A man, called in for an IRS audit, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let them think you are a pauper."
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Wear your most elegant suit and tie. Do not let them intimidate you."
Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.
"Let me tell you a story," replied the rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck,' said her mother. But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. 'Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel."
The man asked, "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"
The rabbi replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"
A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station. People were crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over. They were all shouting "Give me your hand!" but the man would not reach up.
A man elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned over the man.
"Friend," he asked, "what is your profession?"
"I am an IRS agent," gasped the man.
"In that case," said the first man, "take my hand!"
The man immediately grasped the other man's hand and was hauled to safety.
The rescuer turned to the amazed bystanders and declared, "Never ask a tax agent to GIVE you anything, you fools!"
A man walks into a bar accompanied by his pet alligator.
"Do you serve IRS agents?", he asks the barman.
"Of course", says the barman.
"In that case," replies the man, "I'll have a beer, and my alligator will have an IRS agent."
I wouldn't mind paying taxes so much if only the money was used for really valid expenses.
Finally, if only it were this easy...
2 comments:
Good ones, and love the Snoopy one!!!
I wish...
Post a Comment