Punday

I hope your Father's Day was as good as mine. In fact, mine was so good that I've got nothing worthwhile for today, so I'm going to subject you to a few puns. According to no less an authority than Alfred Hitchcock, "Puns are the highest form of literature." So enjoy...

Science Marches On

Science is an amazing thing. I learned several things from the following article. Perhaps the most surprising is that it takes all mammals, regardless of species, size, or gender, approximately 21 seconds to urinate.

For more interesting tidbits, read on.

Peeing In The Shower Makes Ecological Sense

To pee or not to pee in the shower, that is the question. Various surveys have shown that lots of people do it—one questionnaire on BuzzFeed found that more than 80% of those surveyed say they do.

Okay, I'll fess up. There has been a time or two when I indulged. Now I'm finding out that what began as an act of convenience/laziness is actually helping to save the earth.

... relieving ourselves while showering can help conserve water. In fact, estimating that people pee on average seven times a day, the site calculates that taking away one 1.6-gallon flush across 319 million Americans every day could conserve 185 billion gallons of water a year, which is no small matter.

According to the research, in the 21 seconds it takes the average person to relieve themselves, 0.875 gallons of water will escape the shower head. Now consider that the new low-flow toilets use 1.6 gallons per flush, while millions of older toilets still in use require even more to flush urine away. The water savings are obvious.

And for those who wipe when they pee, they could save an entire roll of toilet paper every 50 days.

Of course, if you're a guy like me who lives out in the country, you have yet another option that requires no water at all. Just don't let your wife catch you. Mine is totally unconvinced by arguments that treating the great outdoors as one giant mens room saves time (so I can be remain more focused on my chores) and keeps me from tracking dirt into the house.

So there you have it. If you want to help keep the Earth green, plus save on your water bills, just 'let go' during your morning shower.

Stay tuned for more Earth-friendly tips...

Pretty Pictures

Still dealing with a few issues, as mentioned yesterday. In the meantime, please enjoy these pretty pictures.

Wine cooler.

When It Rains, It Pours

I spent most of yesterday preparing for a hearing regarding a protest of our property tax appraisal. It went up 25% from 2015 to 2016. And I can guaran-damn-tee that (1) our home wasn't underappraised to begin with; and (2) its market value didn't jump by one-fourth over the past twelve months.

Anyway, while I was working on that I received the news that a good friend of our was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He goes in for surgery to remove it Friday, and from there immediately proceeds to chemo. He's a great guy, does everything right - exercises daily, eats well, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink to excess - all that good stuff. A classic example of bad things happening to good people.

At almost the same time I heard that another friend had a nervous breakdown of sorts, and yet another became embroiled in a legal situation not entirely of his making.

Bad news comes in threes, I guess.

Anyway, I have neither the time nor the inclination to spend much time on this blog right now, so I'll just throw up a few random images.

Hope your day is going better than mine...

And for my buddy with the tumor:

Wyoming Wednesday

I'm currently relaxing in the Wyoming mountains. I've been up here since Sunday. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology I'll bet y'all didn't even notice.

I came up here to spend a few days with an old friend. I'll head for home Thursday. I'll go into more detail when I get home.

Internet connectivity is pretty iffy up here. My last few posts were written and queued up before I left. I think (hope!) that I can get this one to post, but I'm not too sure about Thursday. I guess you'll just have to check back and see...  😊

In the meantime, here's my opinion on the presidential race.

Electile Dysfunction - The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party...

Caution - Road Sign Ahead

Following up on yesterday's minirant in favor of small government, here's another installment illustrating to what extent we are subject to its often-hard-to-fathom whims.

Government Reverses Its Course on Highway Fonts

Highway signs will soon get a new look—or an old one, depending on your perspective. According to CityLab, the U.S. Federal Highway Administration (FHWA) recently announced they will change fonts from Clearview—a typeface designed to improve legibility for drivers—to Highway Gothic, a font that was developed in the 1940s and used on road signs until 2004.

... Highway Gothic was problematic for aging drivers with poor eyes, since its letters turned into a bright blur from the reflection of headlights at night. In contrast, Clearview was less tightly spaced, and mixed lowercase and uppercase styles. Designers thought this would help people see sign lettering better in the dark and from long distances.

So far, so good. Who could argue with making road signs easier to read, especially for old farts with failing vision, like yours truly.

Initial studies suggested that Clearview was easier for drivers to read, and in 2004 around 30 states chose the font for their own signs when the FHWA gave them the option to switch.

Ah, but the plot thickens...

Now, according to CityLab, the FHWA says that research shows that Clearview actually makes it harder to read signs ... the reason Clearview might have seemed easier to read was simply because the new font meant that older, worn-down signs were being replaced with fresh ones.

Ten years and who knows how many taxpayer dollars to figure out that new signs are easier to read than old, faded ones.

Sigh...

The FHWA stopped approving Clearview at least two years ago. In the meantime, signs with Clearview lettering won’t be taken down, but as they age they will be replaced with Highway Gothic signs.

Here's the difference.

Click to embiggen.

Only a government agency could spend a decade, along with tons of cash, on something as trivial as this.

Self Identity

This post is a little on the long side, and tends to meander a bit before it gets to the point. But please bear with me - I think (hope)you'll enjoy it. It eventually raises some interesting questions. So pour yourself a drink of your choice, settle back, and enjoy.

I've been an Allen West fan ever since he first appeared on the political horizon. I was thrilled when he was first elected to congress, and disappointed when he didn't get re-elected. Since then I've followed him as he spoke out on various issues, finding myself nodding in agreement much more often than not.

A few days ago he was elected to the NRA's Board of Directors. At about the same time, this image highlighting the difference between the Huffington Post's Editorial Board and the NRA Board of Directors appeared.

One organization preaches the virtues of 'diversity,' yet is composed of all white women. The other is vilified by the media, yet is more of a cross-section of America.

Can you say "Do as I say, not as I do?"

Speaking of diversity, we have this individual, who certainly is a favorite for the gold medal in the Diversity Olympics.

If there’s a high bar for which social justice warriors strive, surely it was set by Britain’s first transgender gay Muslim woman.

Amid the ongoing bathroom wars in America, conservative blogger Brandon Morse took to social media to call attention to Lucy Vallender...

Vallender, formerly known as Laurens before “he” became true to “herself,” is a former British soldier who had a sex operation in 2010 to switch out his male parts for female parts. Vallender would later convert to Islam, saying it’s a “peaceful” religion and take things even further by marrying a Muslim man the ex-soldier met on an online dating site.

Okay, if you look closely at the above image, in the upper left hand corner you'll see the date it was first posted - Sep. 4, 2013. But the fact that the story is three years old doesn't make it any more stupid. Converting to islam because it's 'the religion of peace' makes about as much sense as going to an orgy because you're in favor of chastity.

As for the rest of the story, well, maybe there's been so much of this self-identification nonsense in the news lately that I've just become numb. And here's where we come to the main point of this post.

This article is not satire. It offers a series of philosophical discussion points that I'm sure many people share these days...

So here's the logical question in pursuing the "self identity" trend that progressive society is now exploring. Today's society has arrived at a place where it largely accepts the idea that people can choose their gender. A person can be born as a male, but decide to identify as a female... Can a person choose their race, too?

Put another way, society currently accepts the idea of a person choosing to be transgender. So is it then okay for someone to be trans-race? And if that's accepted, then what about trans-species? Carried to its logical extreme, can a white male human being declare to the world that he's actually a female Peruvian llama?

What if John Doe, for example, wants to self-identify as a "Spotted Owl"?

Or maybe Jane Doe wants to identify as a member of the Delphinus delphis species... the common dolphin. Maybe she can even learn to speak dolphin and order in dolphin at the McDonald's drive-through.

There are, indeed, people who have come to believe they are certain animals. Dennis Avner, for example, believes he is a great cat, and he has undergone extreme biological modifications in an attempt to adopt the shape and structure of a great cat. The following photo is not Photoshopped:

I hope you see the point in this serious discussion. If people can choose to decide to be something which they are not from a physical or biological perspective, then is there any real meaning to concepts like male, female, Caucasian, African or even human?

Even more interestingly, could humans add themselves to endangered species lists by simply announcing they are an endangered species? "I'm Otto the Spotted Owl." The implications for the EPA and the U.S. government would be quite fascinating. For example, to my knowledge, I don't think the IRS can levy taxes on Spotted Owls. So if a person announces they are a Spotted Owl, are they now a "sovereign animal" that's protected by the government in their "habitat" apartment?

Without question, a court judge would denounce a person trying to claim they are a spotted owl. But let's follow the logic here. That judge would say, "You are obviously not a spotted owl. You weren't born a spotted owl and if we run a genetic test on your cells, they would not be consistent with a spotted owl."

Let's take that same test and run it against Rachel Dolezal. Following that test, a court judge would say much the same thing: "You are obviously not black. You weren't born black and if we run a genetic test on your cells, they would not be consistent with an African-American."

Tracking this same logic back to Bruce Jenner, a court judge would also be forced to conclude much the same: "You weren't born female and if we run a genetic test on your cells, they would not be consistent with a female."

From a genetics point of view, then, Bruce Jenner is a male, Rachel Dolezal is white, and John Doe is not a spotted owl. But that's not how progressive society recognizes them, at least not with Jenner. They are recognized according to how they WISH to be identified.

Restated, the question that emerges from all this is as follows:

Should society treat people as they physically are, or as they psychologically WISH to be? In other words, where does freedom to choose collide with the absurd?

I don't know about you, but I think we've already passed that point of absurdity...

In other words, reality now has no meaning because what we're being taught is that there is no objective reality when it comes to people, gender, races and beings. You can decide to be a unicorn, if you want, and who can argue with that? Just don't forget to wear your giant horn. And yes, it's a rainbow-colored strap-on.

This discussion brings up all sorts of important practical questions for society. If people can self-identify their own gender and race, then it becomes immediately obvious that all white people can apply for college scholarships by self-identifying as African-Americans, for example. I'm not condoning this -- the very idea is ludicrous -- yet it's where we now find ourselves in a society that believes everybody can "choose" to be whatever they want to be, despite what they really are.

That's it in a nutshell - "reality now has no meaning."

All this philosophizing has made me thirsty. I think I'll self-identify with several Shiners...

Final Thoughts

Want to leave more money to your heirs? Want to help save the planet? If the answer to one or both of those questions is "Yes" here's an idea for you.

Save Money On A Funeral With A Rental Casket

A rental casket is a good cost-saving option if you want to have a traditional casket at a viewing or funeral but don't want to purchase a casket.

A rental casket is a casket that has a removable interior. The body is placed in a simple wooden box and the box is placed inside the casket, giving the appearance that the body is actually in the casket. In fact, the body never touches the casket, and the wooden box is easily removed after the service. The body can then be buried or cremated in the simple wooden box, and the funeral home can re-use the rental casket.

Purchasing a casket can be a major expense, and many people either don't have the means to pay for a casket or would prefer not to spend such a large sum of money. Using a rental casket can also be seen as an environmentally friendly option, as the rental casket is re-used many times, as opposed to a traditional casket, which is used only once.

Of course, if you're one of those people who don't care what happens after you're gone then you can go ahead and blow a bundle of cash on a fancy casket. But this idea makes a lot of sense to me.

However, if you decide that the rent-a-casket route isn't for you, here's some alternatives.

You might be interested in a used casket.

If you're a 'classic car' fan you might enjoy this model.

There's even a pin-up calendar put out by a casket company.

Finally, always leave 'em laughing...

Wild Animal Undies

Ladies, if you want to make your man feel like a wild animal, here's some underwear that will do the trick.

No, I'm not making this up. You can really buy these and similar undies. More at the link.

If that's not enough for you, how about a wolf 'sausage warmer'?

• 3D wolf pattern print underwear make man looks sexy and wild
• the wide waist design makes a man comfortable - no tight feeling
• U convex design, large space and breathable
• High quality material and great handwork, perfect gift to boyfriend or husband

Let me know how this works out for you...

Tow Trucks And Section 8

Yesterday's post talked about the obama administration moving people from low-income housing to more affluent locations. Here's a bit of a follow-up.

You may recall this story from a few days ago concerning a tow truck driver who refused to tow a car with a Bernie bumper sticker.

Ken Shupe responded to a woman who was stranded on an interstate in North Carolina on Monday. Shupe is a tow truck driver; the woman had been involved in a wreck, according to reports.

But when Shupe arrived, he noticed something about the woman's car — specifically, he noticed that the woman was a supporter of Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders...

"Every business dealing in recent history that I've had with a socialist-minded person, I haven't got paid," Shupe told the station.

He added: "Every time I've dealt with these people in recent history, I get 'Berned.'

So Shupe refused to tow her.

Fox Carolina reported: "When he saw 'a bunch of Bernie Sanders stuff' he said he told the woman, 'very politely,' " that he could not "tow her car because she was 'obviously a socialist' and advised her to 'call the government' for a tow."

Shupe told the ABC station that he'd had "some horrible experiences in the last six months with towing cars for this mindset individuals," in which, he said, he hasn't received payment for services.

"They want to argue about a $50 tow bill, and it turns into just a drama and a fuss," he said, according to WLOS. "And I said, you know, I'm not going to associate with them, and I'm not going to do any business with them."

Okay, fine. He's within his rights to refuse to tow a vehicle. It may not have been the most Christian thing to do, but again, he's within his rights to do so.

Of course, those same rights don't apply to bakers, as we've seen. Those same rights also don't always apply to property owners who don't want to rent to Section 8 housing voucher recipients, as yesterday's post pointed out.

But getting back to the tow truck driver: as Paul Harvey used to say, here's the rest of the story.

This is not the first time a statement of political support has seeped into a business deal this election.

In March, a Colorado landlord advertised a vacant apartment, but indicated in the listing that he wouldn't rent to Trump voters.

The Daily Sentinel reported that at least one caller left a voicemail for Holmes, saying that his policy violated anti-discriminatory federal housing regulations.

A spokesman for the Department of Housing and Urban Development told the newspaper that wasn't the case.

"That has nothing to do with the Fair Housing Act," HUD spokesman Jerry Brown told the Daily Sentinel.

So the tow truck driver is catching all sorts of grief for his refusal to provide a good or service based on his (conservative) political beliefs, but a landlord who does the same thing based on his (liberal) political beliefs gets a free pass. On the other hand, landlords who don't want their property tied up in a government program with all sorts of drawbacks and disadvantages (including but not limited to no recourse for damages and mind-numbing bureaucratic hoops through which one must jump - sources here and here) often have no choice in the matter.

Like Jeff Foxworthy said, "We live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots."

Rules Are Made To Be Broken

All my life I've had an aversion to rules. It made for an interesting childhood, as my parents and I butted heads regularly. One of my first memories is visiting my grandparents when I was around 5 or 6. I was poking around in their basement and found a leather harness attached to a short leash. When I asked my grandmother about it, she told me that as a toddler I would run away and do what I wanted, rather than stay close or come back when called. So they got a harness and leash to keep me under control.

I don't like being told what to do and not do. That's one of the reasons I got out of the Army after three years.

Then I got married...

But that's a long story for another day.

At least I came by my aversion to rules and orders naturally. My father would pick and choose which rules he followed. This caused a few problems, especially since he was a career military man. I recall one occasion where he got into trouble for raffling off his paycheck. He made about twice as much from the raffle as the check was worth. This went on for several months before the brass caught wind of it and put a halt to it.

If you think about it, here in America we're historically conditioned to break the rules. After all, our country was founded by a bunch of people who were fed up with the Crown's rules, and decided to go their own way.

I was raised in Texas, which was likewise founded by a bunch of people who didn't like being told what to do. So I'm a victim of both genealogy and culture. I'm not reckless, however. My rule-breaking is governed by a few ... well ... rules.

Maybe a better way to say it is there are guidelines that can help one become a principled scofflaw.

1. Make sure you know what you're doing. We all like to think we're smarter than the average bear, but sometimes there's a good reason for a rule. Like, for example, "Don't Feed the Bears."

This ended badly for the lady in red.

2. Perform a Cost/Benefits Analysis. It doesn't make sense to break a rule if the potential consequences outweigh any benefits you might gain.

3. Be true to yourself. If a rule forces you to act in a way contrary to your values, ethics, or morals, the hell with it. Do what you believe is right.  (Corollary - if breaking the rule would violate your values, ethics, or morals, then behave yourself.)

Last, beware of blindly following the rules. Doing so can lead to situations like the following.

In closing:

Learn rules carefully so you can break them properly.
 -- Anonymous

If you obey all the rules you'll miss all the fun.
 -- Anonymous

Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
 -- Franklin D Roosevelt quotes

Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
 -- Douglas MacArthur quotes

Good News, Ladies

I am not being judgemental. I am merely passing on information.

I report, you decide...

Women with larger behinds are healthier and more intelligent, study finds

It turns out that having a little "junk in the trunk" is a good thing, health wise. Not only does having a larger derriere boost overall health, but it's tied to increased intelligence and lower risk of chronic disease, according to researchers at the University of Oxford and Churchill Hospital in the United Kingdom.

"There's a lot of evidence that shows that the fat depots are not the same in the body," said Dr. Robert Kushner, a professor of medicine specializing in obesity at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago.

Belly fat "is more metabolically active," explains Kushner, meaning it has a greater effect on the brain and overall body, compared to fat stored in the lower half, which tends to be more stable and invokes fewer cytokines or proteins associated with insulin resistance and the onset of diabetes.

"Having a big butt also favors leptin levels in the female body, which is a hormone (that regulates) weight (and) anti-inflammatory, vascular-protective and anti-diabetic attributes. The adipose tissue of the buttocks traps harmful fatty particles and prevents cardiovascular disease."

Maintaining a larger behind requires significant amounts of Omega 3 fats, which are proven to boost brain function, memory and cognitive abilities. Research also shows that children born to women with wide hips are more intelligent compared to those conceived by thinner and less curvy mothers.

This should make a number of women I know very happy - bigger butts mean healthier bodies and bigger brains.

Plus they're easier to hold on to...

In Local News

Randy posted something recently which prompted this post.

The Big City southeast of where I live is in the midst of its annual 10 day bacchanalia known as Fiesta.

Fiesta San Antonio started in 1891 as a one-parade event as a way to honor the memory of the heroes of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto. It has evolved into one of this nation’s premier festivals with an economic impact of more than $284 million for the Alamo City. Fiesta is the Party With a Purpose. and the funds raised by official Fiesta events provide services to San Antonio citizens throughout the year...

Some 3.5 million party-goers enjoy Fiesta San Antonio. More than 20 percent of Fiesta-goers travel from across the state, the nation, and even the world!

It's a model of community involvement - private sector firms, nonprofit organizations, and everyday people working together for the good of the community.

The (Fiesta) commission itself is funded entirely by the private sector and receives no governmental funding. Instead, it relies heavily on membership dues, retail sales and corporate participation to remain self-sustaining.

Every official Fiesta event that takes place during Fiesta each April is sponsored by a local nonprofit or military organization.

It's a great example of the way different people and organizations can focus on a common goal and come together, as opposed to letting their differences divide them.

Are you listening, political parties and special interest groups?

This year, however, there were some problems early in the celebration. The weather wasn't cooperating.

San Antonio hail storm called costliest in Texas history

Last week’s hail storm in the San Antonio area produced nearly $1.4 billion in estimated insured losses, making it the costliest hail storm in the state’s history.

Insured losses to automobiles from the April 12 storm are expected to reach $560 million, while damage to homes is expected to approach $800 million, the insurance trade association added. More than 110,000 vehicles were damaged, and thousands of homes suffered roof damage.

My nephew and his girl friend live in an apartment that was hit by the storm. They had three windows broken out, and both their cars had their rear windows shattered by the hail.

It wasn't just homes and cars that were damaged.

(A local solar power provider), San Antonio-based OCI Solar Power, lost at least 25 percent of its capacity at its Alamo 2 solar farm just east of San Antonio due to the April 12 hailstorm...

A timetable to restore Alamo 2 to full capacity was uncertain Wednesday. “We are working quickly to have everything replaced,” Waldrum said.

Fortunately, the city has adequate capacity in other fossil fueled plants to make up for the loss of power supplied by the solar farm. But if this had happened in summer, when everyone is running their air conditioners, then we'd probably have rolling blackouts.

In any event, here in the Heart of Texas we know what to do when it hails.

Along with Fiesta, the Spurs are making their annual run in the NBA playoffs.

It’s hard to think of a more exciting time to live in San Antonio than when Spurs Playoff Basketball collides with the city’s Fiesta celebration. Our city comes alive and we show our true colors, from the strength of Silver and Black to the bright doylies of Fiesta.

With the playoffs comes the basketball talking heads and their studio shows. In San Antonio's case, that means the return of Charles Barkley, who has a history of making fun of the women down here.

“There’s some big ol’ women down there. That’s a gold mine for Weight Watchers.”

"Victoria is definitely a secret.. they can't wear no Victoria's Secret down there."

This year, Chuckles took his humor to another level.

“They wear them big ol’ bloomers down there, they can’t get in them cute little panties, they wear bloomers,” Barkley said, failing to stifle laughter.

“Listen, you big ol’ women need to stop … ease up on them churros*,” Barkley said through spurts of uncontrollable chortling.

In his defense, San Antonio consistently ranks in the Top 10 fattest cities nationwide, so he's got a point.

Of course, the ladies of San Antonio didn't take kindly to Sir Charles' remarks.

* For the uninitiated, churros are a fried dough pastry, similar to crullers, often sprinkled with sugar (plain, powdered, or brown), cinnamon, and whatever else strikes the cook's fancy, and sometimes dipped in chocolate (or chocolate milk, or coffee, or whatever else is handy).

Feral Democrats

This won't come as a surprise to anyone in my neck of the woods. We've been seeing more and more feral hogs around here, along with the associated damage. They've plowed up large swatches of our property in their search for grubs and reptiles. They also eat any and all birds and small mammals they come across. They have severely impacted ground-nesting birds such as quail, and gobble down baby deer, goats, and sheep whenever they get the chance.

They remind me of democrats. They consume resources far out of proportion to their numbers. They contribute nothing back to the community. They are destructive pests, there is no effective way to get rid of them, and they breed faster than you can shoot them.

In short, they are one gigantic pain in the ass.

Deer hunters face unwanted competition as feral hog explosion thins herds

Deer hunters are facing competition from a source that is mean, relentless and out of control.

The explosion of feral hogs across the U.S. is threatening the deer population -- spreading disease, dominating the food chain and even, on occasion, killing and eating fawns...

Feral hog carries off a fawn.

"They’re very adaptable and also highly destructive..."

Yep, sure sounds like democrats.

... feral pigs, which can weigh up to 500 pounds, (are) "opportunistic" eaters -- omnivores that feast on anything crossing their path, including deer fawn, other piglets and dead animals ... (they also) carry many diseases, such as leptospirosis, which can infect or kill other animals, like deer, as well as humans.

Again, sounds like the left.

Wild hogs can reproduce by the time they are 6 months old. Feral sows can have two litters per year averaging six piglets per litter, according to wildlife experts. Statisticians have determined that 75 percent of the population must be harvested to maintain a static population... Texas has the highest rate of feral hogs to date, according to environmentalists.

To its credit, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department recognizes feral hogs for the threat they are.

While there are no bag limits or seasons on hunting wild pig in Texas, there are some minor regulations that are common sense anyways. It is illegal to:

    Hunt a feral hog without a valid hunting license.
    Hunt a feral hog on a public road or right-of-way.
    Hunt a feral hog without the landowner’s permission.
    Possess a feral hog or the carcass of a feral pig without the owner’s consent

Other than that, it is open season on those depredating creatures.

Now if we could just get the same rules passed for liberals...

Placeholders

I'm out of town today and tomorrow. Here's a few things to keep you amused until I can resume regular posting.

How Donald Trump Decided To Run For President

Proof of Death 

The Dog Ate My Homework

Religious Tolerance