Since I recently turned 60, I decided to visit the doctor for a thorough physical.
After an initial exam, a follow-up appointment, and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said I was doing "fairly well" for someone my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked: "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."
"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"
"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself".
"Do you eat bacon, sausage, steaks, or ribs?"
I said, "No. That type of food is unhealthy! I usually eat salads and a little chicken or fish."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like hunting, fishing, playing golf, or sailing?"
"No, I don't," I said.
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"
I’m Talking Whores, People.
1 day ago
2 comments:
Your doctor makes a good point. There is absolutely no reason for you to worry about living until your 80+. While it is true that 'the good die young' it is also true that 'the best die very old indeed'. Have a feeling that you really need to reevaluate your lifestyle or you're going to hang around a lot longer than you really want to. If you doubt what I'm saying, don't; I know whereof I speak, in about 4 years you'll feel as old as I do now.
Get a life. Let your hair grow. Use it before you lose it. Life's a beach! (some spell it differently;-)
*Rim shot*
Oldie but a goodie.
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