Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Funnies 2014.11.16

I posted a little blurb a few days ago about some political correctness-inspired stupidity:

School Cancels Veteran’s Day Ceremony… Because of 21-Gun Salute
Yesterday America honored its men and women in uniform for their bravery and sacrifice, unless that is, you live in Wisconsin’s Eau Claire School District where celebrating our liberties and freedoms should only be done when it’s convenient and politically correct.
For more than 80 years, a local Wisconsin school district had hosted a Veterans Day program to honor former soldiers, featuring a traditional 21-gun salute. But after reports earlier this year of parents and students feeling “uneasy” about the firing of guns on school grounds — even with blank rounds, as is customary in the 21-gun salute — the Eau Claire School District canceled the program.
That bit of lunacy has stuck in my head all week. So today we're poking fun at political correctness - a form of speech and behavior designed to avoid offending whiny pussies.


 Q: WHAT IS P.C.?

PC stands for Politically Correct. We of the Politically Correct philosophy believe in increasing tolerance for a DIVERSITY of cultures, race, gender, ideology and alternate lifestyles. Political Correctness is the only social and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees with this philosophy is bigoted, biased, sexist, and/or closed-minded.

Q: I AM A WHITE MALE. CAN I STILL BE PC?

Sure. You just have to feel very guilty.

Q: HOW DO I KNOW IF AN ACTION IS UN-PC?

Good question. It's important to know when someone is saying or doing something insensitive so that you can have that person removed from society. The guideline is as follows:

Is the confrontation between two white people?
Yes -> The liberal is right.
No -> The white person is oppressing the ethnic person.


This political correctness has gone mad. I can't even refer to my child as "my disabled son."
Apparently the correct term these days is "daughter."


Following a sexist joke I made the other day, the Feminist Society now has my address.
Fortunately none of them can read a map.


Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: THAT ISN'T FUNNY!


Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.


Q: What is the difference between  government bonds and men?
A: The bonds mature.


A three year old boy in his bath examined his testicles and asked, “Mommy, are these my brains?” Mom said, “Not yet, honey.”


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.


A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"

Customer says, "Female"

Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"

Customer says, "white"

Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"

Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"

Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"


Police just found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

















3 comments:

Old NFO said...

Yep, pretty much all true!!!

Well Seasoned Fool said...

One of these will end up on Facebook.

CenTexTim said...

NFO - there were a bunch more I could have posted. I'm so sick of all that PC crap...

WSF - only one...? :-)