Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sunday Funnies 2012.05.06

I am done grading all my final exams, and am basically finished for the semester. Life is good!

For the final exam, our university's creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

One student received an A+. Her read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

I'm pretty strict with my students regarding their attendance for the final exam. This semester I told them "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class started laughing and snickering. When silence was restored, I looked at the kid and said, "Well, I guess you'd have to answer the exam with your other hand."

A pretty young coed came to my office the day before the final. She looke up and down the hall, closed my office door, and knelt on the floor.”I would do anything to pass this exam,” she said.

Leaning closer,she whispered seductively, “I mean, anything.”

I looked down at her and said,”Anything?”

“Anything” she replied again.

I spoke softly to her, “Would….you…”


Pascvaks said...

Sorry to say that way back when, I never let books get in the way of my education. Only failed one course, an old geezer PhD who thought he was a hippie, this guy was so spaced that it was very painful to sit there and listen to him, he couldn't teach a flea to jump. Though I've hated the memory of him for the last ~42 years, he taught me more about people and the 'hard' facts of life in the real world than any of the others. Everyone teaches us something. Some teach us more than we ever wanted to know. Oh.. and 'no one follows the book'.

Harper said...

My daughter is living that Venn diagram. Sat for her IB math exams this week and the one thing her math teacher said is rarely on the test (and didn't spend much time on) was central to the test. The kids filed out of the exam room looking shell shocked. Heck, I looked at one of the practice exams online and half of it might as well be Mandarin. (Proof my kid is now (book) smarter than me).

CenTexTim said...

Pascvaks - education starts when you get out of school.

Harper - I'm impressed that you know what a Venn diagram is... :-)

Old NFO said...

LOL, yep, NOT so fond memories... Which reminds me I need to finish that on line class... dammit