Monday, November 15, 2010

Two-Fer

Today's post is a two-for-one special. You get a news-of-the-absurd story that I cleverly combine with a FOD post. I'm feeling quite proud of myself.

And now, the news...

Woman Attacks Cop With Sex Toy
A Gurnee woman faces aggravated assault and other charges after police say she threatened to hit an officer with a female sex toy.

Carolee Bildsten, 56, faces single misdemeanor counts of aggravated assault and theft of labor after being arrested at her home Tuesday, Gurnee Deputy Police Chief Kevin Woodside said in a news release issued Thursday.

The incident started at 7:20 p.m. when Bildsten walked out on her tab at Joe's Crab Shack in the 5600 block of Northridge Drive in Gurnee, officials said in the news release.

Police were notified about the bill, and checked the area to see if Bildsten could be located, Woodside said. Police found her laying in the grass on the south side of Grand Avenue, near Six Flags Great America.
That should have been a great big red flag.
The officer spoke with the woman and told her to pay her bill or she would be arrested. Bildsten said her money was at her home, which was a short walk away, according to the news release.

The officer escorted her to the apartment in the 5300 block of David Avenue. Bildsten went to the bedroom to retrieve the money from her dresser, Woodside said.

However, rather than getting the money, she removed a “clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device” from her dresser, held it over her head, and approached the officer in a threatening manner, Woodside said in the release.

The officer knocked the device away before being struck, Woodside said, and arrested the woman. The officer was not injured.
"A clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" - I wonder how long it took the officer to come up with that description. Although if she was holding it over her head, rather than below waist level, I wouldn't feel too threatened.

A picture of the woman is below. From the photo it's obvious why she needed "a clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device." It'd take a boatload of Shiner before anyone would go out with this whacko.

















And here's her weapon of choice.




















If you're interested you can buy one here.

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