Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The World Has Gone Crazy

I don't know what's going on these days. Normally I'd suspect a full moon, but this month it doesn't occur until the 21st


Anyway, we now have these two stories of bizarre assaults to go along with yesterday's post about the cop attacked with a sex toy


Wanton Tamale Assault 
A Florida woman was arrested Saturday morning for domestic battery after allegedly assaulting her boyfriend with a plate of tamales. The woman told cops that she tossed the corn-based projectiles at her boyfriend after he called her a “bitch” in front of the couple’s one-year-old son.
According to the police report, deputies responded to a 911 call. Upon their arrival, officers found the alleged victim, Roberto Olvera, with “tamale sauce all over his pants.”
As officers were interviewing Olvera, the woman “burst in interrupting him telling him to tell me that he called her a bitch” during an argument earlier in the day, and that “she threw the tamales on him because she is not going to let him call her a bitch in front of her son and get away with it."
The woman was booked into the Manatee County Jail on a misdemeanor battery count. She was released after posting $500 bond.
Seems like a bit of an over-reaction. He called her a bitch, she threw tamales at him. He wasn't injured; all that happened was that his pants got tamale sauce on them. No harm, no foul. Sounds like a fair exchange to me.


First a dildo, now tamales. What's next - a ninja attack cat?




Never mind.


Then we have the case of the pissed off girlfriend who decided that she didn't want her name tattooed on her boyfriend's neck after they broke up. Rather than employ that new-fangled laser tattoo technology, this gal went all old school on the dude.
Following an argument with her boyfriend, a knife-wielding Nebraska woman allegedly attempted to cut off a tattoo of her name from the man’s neck.
Tressa Amerson, 19, was jailed Friday night on a domestic assault charge following an altercation with her boyfriend Ronald Miner.
Miner told officers that he and Amerson “had been having ongoing relationship problems for the past week.” 
There's a candidate for Understatement of the Year.
Miner said Amerson “grabbed a knife and attempted to cut the tattoo of her name off his neck.”
In an interview, Miner said that he got the 2” x 2” “Tressa” tattoo in late-July and has been dating Amerson for about a year. Asked if he considered Amerson his girlfriend, Miner replied, “kinda, sorta, not really,” before adding, “she’s pretty crazy.” 
And we have another contender for Understatement of the Year. Two from the same story - not bad. 


Something to think about before you get someone else's name permanently inked on your body. Although to be fair, it seems that if tequila can cause you to get a tat or two, it should also be able to remove said tats...


3 comments:

JT said...

Personal, horrified bystander experience; a beltsander is an effective, though not scar-free, tattoo removal method.

Home on the Range said...

No tat's but I have this scar on the upper left. . . uh. . . chest area that looks like a small bite. Gets lots of comments in a low cut shirt, but it was from a poorly engineered biopsy. I prefer to use the Jewish Ninja with an Overbite story.

CenTexTim said...

Harper - Using a beltsander to remove a tattoo implies either (1) a really, really bitter breakup; or (2) massive quantities of tequila.

Brigid - When in doubt go with whatever makes the better story.