One Bad NIght

Can't a Guy Have 'One Bad Night?'

Jaws may have dropped over Charlie Sheen's New York hotel adventure (story below), but the Two and a Half Men actor isn't stressing.

"If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics," Sheen, 45, tells Extra. "I'm not panicking."

Charlie Sheen Found Drunk and Naked in New York Hotel

Charlie Sheen was found drunk and reportedly naked in a New York hotel early Tuesday morning.

"Police responded to a call for an intoxicated male," a source confirms to PEOPLE. Sheen, 45, was taken to the hospital "in the company of a female, unharmed." He was removed from the scene for "for alcohol abuse and psychological evaluation" and considered an "aided case," meaning no arrest was made.

According to Sheen's rep, "What we are able to determine is that Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where is expected to be released tomorrow."

Ah yes, the old "adverse allergic reaction" line. Boy, if I'd thought to parlay that one with the "Can't a guy have one bad night?" line I could have avoided so much unpleasantness with everyone from ex-wives to police. Both groups tend to overreact to a little exuberance.

Of course, we might have had to amend it to "Can't a guy have a few bad nights?"

In any event, all that is ancient history. The records have been sealed, the statute of limitations has expired, and I'm now a respected and upstanding member of society, entrusted with educating the youth of America.

If they only knew...