Albeit pigs with a sense of humor...
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Kathy.
Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
4 comments:
Think I might have wanted to read your take on Dave Wilson, but this was entertaining.
I was going to say something along the same lines that you did, with perhaps an added comment more directly relating Wilson's election by people blindly voting for a candidate based on skin color to the election and re-election of obama.
To paraphrase Darrel Royal, “Low information voters are like a bunch of cockroaches. It’s not what they eat and tote off. It’s what they get into and mess up that hurts.”
ROTF... Yeah, you're in trouble!
NFO - Yeah, if my wife read this blog I'd be in hot H2O up to my neck.
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