Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Men Are Pigs - 2013.11.13

Ladies, please note: the following do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of the management here at Bergheim Follies. We have just reposted them to provide further evidence that men are, in fact, politically incorrect pigs.

Albeit pigs with a sense of humor...
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
The wife suggested I get  myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her  name's  Kathy.

Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me,  just  because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

The cost of living has now  gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford  batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

I was  explaining to my wife last  night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a  different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,  "You obviously haven't been  listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The  police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.


Harper said...

Think I might have wanted to read your take on Dave Wilson, but this was entertaining.

CenTexTim said...

I was going to say something along the same lines that you did, with perhaps an added comment more directly relating Wilson's election by people blindly voting for a candidate based on skin color to the election and re-election of obama.

To paraphrase Darrel Royal, “Low information voters are like a bunch of cockroaches. It’s not what they eat and tote off. It’s what they get into and mess up that hurts.”

Old NFO said...

ROTF... Yeah, you're in trouble!

CenTexTim said...

NFO - Yeah, if my wife read this blog I'd be in hot H2O up to my neck.