Thursday, September 20, 2012

Last One For Tonight

My home away from home down here in South Texas has a somewhat unique tradition called a beer run. It's not the beer run that comes to mind of most of you - that is, a quick trip to the store to pick up a fresh supply of suds.

No, the South Texas version refers to a drive-through facility that sells you cold beer without the need for you to get out of the car, all the while being surrounded by scantily clad females gyrating obscenely.



Needless to say, the combination of beer, near-naked women, and late night hours often leads to anti-social behavior. Sometimes young punks, emboldened by the beer and fueled by excess testosterone, cross the line from good times to bad.

Rest assured, however, that the beer run folks can take care of themselves.
A man who went into (a beer run) demanding money instead got a 7-inch stiletto heel to the head, Laredo police say.

About 1 a.m. Sunday, the man pistol-whipped a Papi Chulos employee in the face and demanded money, then tried to force open a door to access the register, Laredo police spokesman Joe Baeza said.

The employee then lunged toward the man and tried to take the gun, Baeza said. During the struggle, the gun went off and struck the man in his right inner thigh, and other employees began hitting him.

“One of the female employees was successful in (taking) the handgun from the grip of the man", Baeza said. Employees “used personal weapons, including a 7-inch stiletto heel, to pummel the suspect until they were able to subdue him and take away the weapon.”
First of all, I've never considered a 7-inch stiletto heel to be a personal weapon. If Eric Holder ever hears of this, pretty soon exotic dancers will be required to get a concealed carry license.

Second, can you imagine the reception that dude got in the city lock-up?

"What happened to you, hombre?"

"I got nailed by some beer-run dancer's high heel."

Oh yeah, that'll work out well for him...

7 comments:

Toejam said...

"First of all, I've never considered a 7-inch stiletto heel to be a personal weapon. If Eric Holder ever hears of this, pretty soon exotic dancers will be required to get a concealed carry license."

Talk about Walking weapons across the border, tha'd be LITERALLY "Wakin 'em"

Pascvaks said...

No doubt now we'll start seeing racks of 'em in the back windows of pickup trucks. What will they think of next?;-)

Bag Blog said...

We don't see many dancing girls on the street here in OK. Fascinating.

CenTexTim said...

Toejam - more like strutting them across...

Pascvaks - haven't you ever heard of shore racks?

Bag Blog - Drive through facilities like that are fairly common in Texas. They're called beverage barns, and they're basically a convenience store with a road running through it. You can get the same stuff you get at a Stop-N-Go or 7-11: beer, soft drinks, chips, cigarettes, etc. What is unique to South Texas is the use of go-go dancers to lure customers. I've only seen it here. Helps keep the unemployment rate down, I guess.

Pascvaks said...

@CenTexTim "Haven't you ever heard of shore racks?"
Nahhhhhh.. I see'd shotgun racks and rifle racks and fishin'pol racks and hat racks, even saw a axe handle rack once in a movie.. what's a' shore rack? Gotta' pic?

You pullin' ma' leg?;-)

CenTexTim said...

bad editing - should have been SHOE rack...

Pascvaks said...

Now I CAN imagine that!;-)