Tempus Fugit

I spent the weekend with a group of old friends. These are people that I knew in my previous 'corporate world' career, back when I used to work for a living before I changed professions and became a university professor.

That was 17 long years ago. We've been getting together every year since to swap lies, play golf, and drink beer. Over time hairlines have receded (or in my case, disappeared entirely) ,waistlines have expanded, and joints have stiffened (with one exception...). But for some reason this was the first time I noticed that everyone had gotten old.

People were moving slowly, having trouble bending over, forgetting names and stories, and generally looking like a bunch of rapidly-going-downhill senior citizens (for the record, most us us are somewhere between the mid-50s to mid 60s). The conversation one night was devoted solely to those of our group who had died over the years. Sadly, it's not a small number.

Then Monday morning I went to the eye doctor for my annual checkup. After the usual "Which is better, number one, or number 2?" routine, he informed me that my eyes were in great shape. Then he added four little words that I'm starting to hear more and more these days:

"For someone your age."

That phrase is popping up more and more lately.

You're looking good. For someone your age.

You do that very well. For someone your age.

You're in pretty good shape. For someone your age.

I swear, the next fool that says "For someone your age" to me is in for a rude surprise. I'm gonna whack 'em upside the head with my cane.

Anyway, while I was struggling with the realization that I'm no longer a young man, the following appeared in my in-box (thanks a lot, Bots).

I know some of you will not understand this message, but I bet you know someone who might.  I came across this phrase yesterday. 'FENDER SKIRTS.'

A term I haven't heard in a long time, and thinking about 'fender skirts' started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice  like 'curb feelers.'

And 'steering knobs.' (AKA 'suicide knob' or 'necker  knob.')

Any kids will probably have to find some older person over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember 'Continental kits?'  They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

When did we quit calling them 'emergency brakes?'  At some point 'parking brake' became the proper term.  But I miss the hint of drama that went with 'emergency brake.'

I'm sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the 'foot feed.'  Many today do not even know what a clutch is, or that the dimmer switch (and starter) used to be on the floor.

And don’t forget the ‘manual choke.’

Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the 'running board' up to the house?

Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore -'store-bought.'   Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days.  But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.

'Coast to coast' is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing.  Now we take the term 'world wide' for granted.  This floors me.

On a smaller scale, 'wall-to-wall' was once a magical term in our homes.  In the '50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting!  Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors.   Go figure.

When was the last time you heard the quaint phrase 'in a family way?'  It's hard to imagine that the word 'pregnant' was once considered a little too graphic, a little too clinical for use in polite company, so we had all that talk about stork visits and 'being in a family way' or simply 'expecting.'

Apparently, 'brassiere' is a word no longer in usage.  I said it the other day and my daughter cracked up.  I guess it's just 'bra' now.  'Unmentionables' probably wouldn't be understood at all.

I always loved going to the 'picture show,' but I considered 'movie' an affectation.

Most of these words go back to the '50s, but here's a pure '60s word I came across the other day: 'rat fink.'  Ooh, what a nasty put-down!

Here's a word I miss - 'percolator.'  That was just a fun word to say.  And what was it replaced with? 'Coffee maker.'  How dull...  Mr. Coffee, I blame you for this.

I miss those made-up marketing words that were meant to sound so modern and now sound so retro.  Words like 'DynaFlow' and’ Electrolux.'  Introducing the 1963 Admiral TV, now with 'SpectraVision!'

Food for thought.  Was there a telethon that wiped out lumbago?  Nobody complains of that anymore.  Maybe that's what Castor oil cured, because I never hear mothers threatening kids with Castor oil anymore.

Someone forwarded this to me. Just for fun, pass it along to others you think will appreciate it.

Just don't say "This should be interesting ... for someone your age."