A very sweet old Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Texas one day.
As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children.
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, think of the Alamo ."
He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''
She replied, ''Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you damn Yankee."
A man decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Green Bay, Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and got the same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Texas . Upon entering a church in San Antonio, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church, I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?"
The pastor, smiling, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now. This is God's country...it's a local call."
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