richard Quinn addressed his students in a videotaped lecture, explaining that the test scores "were a grade and a half higher than [they had] ever had run before."

Those elevated test results sent up a "red flag," so Quinn ran more complicated statistics on the exam results. He said he then received confirmation of his suspicions when a student, "either through a guilty conscience or as a head's up," anonymously tipped him off.

Two hundred students, approximately one-third of the class of seniors, were believed to have received advanced copies of the exam. It was the largest cheating scandal in the university's history.

Quinn, who called the scandal "a knife to my heart, calculated exactly who'd cheated, and then gave the entire class a dressing down.

"To say I'm disappointed is beyond comprehension," he said. "Physically ill, absolutely disgusted, disillusioned, trying to figure out what the last 20 years were all about."

Like I said, Pollyanna lives.

He offered the students an ultimatum: Come clean and take a four-hour ethics course, and your records would be wiped clean. If they chose not to come forward, they'd run a risk.

"If you want to take a high-risk gamble, take it. I challenge you to take it," he said. "Because we know who you are, we know where you are and when academic affairs is done, you'll know the outcome."

Aside from the ultimatum, Quinn is making all 600 students retake the exam, whether they cheated or not. He has given the cheating students until midnight Wednesday to come forward and take the ethics seminar to risk expulsion.

So far, he told ABC News, about half of the cheaters have confessed.

Student responses:

"If this is your major, you should be studying," Riordan continued. "You should want to learn and not to cheat."

Student Alan Blanchard agreed.

"It's horrible," he said. "We don't need unethical people going into the business world, obviously. I'm sure there's enough of them out there."

But student Konstantin Ravvin expressed a different opinion, accusing the university of "making a witch hunt out of absolutely nothing, as if they want to teach us some kind of moral lesson."

"This is college. Everyone cheats, everyone cheats in life in general," Ravvin said. "I think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in this testing lab who hasn't cheated on an exam."

I wish the video was still available, because that last knucklehead went on to say how adults cheat to get ahead all the time so why shouldn't students, and a bunch more tripe like that. Maybe the adults he knows are like that, but most of the ones I know are generally honest.

I wish the professor the best. I certainly hope the situation is resolved and all those involved get the outcome they deserve. However, I will be very, very surprised if at some point a gaggle of lawyers don't slither out from under a pile of rocks...

A Different Kind Of Veterans Day Commentary

Today is Veterans Day. There will be the obligatory speeches and postings professing to honor those who have served, are serving, and will serve. Many of them will be sincere. Some will be pro forma. I applaud the former and despise the latter.

This is a different kind of Veterans Day commentary. It's one I don't enjoy posting. You may not enjoy reading it. But I think it is worthwhile and appropriate.

I am a veteran, as were my father, my mother, and my father-in-law. Perhaps that's why the letter below struck me so forcefully.

The letter speaks for itself...

Why I quit... Desert Storm vet explains decision to leave Air Force after 22 years

By Mike Banzet

I never expected to write this letter, but my Mom e-mailed me to get information about my career for a writeup on Veterans Day, and as this is the first such holiday in 22 years when I will not be on active duty, I felt compelled to let you know why I decided to quit.

Quit is a strong word, I know. Everyone I’ve talked to has repeated that I’ve had a marvelous career and that I’ve retired with honor. Maybe that’s true on paper; I guess that it’s reflected by the record. But that’s not how I feel. I feel like I’ve quit. And because I’m not a quitter, I feel I have to explain why — not that anyone is asking, but because perhaps they don’t know to ask.

Briefly, my career had been a representation of the promise of this country. Starting out on the lowest rung of the rank ladder as an F-4G Wild Weasel crew chief, continuing on F-16s and the F-117A Stealth fighter in Desert Storm, then a small part of Desert Fox as a nuclear Maintenance Officer and finally a pilot that took part in numerous deployments in Southern Watch, Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. I finished up an awesome year on the ground in Iraq, and was selected to receive a coveted “Definitely Promote,” assuring me of promotion to lieutenant colonel. They don’t pass out many of those. My dreams were right in front of me. All I had to do was grab them. And then I retired. Why?

I had chosen, freely, to place my life between those that would do harm to the U.S. and those whom I would protect: her citizens. I had always believed in the best of America and the people of her lands; that despite occasional missteps there was a general “rightness” to our way. I lived that belief for 22 years, leading and following warriors into combat. I’m certainly no war hero; my brothers in arms have seen far more combat, more intense and personal than I. But I have become acquainted with death in a way that I hope you never do. My last tour, on the ground in Iraq was where my heart started to be hardened towards you, the electorate, and culminated in this letter, written two days before our elections. And here’s why.

You’ve elected officials who, for partisan points, spoke openly that the “…war is lost.” I happened to be in a dining facility in Baghdad that day, filled with the (mostly) young faces of (mostly) Army men and women. CNN was on the TVs, and things got very quiet when this elected official continued on, railing that the mission that some of these very people were here to do, had “…failed.” Yet, they would be donning their body armor, strapping on med kits and weapons, mounting HMMVs or MRAPs and heading outside the wire, ensuring that the newborn democracy in Iraq, purchased with so many lives, would be safe another night. The newly re-invigorated insurgents would be waiting, teeth bared back in a hateful smile, gripping the IED detonator, the RPG launcher, or the AK-47s to ply their trade with new energy, because the Senate Majority Leader had said they were winning.

You elected officials who continually defame and berate military members, whether it is the observation that if you’re not too bright, you’ll get “…stuck in Iraq” (this from a guy who has two Purple Hearts for self-inflicted wounds, and known for throwing someone else’s medals away in protest), or the calling of combat Marines cold-blooded killers (in a war; before trial). You’ve elected officials in the role of commander-in-chief who “loathe” the military, while using ROTC deferments and special treatment to avoid military service that the less “connected” take as a responsibility. On the basis of “change,” you elected someone who had close, ongoing associations with people who were part of an organization that tried to kill us [U.S. military] on our own soil.

You elected officials that promised to take property from some Americans, and give it to you, merely because they had more than you did. Those Americans that these officials have labeled as the “rich” are your neighbors, who provide jobs and pay far more in taxes than you ever will. That means they are already subsidizing your lifestyle choices; you just want more of their property without the responsibility of risking your wealth and labor to get it. You would rather hire someone to take it from them. And you have.

Yet these same officials from this same party are the wealthiest group of people in both the House and Senate. They have offshore accounts, forbid unions in their businesses and use every tax loophole they can find with their armies of accountants. But you keep sending them back to those jobs, because they promise to steal from some Americans and give to you.

You elect officials who openly embrace illegal activity; but they don’t have to live with the consequences. Other Americans pay the price. You support “sanctuary cities” and open defiance of federal law, including supporting administrations who sue our sister states as they desperately try to control a crime epidemic by supporting federal law. You support an administration that leads a party that gives a standing ovation to the leader of a country that exploits our kindness and actively encourages law-breaking in our country while insulting our fellow citizens who dare to try to enforce the law. Check out your elected officials; did they stand and applaud the racist diatribe of the president of Mexico? Did they join the attorney general and the head of Homeland Security in applauding this gaping hole in (homeland) security and law? Do you have locks on your doors? Why?

You elect officials who are openly racist, decrying that “White folks’ greed drives a world in need…” and that their own grandmother was a “…typical white person.” Someone who sits in admiration as their pastor (small p; no capital letters for racists), in a church he attended for 20 years, slanders the United States as the “…U.S. of KKK America” and delights that the 9/11 “…chickens have come home to roost.” Someone who refused to denounce a paramilitary, racist organization that placed its members in front of polling places armed with billy clubs, and yelling racist, threatening epithets. On video. And the Attorney General did nothing.

Oh, wait. The Justice Department is now apparently, under sworn testimony, the Department of Racial Payback. And you continue to support the party that supports this blatantly racist behavior because they say that they will stick it to “the man” on your behalf. A Nation of Cowards? I don’t think so; the courage of this breathtaking racism is without equal in modern times. One would think that you would use your votes to eradicate these racist policies from the U.S. But that assumes eradicating racism is your aim. It’s not, or you would be as incensed at this blatant racism as you would if sheet-covered whites were there. But longtime Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd’s old gang has been rightfully disgraced and shamed into a virtual non-existence. Thank goodness that 52 percent of you discourage that kind of behavior.

But you don’t. You support the tactic of using the epithet of “racist” as the cudgel of choice for racists who don’t like policies that conservatives advocate. Don’t like illegal activity? Racist. Your party insists that to provide a photo ID — proving you are who you say you are — is not only too much of a burden to ask a voter to bear, but it’s racist as well. This not only terribly insulting to all races, but when the burden of proof to rent the DVD “Second Hand Lions” (amazing movie!) is higher than that required to vote for someone who has control of nuclear weapons or deploying men and women into harm’s way, there is something wrong.

It doesn’t end there. Don’t like a particular female’s policies? Sexist. Yet, you support politicians who prey on 20-year old interns, seduce underage male interns, and, as a double bonus, support a person for the Supreme Court who says she is “wiser” than white people because of her race and sex. And any opponent of hers must be sexist and racist. Yet the prevailing double standard makes “bitch” an acceptable term for a conservative grandmother with the temerity to want to stop illegal activity. And “whore” is acceptable terminology for any conservative woman.

Sarah Palin seems to be a nice person, the kind you would love to have as a neighbor, regardless of her policies; but you insist that she is stupid and vile. She is ignorant and inexperienced, clearly not ready for anything, as holding a variety of elected and appointed positions culminating in the governorship of Alaska clearly doesn’t hold up against… an organizer of race-based communities. Sexist, if a conservative said those words about a liberal, but because she is not pro-killing-little-kids, 52 percent of you decided she was worth vicious ad hominem attacks that continue to this day. Not just saying that you disagree, but saying she is evil. You support it all. All because the folks that practice this abhorrent behavior promise to give you free health care stolen from other Americans who haven’t paid their ill-defined “fair share.”

My oath was this: “I, Mike, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”

 I took that oath seriously. But you have responsibilities, too. You should take them seriously.

Ooh-Rah

Happy Birthday to the USMC

Tonight I'll be honored to toast all Marines past present and future.

One Bad NIght

Can't a Guy Have 'One Bad Night?'

Jaws may have dropped over Charlie Sheen's New York hotel adventure (story below), but the Two and a Half Men actor isn't stressing.

"If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics," Sheen, 45, tells Extra. "I'm not panicking."

Charlie Sheen Found Drunk and Naked in New York Hotel

Charlie Sheen was found drunk and reportedly naked in a New York hotel early Tuesday morning.

"Police responded to a call for an intoxicated male," a source confirms to PEOPLE. Sheen, 45, was taken to the hospital "in the company of a female, unharmed." He was removed from the scene for "for alcohol abuse and psychological evaluation" and considered an "aided case," meaning no arrest was made.

According to Sheen's rep, "What we are able to determine is that Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where is expected to be released tomorrow."

Ah yes, the old "adverse allergic reaction" line. Boy, if I'd thought to parlay that one with the "Can't a guy have one bad night?" line I could have avoided so much unpleasantness with everyone from ex-wives to police. Both groups tend to overreact to a little exuberance.

Of course, we might have had to amend it to "Can't a guy have a few bad nights?"

In any event, all that is ancient history. The records have been sealed, the statute of limitations has expired, and I'm now a respected and upstanding member of society, entrusted with educating the youth of America.

If they only knew...

One Professor's Fantasy

I have had student conferences like this.

I have had fantasies of responding like the professor character does.

Unfortunately, they are doomed to remain just that - fantasies...

Leftovers

Leftover cartons from the Nov. 2010 elections. Too good to let pass...

 

Amen, brother...

Irony Alert

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves.

Biden Attends Meeting on Government Transparency - Meeting Closed to the Press

Joe's had some problems with promises recently. He assured everyone that last summer would be full of economic recovery. Which it wasn't. And Joe guaranteed that his Democratic Party would maintain majorities in both houses of Congress in last week's midterm election. Which it didn't.

Today the VP meets with Earl Devaney, chairman of the Recovery Accountability and Transparency Board -- the person responsible for monitoring the gazillion-dollar stimulus and keeping the taxpayers informed about it.

However, no one outside the room will know what goes on in that Biden-Devaney meeting. That's because the government meeting on government transparency has been closed.

You just can't make this stuff up...

Just Desserts

Justice, Not Vengeance

A man convicted of killing three members of a Connecticut family in a brutal 2007 home invasion should die for the crime, jurors decided Monday after nearly 18 hours of deliberation.

Steven Hayes, 47, was convicted last month of 16 of the 17 charges against him, including nine counts of murder and capital murder and four counts of kidnapping. Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48, and her daughters, 17-year-old Hayley Petit and 11-year-old Michaela Petit, died in the attack.

Prosecutors alleged that Hayes and Joshua Komisarjevsky invaded the Petit home in Cheshire, Connecticut, on July 23, 2007, beat Dr. William Petit, raped and strangled his wife, molested one of the daughters and set the house on fire. 

I've posted before (here and here) about this particular crime. I just cannot comprehend the brutality, heinousness, and wanton disregard of anything remotely resembling empathy or humanity. 

Michaela was an 11-year-old girl -- tortured and killed in her own bedroom, surrounded by stuffed animals.

My daughter is 14. It wasn't that long ago that she was 11 and slept with a ginormous pile of stuffed animals. When I slipped into her room to check on her before I went to bed she had usually burrowed down to the bottom of the pile. That's one of the fondest, strongest images I have of her.

The defense attorney, speaking of the defendant, said "he isn't a rabid dog that needs to be put to death."

I agree with that statement. It's an affront to rabid dogs everywhere. They have a sickness that compels them to behave in a certain way. They literally cannot help themselves. These sick fucks, on the other hand, made a series of cold, calculating, premeditated decisions that resulted in the horrific deaths of a mother and her two daughters. 

I heard a radio interview with the father. He put things in a way that I'd never heard before, but that I thought did a pretty good job of capturing and explaining what he was going through. To the best of my recollection it went something like this.

"This (the death penalty) smooths the edges of the hole in my soul, but that hole will never go away. It will be with me always."

Pre-Veterans Day

Veterans Day is this Thursday, Nov. 11. Regardless of your political leanings, this is a day to acknowledge the contributions and sacrifices of the men and women who wear or have worn the uniform of our military.

This year why not personalize that acknowledgment?

If you live near a VA hospital, drop in for a visit. Just a short 30 minutes or so would mean the world to the people there.

Not near a VA hospital? Participate in programs like Take a Vet to School Day (links here and here) or Thank a Veteran at Work. (Helpful note - if you're not a teacher you can contact your child's teacher and provide them the information about Take a Vet to School Day. Even better - volunteer to help with that day's class!)

Other ideas include donating time and/or money to organizations like the VFW, USO, or DAV.

There are numerous other veteran-oriented organizations and charities out there. I'm not going to list them all, or recommend one over another, but one that I regularly donate to is AdoptaPlatoon.

Some relatively new ones that look promising include Cooking With the Troops , Pin Ups for Vets , and Operation Fight the Post Holiday Blues.

If you see a service member in uniform or anything that makes you think they were one (a VFW hat, for example, or a military pin or tattoo) walk up to them and thank them for their service. A hardy handshake is almost never turned away.

Neither is a cold beer...

FOD In Pictures

In honor of the original FOD

Sunday Funnies

This weekend we celebrate the nonsense that is Daylight Savings Time. Like most things the government mandates, the name is a misnomer. We don't 'save' any daylight. We just artificially move it from one category (p.m.) to another (a.m.).

Kind of like Social Security...

Daylight Savings Time went into effect at 2:00 a.m. today. One of my co-workers is an Aggie. Every year this normally punctual person arrives late to work the Monday after the time change. I finally had to find out why.

"Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?" I asked.

"Oh, no," she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock."

Body clock disrupted by 'falling back'? Stay in bed

Daylight saving time ends this weekend. At 2 a.m. Sunday, the clock falls back one hour. While most of us plan to embrace that blessed hour (by sleeping right through it), the time change can throw a few people for a loop.

“They won’t be sleep-deprived, but it’ll hurt their ability to shift their body clock,” said Dr. Alfred Lewy, a professor of psychiatry at the Oregon Health and Science University.

“It might take a couple of days. For some it takes up to a week to shift,” Lewy said. “There are research papers that show that traffic accidents increase up to a week after the changes both in the fall and spring. It’s kind of like having jet lag.”

To avoid having your body clock disrupted, Lewy’s advice is simple: “Even if you can’t sleep an extra hour, stay in bed with your eyes closed. If you want to get up, don’t go outdoors. Draw the blinds and don’t have lots of sunlight come into house.”  This could help your body adjust to the time change.

They Still Don't Get It

A short compilation of what liberal commentators are saying regarding the election results.

From Graydon Carter, editor of Vanity Fair:

...The general anti-Obama rage out there is palpable. But it’s no more virulent than the anti-Bush sentiment that has pervaded the country for much of the past decade—although this being America, there’s an attendant hatred for Obama that has more to do with race than anything else. What makes today’s fury more worrying is the fact that angry right-wing extremists tend to carry guns in disproportionate numbers to their liberal counterparts.

Ah yes, we're all gun-toting racists. The election has nothing at all to do with his policies. It's all about the color of his skin. And of course it must be us angry right-wing extremists who are shooting up Marine facilities to vent our rage. After all, the Marines are natural targets for the anti-obama crowd.

Then there's MSNBC anchor Dylan Ratigan (and what could be a more descriptive term for MSNBC commentators than "anchor," seeing as how the network's ratings are sinking like an anvil in water):

...during a November 3 segment with Nicolle Wallace, the former George W. Bush staffer told Ratigan that Tea Partiers who fueled last night's electoral shakeup were furious at the direction of the country the past few years.

Ratigan's reply:

"The Tea Partier burns themselves in the town square and then tries to burn the whole town down, because they’re so pissed off. [It] gratifies their anger. Yee ha! You’re mad, you just killed everybody!"

"I’m mad, I’m using it to motivate me to work 18-hour days to try to first propagate the information properly and secondarily organize around it. So while I would say the emotional origin is similar, the manifestation instead of being destroy the country, destroy myself, which is what the Tea Party in my view has become, where the anger is just converted into destruction, that the anger can be converted into construction."

I guess I missed the news stories about Tea Party members setting themselves and surrounding buildings on fire while rioting, looting, and destroying everything in their path.

And while we're on the subject of MSNBC, I'd like to give a shout-out to my buddy Keith Olbermann. Way to put your money where your mouth is, Keith.

Finally, we have Bill Press, host of a liberal radio show (hey, I was as surprised as you are to find out one exists).

Bill Press says what most liberals in the media will only shroud in cryptic code: the voters who swept Democrats out of power in the House are stupid.

During the first hour of his eponymous radio program today, Press wished more liberal politicians would just say what they really think about the constituents they ostensibly serve: "Just once – probably never get reelected if you ever said it – I would like to hear somebody say, 'The voters have spoken, the bastards.'"

The left-wing talk show host suggested a few variations of the insult:

"Or, 'The voters have spoken. What a bunch of idiots.'"

"The voters have spoken. God, they're dumb. Dumb as hell."

They were so much smarter two years ago, right Bill? I wonder how they got so dumb in a short 24 months.

Liberals in the media have repeatedly made the case that the Democrats's dismal approving ratings can be attributed to poor messaging, not that the voters get the message loud and clear but reject the liberal agenda behind it.

Some have taken this argument a step further, arguing that congressional Democrats have languished because their agenda hasn't been liberal enough. But Press is one of those special liberals in the media who cuts through this circuitous argument and tells it like it is: the voters reject liberalism simply because they are knuckle-dragging Neanderthals.

Well, that's enough for now. I've got to go read my Bible and clean my guns ... oh yeah, and gloat...

Friday Follies Happy Hour

Let's celebrate the results of the Nov. 2 election by Dancing in the Streets!



Boogie down, y'all...

Ah, Irony - Delicious, Delicious Irony

You just can't make this stuff up.

Citing health overhaul, AARP hikes employee costs

AARP's endorsement helped secure passage of President Barack Obama's health care overhaul. Now the seniors' lobby is telling its employees their insurance costs will rise partly as a result of the law.

In an e-mail to employees, AARP says health care premiums will increase by 8 percent to 13 percent next year because of rapidly rising medical costs.

And AARP adds that it's changing copayments and deductibles to avoid a 40 percent tax on high-cost health plans that takes effect in 2018 under the law. Aerospace giant Boeing also has cited the tax in asking its workers to pay more. Shifting costs to employees lowers the value of a health care plan and acts like an escape hatch from the tax.

Although the tax on so-called "Cadillac" health care plans doesn't take effect for years, employers are already beginning to assess their potential exposure because it is hefty: at 40 percent of the value above $10,200 for individual coverage and $27,500 for a family plan. The tax is intended as a savings measure, to prod employers and workers into more cost-efficient plans.

In the real world, "more cost-efficient" means less coverage and more cost for the individual. I'm still puzzled why plans that have low premiums and co-pays are considered evil by the government. Yes, I know that the company picks up the difference, but why does 'improving' health care shift those costs to the individual? They damn sure aren't going away - some one has to pay them. I guess I'm just one of those voters who are too dumb to understand the benefits that obama and his cohorts are providing. 

AARP warned its employees that more cost-shifting could be in store. "AARP intends to make similar changes, as necessary, in the future to avoid the (health plan) tax," said Hodges' e-mail.

The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again...

Good Guys 3, Bad Guys 0

A homeowner shot and killed one intruder and gravely injured another after a group of knife-wielding men kicked in the man's door early Wednesday, police said.

Cresencio Briones, 37, told police four combative men showed up outside his home in the 500 block of Creath Place around 1:30 a.m. looking for someone who was allegedly staying at the house.

A witness told police one of the men said he'd recently been released from prison and didn't care if he went back, according to a police incident report. 

Wish granted. 

Moments later, the witness saw him (one of the combative men) kick in the door and enter the home alongside Rene Zapata, 19, who was holding a knife

Briones fired multiple shots from inside the home with a .38 caliber handgun. 

Poor choice of caliber, but good aim. (Why do Marines use a .45 caliber handgun? Because they don't make a .46.)

When police arrived several minutes later they found Zapata lying in the living room with a gunshot wound to his upper chest and a knife by his side, the report states. He was pronounced dead at the scene shortly after.

Police apprehended Roger Alex Sosa, 38, several few blocks away, the report states. He had a gunshot wound to his neck that exited through his cheek. Sosa was taken into custody and charged with burglary of habitation with intent to commit assault. Released from University Hospital Wednesday, he was being held at the Bexar County Jail on a $100,000 bond, authorities said.

A third suspect, who remains unidentified, was also apprehended as he ran down a nearby street after the shooting. He was also charged with burglary of a habitation with intent to commit assault, the report states.

Police said Briones is not expected to face charges.

This is why elections are important. Texas has a 'concealed carry' law and a 'castle doctrine' law. The net effect of these two laws is to give legal cover to individuals who use firearms in self-defense. The alternative is not worth contemplating. For affirmation please see what people have to say who are much more qualified than I (and please forgive the tortured syntax).

Wednesday's shooting was the third time a San Antonio homeowner killed an intruder in recent weeks.

Woo-hoo!!!

Police consider all three cases to be self defense and none have been charged. 

Woo-hoo!!!  Woo-hoo!!!

On Oct. 19 Toni Hanes, 50, awoke to the sound of her bedroom door being kicked in around 3:30 a.m. in the 4800 block of Castle Path Drive, police said. She grabbed a handgun from under her pillow and fired multiple shots at an acquaintance, Guadalupe Rolando Valenzuela, 28, who fled and was found dead in a neighbor's yard shortly after.

Two days later, a 19-year-old man fatally stabbed a still-unidentified man who broke into his South Side home, authorities said. The teen was alone in his family's home in the 2100 block of Mission Verde around 10:30 a.m. when two men kicked in his front door, police said. After firing several shots the young man tried to detain one of them, leading to a struggle in which the youth stabbed the man once in the chest, police said.

Authorities in the district attorney's office signaled that the teen is unlikely to face charges. The suspect died at the scene and remains unidentified, according to the Bexar County medical examiner's office.

Woo-hoo!!!  Woo-hoo!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Thank you NRA. Thank you TSRA.

Lets Kill All The Lawyers

Law schools are manufacturing more lawyers than America needs, and law students aren't happy about it.

During the recession, the logic was ubiquitous: The economy is terrible—better to wait it out! It is a three-year fast track to a remunerative, respectable career! It's not just learning a subject—it's learning how to think! Law school, always the safe choice, became a more popular choice. Between 2007 and 2009, the number of LSAT takers climbed 20.5 percent. Law school applications increased in turn. 

But now a number of recent or current law students are saying—or screaming—that they made a mistake. They went to law school, they say, and now they're underemployed or jobless, in debt, and three years older.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Serves those parasitic bloodsuckers right. Now if only there was some way to drag down the rest of 'em.

(Some students have gone), perhaps inevitably, to the courts. Kenneth Desornes, for instance, named his law school in his bankruptcy filing. He asks the school to "admit that your business knew or should have known that Plaintiff would be in no position to repay those loans."

Like sharks eating their young.

The students might be litigious—no surprise there—and overwrought. But they've got a point. The demand for lawyers has fallen off a cliff, both due to the short-term crisis of the recession and long-term changes to the industry, and is only starting to rebound. The lawyers that do have jobs are making less than they used to.

Students simply "cannot earn enough income after graduation to support the debt they incur," wrote Richard Matasar, the dean of New York Law School, in 2005. "Even those making the highest salaries find that the debt that they have accumulated while in school may tax them for years."

Many have long argued that lawyers are a drag on society and the economy.

Dan Quayle voiced it back in 1991.

Q. Why does New Jersey have so much industrial waste and Washington, D.C., so many lawyers?

A. New Jersey had first choice.

William Shakespeare beat him by about 300 years.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." (Henry VI, Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2). 

Even the Anointed One (now resting up from all that golf on a $200 million per day vacation) acknowledges that lawyers are counterproductive.

"I wish the country had fewer lawyers and more engineers." (Quote from "The Audacity of Hope," p. 10) 

Irony alert - this from an idiot who chose to be a lawyer, who married a lawyer, and who was a law school instructor. Nice to know he (a) has the courage of his convictions, (b) learns from his mistakes, or (c) none of the above.

Early in his successful (!!!) campaign for the U.S. Senate, Rand Paul quoted Thomas Jefferson:

"If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people send one hundred and fifty lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour? "

Paul went on to point out that 36% of congresscritters were lawyers, a fact that helps explain (1) why it's so ineffective, and (2) why it's held in disdain by so many Americans. 

There's an old joke about a lawyer living in a small town and going broke. Then a second lawyer moves to town and they both get rich.

Sad but true.

If you've ever watched daytime TV, and you have an ounce of integrity and self-respect, then your stomach must have been turned by all the ads for lawyers.

Any doubts? Go here and then here and decide for yourself.

There are many lawyer jokes (What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes), but here's one of my favorites.

A grade school teacher asks  her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.

Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

And another:

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an old drunk were walking along when they simultaneously spotted a hundred-dollar bill laying in the street. Who gets it?

The old drunk, of course. The other three are mythological creatures.

Don't Piss It Away

I've lived in Texas long enough to have experienced several oil boom-and-bust cycles.Several years ago during the last one a popular bumper sticker read "Please lord, give us another oil boom. We promise not to piss it away this time."

Republicans, take heed...

The Cowboys Really, Really Suck

The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas .
For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets.
If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep a Dallas Cowboy out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

 Q. What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Old

Q. What's the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody remembers.

Q. What do the Cowboys and a possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

(Click to embiggen.)

Horse = Gun

Horse riding teen suspended from school

Hamilton-Wenham Regional High School Senior Dan Depaolis, dressed in medieval garb, rode a horse into the school's parking lot as part of spirit week.

What he, and his parents, thought was a good-natured stunt, the school deemed dangerous. Depaolis was suspended from school for two days.

The father tells FOX25 the school compared the stunt to bringing a “loaded firearm” to school...

The school would not comment, saying that they do not talk about any aspect of student discipline.

The family says they plan to contest the suspension.

The horse was brought in on a trailer. The kid rode it around in the parking lot, then loaded it back on the trailer. That's a far cry from bringing a loaded weapon to class.

I weep for the demise of our friend Common Sense...

Crush 'Em

I apologize in advance for the sexist nature of the link below. I have a mother (deceased), a wife, and a daughter. I believe in what I call enlightened equality of the sexes. However...

The following link is one of those things that, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel, you just can't turn away from.

But the main reason I'm posting it is that I hope it's a parable for today's elections. The woman represents the Tea Party, Libertarians, and other assorted good guys, while the cans and other objects represent the 'old guard' politicians, both dems and repubs.  

Just call her the Crusher...

Don't Take Any Chances

It is critically important that there is a high enough turnout on Election Day of Tea Party and republican voters to overcome the 'margin of corruption' in close races.

In 2005, the U.S. Government Accountability Office found that up to 3 percent of the 30,000 individuals called for jury duty from voter registration rolls over a two-year period in just one U.S. district court were not U.S. citizens.

While that may not seem like many, just 3 percent of registered voters would have been more than enough to provide the winning presidential vote margin in Florida in 2000.

The evidence is indisputable that aliens, both legal and illegal, are registering and voting in federal, state, and local elections. Following a mayor's race in Compton, California, for example, aliens testified under oath in court that they voted in the election. The fact that non-citizens registered and voted in the election would never have been discovered except for the fact that it was a very close election and the incumbent mayor, who lost by less than 300 votes, contested it.

Non-citizen voting is likely growing at the same rate as the alien population in the United States; but because of deficiencies in state law and the failure of federal agencies to comply with federal law, there are almost no procedures in place that allow election officials to detect, deter, and prevent non-citizens from registering and voting. Instead, officials are largely dependent on an "honor system" that expects aliens to follow the law. There are numerous cases showing the failure of this honor system.

Honor system? The democraps have no honor.

Don't think a 'small' number of illegal aliens is a problem? Check out the following.

A federal appeals court has ruled against an Arizona law that requires residents to prove their U.S. citizenship to register to vote, but upheld a part of the same law that mandates residents to show identification before voting.

So according to the court a potential voter must show some form of identification - for example, a utility bill !?!?! - but doesn't have to prove citizenship. GMAFB.

The decision was handed down by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco. That explains quite a bit. 

"The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has struck down a simple, common sense protection approved by Arizona voters requiring that all individuals provide evidence of U.S. citizenship prior to registering to vote. This decision is an outrage and a slap in the face to all Arizonans who care about the integrity of their elections..."

Then we have this.

When Maria Gianni is knocking on voters' doors, she's not bashful about telling people she is in the country illegally. She knows it's a risk to advertise to strangers that she's here illegally -- but one worth taking in what she sees as a crucial election.

The 42-year-old is one of dozens of volunteers -- many of them illegal immigrants -- canvassing neighborhoods in the Seattle area trying to get naturalized citizens to cast a ballot for candidates like Democratic Sen. Patty Murray, who is in a neck-and-neck race with Republican Dino Rossi.

Pramila Jayapal, head of OneAmerica Votes, says the campaign is about empowering immigrants who may not feel like they can contribute to a campaign because they can't vote.

"Immigrants really do matter," Jayapal said. "If we can't vote ourselves, we're gonna knock on doors, or get family members to vote."

In close elections across the country, the immigrant and minority vote is considered key for candidates, especially Democrats.

"In order for there to be a change to our broken immigration system," she said, "I believe one has to fight."

OUR!?!?!

And this.

... in a 2006 congressional race in southern California between Republican Brian Bilbray and Democrat Francine Busby, Busby told a room full of illegal  aliens that they didn't need "papers" — meaning identification — to vote. Thank goodness it was recorded and played on talk radio shows across the nation. Busby lost because she got caught saying what many other Democrats may tell illegal aliens.

A recent study released by the conservative think-tank the Heritage Foundation provides proof that illegal aliens and immigrants with green cards are committing rampant voter fraud in the United States.

Many government officials — mostly liberals — claim that illegal aliens voting is not a major problem. Conservative activists respond that while the potential number identified may be small, an election can be decided by a few votes. In 2000, the presidential race between Democrat Al Gore and Republican George W. Bush was decided by a few hundred votes in Florida.

And finally this, perhaps the most disgraceful manifestation of cheap, underhanded, dirty political tricks I've ever seen.

When Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. installed Thomas E. Perez as assistant attorney general for the Civil Rights Division, he emphasized the importance of being ready to confront 21st-century issues and doing so in a timely manner. He warned his new assistant, "The quest for justice must be an impatient thing - for we all know what happens when justice is delayed. So I am an impatient attorney general."

Military voters know what happens when justice is delayed.

Notwithstanding overwhelming evidence in 2008 that military voters needed at least 45 days to receive and return their absentee ballots, the Voting Section of the Civil Rights Division stood by as more than 20 states failed to provide military voters with sufficient time to vote. This failure alone cost thousands of military members the right to vote.

Thousands more may suffer the same fate in 2010 despite congressional efforts to modernize military vote law. The Military and Overseas Voter Empowerment Act (MOVE Act), which was passed in 2009, was the most significant voter reform in 25 years. At its core, the law requires states to mail absentee ballots at least 45 days before an election and requires states to use electronic delivery mechanisms to expedite the delivery of absentee ballots to military members.

Now, 10 months after its passage, nearly one-third of the states have failed to implement one or more of the key provisions of the MOVE Act. At least 11 states (Hawaii, New York, Delaware, Alaska, Washington, Maryland, Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Rhode Island, New Hampshire and Colorado) and the District of Columbia have not implemented the 45-day deadline for mailing absentee ballots. At least five states (Alabama, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Missouri and New Hampshire) have not implemented the electronic-delivery requirement under the MOVE Act.

For its part, the Voting Section appears to be in no hurry to enforce the new law and, more problematic, appears to be hiding how many states have failed to comply fully with the MOVE Act.

This latter point was evident in a recent letter to Sen. John Cornyn, Texas Republican. While the letter repeatedly emphasized the department's commitment to enforce the law, it avoided Mr. Cornyn's specific request to identify noncompliant states. Nor did the letter answer Mr. Cornyn's question about the department's plan to ensure full compliance with the MOVE Act. Instead, the department promised to meet with Mr. Cornyn at a future date.

Given Holder's lack of action on clear-cut cases of voter intimidation by liberals against conservatives, is it any surprise that the justice dept. is dragging its feet when it comes to military absentee ballots, giiven that most of them tend to go conservative?

Our military can't vote. Illegal aliens and prisoners can.

2,600 inmates in more than 35 various Illinois Counties received applications and ballots to vote for the 2010 Midterm Elections at their jail.  The applications and ballots were delivered by-hand from the Chicago Board of Elections.  Of course, anything Chicago equates to all things Democrat.

The contrast was mentioned, naturally, that the numbers of inmates receiving applications and ballots to assist them in voting are approximately the same number of servicemen and servicewomen in foreign countries who will most likely not be able to vote since Illinois sent the ballots out late.  It was also mentioned that, by law, incarcerated persons are not supposed to vote.

Hand delivered by democrap officials to people who, by law, are not allowed to vote. ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Bottom line - we know they're gonna cheat, so we have to get enough legal, valid, and incontrovertible votes to beat them no matter what.

Get out there and vote early and often...

Adding Insult To Injury

Cleaning out a few old files unearthed the following examples of adding insult to injury. The amazing thing is that all these stories appeared on the same day (May 27, 2010).

The stories speak for themselves. Any additional comment would be superfluous...

Swimmer drowned; sunbather injured as rescuers accidentally run him over with SUV

The summer beach season got off to a deadly and calamitous start yesterday as a Brooklyn man drowned at  Long Beach and authorities racing to help another swimmer accidentally ran over a sunbather, crushing his spine.

Witnesses say the driver of the police SUV had no clue he had run over the  sunbather until he was flagged down by beachgoers. The victim was taken to a nearby hospital and said to have a broken spine and rib.

Family asked to pay for car damage after dog run over

A car insurer has asked a Canadian family to pay for repairing a broken bumper after their dog was struck by the vehicle and died, local media said Thursday.

The traffic accident occurred in March while Jake, a 12-year-old yellow Labrador, was out for his daily stroll around a quiet neighborhood in Aurora, Ontario, north of Toronto.

Kim Flemming had let the dog out when she arrived home from work. Moments later, a man knocked on the door to say a car had run over Jake.

Two months later, the family received a bill in the mail for 1,732.80 Canadian dollars (1,648.95 US) from State Farm Insurance.

The letter said Flemming had been found responsible for damage to the vehicle. "As such, we are looking to you for reimbursement," it reportedly stated.

State Farm spokesman John Bordignon told the Star: "They could have made sure their dog wasn't free on the roadway."

A local bylaw requires pets to be on a leash when off the owner's property, but the Flemmings said Jake had become accustomed to roaming outside the family's home.

Swedish court convicts dead man for assault

A 26-year-old man was tried on charges assault in Stockholm district court on May 27th 2009. While the court found him not guilty the prosecutor elected to appeal the case.

When the date for the hearing arrived, on April 19th 2010, the court concluded after a delay that the defendant would not be attending, but it was decided that the matter could be dealt with in absentia.

The Svea Court of Appeal overturned the district court ruling and found the man guilty of assault, issuing a fine of 15,000 ($1,886) and setting a deadline date for an appeal of May 24th.

But information submitted to the court after the hearing indicates that an appeal is not to be expected as the convicted man died on March 25th 2010.

"Now the appeals court has in the meantime convicted a deceased person, without any prior convictions, which existing rules do not allow," Malmö chief prosecutor Jörgen Lindberg writes in a letter appealing the court's ruling.

"In such circumstances the prosecutor should take the initiative to request this, in my view erroneous, conviction changed and the district court's ruling confirmed, or alternatively set aside."