Sex, Death, and Beer

Now that I've got your attention...

Following up yesterday's post about San Antonio Beer Week, today we'll discuss more history and beer, along with a helping of sex and death. But first, a little background.

It helps if you understand the San Antonio mindset. This place is the second largest city in Texas, and the seventh largest in the U.S. It's vibrant and fast-growing, with a large military presence. It is economically diversified - manufacturing, tourism, health care, and energy sectors all play major roles, along with a rapidly expanding hi-tech segment (in particular, a large cyber security community).

It is also a historic city - founded by the Spanish in 1691, home of the Alamo, one-time capital of the Republic of Texas. Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders here (interestingly, in a bar).

Perhaps because of that history, San Antonio has always retained a small-town feel. It also has a huge inferiority complex. Houston and Dallas are flashier. Austin is hipper. Smaller cities have major league football and baseball teams (Buffalo?!? - GMAFB). And it positively reeks of diversity - real, nitty gritty diversity, where all sorts of people intermingle with each other on a daily basis because of their life styles, not because of some progressive mandate.

Frederick Law Olmsted, the architect who designed Central Park in New York City, traveled throughout the South and Southwest, and published accounts of his observations. In his 1859 book about Texas, Olmsted described San Antonio as having a "jumble of races, costumes, languages, and buildings," which gave it a quality that only New Orleans could rival in what he described as "odd and antiquated foreignness."

One by-product of that diversity is that things are done a little differently down here. Power structures are jealously defended. Networks and who you know are critically important. One hand washes the other so frequently that I'm surprised the politicians and special interest groups have any skin left on their paws. Which brings us (finally) to the point.

The controversy du jour revolves around a request to move an old bar. The bar in question, formerly named the Liberty Bar, has been around since the 1890s - or at least the building has. But the building has not been designated as a historical landmark. It's also the San Antonio version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. That means it leans, all right, but it's otherwise dilapidated and falling apart. The current owners want to move it a few blocks to a more suitable location, then restore it.

But...

The Historic and Design Review Commission on Wednesday afternoon denied an application by owner Silver Ventures to move the 1890s structure to the culinary complex a few blocks away.

Though the building is not designated as a local landmark (it’s never been nominated), commissioners said it should be...

(But) “There are no current plans for landmark designation,” (one official) said in an email late Wednesday.

(But) “The issue for me is that the building has become a de facto landmark whether or not its landmarked..." (another official) said.

So the poor owner, who just wants to fix the place up, reopen it, and provide jobs and beer to San Antonio citizens, is left twisting in the wind. Typical of how things are done (or not done) in these parts.

Now about the sex, death and beer.

Former building owner Dwight Hobart was interviewed to get his thoughts on the building's history and structural integrity.

“It was as though it had been designed and built by drunken children,” Hobart said.

(The history) began in the mid-19th century, when skilled European immigrants arrived in a wave. One was Fritz Boehler, a German who went to work at the new Pearl Brewery. He earned enough capital to purchase a nearby lot, where he opened the Liberty Schooner Saloon, Hobart said.

Liberty Bar - the early years

Built in 1890, the building was “poorly constructed,” he said. “I wouldn't call them carpenters. They had boards and nails.”

The “Liberty” name never stuck. During Prohibition, the business, a saloon and general store, served weak alcohol, or “near beer,” under a grove of trees, earning it the name Boehler's Beer Garden.

Boehler moved upstairs with his wife, Minnie, and their four children. He constructed a small house for a daughter, also named Minnie, behind the building in 1911. That same year, Fritz's wife slipped down a staircase in the main building, broke her neck and died. Fritz's daughter stayed upstairs to care for her father until his death in 1931.

Two years later, Boehler's was the place to party in San Antonio.

The night before Prohibition ended, in December 1933, people lined the distance between the saloon and the brewery. They cheered when Pearl made its first official beer delivery to Boehler's at one minute after midnight ... “The celebration lasted all night long...”

The Second World War struck, populating military bases around the city. Enter the unnamed Boehler cousin.

“She had the family entrepreneurial spirit,” Hobart said. “And she was a patriotic soul, and she saw it as her duty to entertain the troops.”

She and a few “lady friends ... began to do their best for the war effort,” he added, “and I don't think they did it for free.”

The second-floor brothel ended with the war. The building, somehow, was still standing when Hobart and a friend, Drew Allen, moved here from a “bohemian” life in San Francisco and started leasing it in 1984. It had survived two fires and various floods.

The structure needed attention, of course.

“Leaning is one thing,” Hobart said. “Buckling is another. It was starting to go down measurably by the month.”

Liberty Bar - today

Hobart and his friend ran a restaurant and bar in the building until they sold it four years ago to the current owners. What happens to it next is up to a variety of city boards and commissions, beginning with the aforementioned Historic and Design Review Commission.

If a 125+ year old former bar and brothel isn't a representative historical landmark for San Antonio, I can't imagine what is...

Liberty Bar - better times

A Week To Look Forward To

Every so often I get tired of all the gloom and doom that pervades the media and 'Net. It seems that one can't go more than five minutes without hearing about some looming catastrophe, social injustice, or TEOTWAWKI.

Fortunately, I have a week full of enjoyable events to distract me.

San Antonio Beer Week Kicks Off

From May 10 -18, San Antonians have the opportunity to support and sample local brewers, brewpubs, growler stations, and craft beer friendly stores and bars through a mecca of entertaining, social and local events. So, grab your folding chairs and a pint glass and join in on the fun and entertainment.

San Antonio Beer Week Opening Ceremony

The week begins with the ever-popular Firkin Fun Pub Crawl.

Take Monday off and join the Firkin Fun Pub Crawl bus that starts at Blue Star Brewing Company with coffee and breakfast tacos before a fun-filled day of visits.

That's my kind of pub crawl - one that starts in the morning (with breakfast tacos, no less) and lasts all day.

Other fun events can be found on the San Antonio Beer Week Facebook page, including, but not limited to:

Brewing Art

Paint. Drink. Have Fun. Pinot's Palette provides all the art supplies and the artist instructor to walk you through step by step, so you spend an evening creating memories with your friends and go home with your own masterpiece.

Crawfish Beer Boil

Our crawfish boil is going to be kickass as we will be boiling the crawfish in BEER!

Beer and Bingo

Make sure to study up on your beer knowledge because we'll have beer trivia in between bingo rounds.

'Cue and Brew

4 courses will be served, all featuring Ranger Creek beers as ingredients and as pairings. Each course will be paired with a different beer...

Girls Pint Out

Ladies, put on your cocktail dress and grab your date! This night will be highlighting the wide range of beer cocktails."

Come And Taste It

Meet Texas’ best winemakers and craft brewers...

I'm not overly excited about meeting the brewers - I'd rather spend my time enjoying the fruits of their labors - but I love the creativity displayed in the logo for this event.

For those of you who don't get it, the first battle of the Texas Revolution occurred when Mexican troops tried to confiscate a small cannon used by the town of Gonzales to protect itself against Comanche raids. The Texans response was to arm themselves and resist. Below is the flag under which the Texans fought.

Anyway, back to Beer Week. One of my favorite local brews also combines Texas history and beer. It is named after the Cradle of Texas Liberty.

Yes, it's Alamo Beer. It can trace its heritage back to 1884.

Once upon a time, a long, long, time ago, there was a beer called “Alamo”.   The year was 1884 and the brewery was Lone Star Brewing Company.  The good citizens of San Antonio loved this locally brewed beer made with the best barley malt, saazer hops and Texas rice.  Then in 1918 came prohibition and the supply of “Alamo” dried up along with all the other beers across this nation...

So there you have it. A short course in Texas history, coupled with a week of guzzling responsibly enjoying Texas beer.

So much to do, so little time...

Foreign Policy For Dummies

Wife is out of town. Son is back from his first year in college. Daughter is getting ready to graduate from high school, and all of a sudden believes she's grown up. One dog is sick and the other has found a way to escape from the yard that I haven't figured out yet. And the Spurs are on TV.

In other words, I got nuthin'. But these folks do. Pay attention.


The best idea yet for what should be our foreign policy (H/T Jeff at A Nod to the Gods)

Speaking of failed hashtag diplomacy: (H/T kerrcarto at GottaGetDrunkFirst)

More fun with hashtags (H/T Hollywood Resistance, via twitter).

Random stuff:

FOD 2014.05.12 - Updated

As most of you know by now, the House of Representatives has approved the formation of a 'select' committee to investigate - again - the 2012 terrorist attacks in Benghazi that left four Americans dead. Past committees have been stonewalled in their efforts to determine who knew what, when they knew it, what was done or not done, and by whose orders.

The 12-member panel, split 7-5 in the GOP's favor, will centralize all other House probes into its own investigation. It has no date certain for conclusion and could run in to the next Congress, which begins in January. The committee is tasked with investigating the circumstances that led up to the attack, including the Obama administration's response and communications surrounding it.

Those are without a doubt important questions. But there is one other question that I'd really like to see answered.

Where the hell was obama while our consulate was going up in flames, our ambassador was killed, sodomized, and dragged through the streets, and Americans fighting back against the terrorists were abandoned to die without a finger being lifted to save them?

It now looks like he was actively working to take political advantage of the situation, or at least minimize any political damage from it, while brave men were dying. (Keep in mind that the Benghazi attack took place on September 11, 2012, just two months before the presidential election.)

As the House gears up for a special select committee on Benghazi under the direction of U.S. Rep. Trey Gowdy, R-S.C., information has been uncovered that will point the committee in the right direction when it seeks evidence on where Barack Obama was on the night of the attack. For eight months no one at the White House, or the State Dept., or the Defense Dept. has gone on the record to state what the president was doing as his Libyan ambassador and three other Americans were being slaughtered by terrorists. Obama himself has also managed to avoid answering that question.

But the evidence tells the tale. It all started last week when former National Security Council spokesman Tommy Vietor told Bret Baier of Fox News that Obama was never in the Situation Room at the White House at all that horrific afternoon and evening. But he was, indeed, in the White House during the entire massacre. Where was he, then, if he was in the White House but was not engaged with military brass in the Situation Room attempting to figure out how the ambassador and others could be rescued?

At 3:40 p.m., Washington time, the number two man at the American embassy, who was in Tripoli at the time, was notified by Ambassador Stevens that the consulate was under attack. Shortly thereafter, the State Dept. was notified. By 4:05 p.m. the State Dept. issued an alert to all American embassies around the world that the Benghazi consulate was under attack. The Pentagon was also notified.

It so happened that the Commander of U.S. Africa Command, Gen. Carter Ham, was at the Pentagon when the news came in. Ham immediately notified the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Gen. Martin Dempsey. At that point both Ham and Dempsey personally shared the information with Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta.

At 5 p.m. both Panetta and Dempsey met with Obama at the White House for a meeting that had already been scheduled in advance. But the Libyan attacks took center stage, and Obama authorized Panetta and Dempsey to "take appropriate steps" to handle the situation. This would be the only time the two would have contact with Obama during the entire evening. They never spoke to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at all.

By 7 p.m. EST the protracted attacks at the Benghazi consulate were still ongoing. And where was Obama? He was in the White House, for sure, but holed up in the family quarters where he then stayed for the rest of the night.

How do we know this information? Because at 7 p.m., according to White House phone logs, Obama called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu from a phone in the family quarters. Obama was concerned about reports that Netanyahu felt snubbed by Obama, particularly given that it was so close to the presidential election, and Obama desperately needed to count on the Jewish vote.

At 10 p.m. Obama made another call from the family quarters at the White House. But no one was willing to admit that he did so. For five months there had been multiple denials that Obama made any more calls after his conversation with Netanyahu. Even Chuck Hagel denied flatly that Obama made this 10 p.m. call when asked about it during Senate confirmation hearings on Hagel's nomination to become Defense Secretary. Further, the White House had sent an official letter to the Senate stating that Obama had made no phone calls at all the night of Sept. 11, 2012.

But it would be none other than White House Chief Spokesman Jay Carney who would later let the cat out of the bag. During a news conference Carney stated that Obama was in touch with his national security team constantly throughout the night, and that he had called Secretary Clinton at 10 p.m. to "get an update."

Thus, the truth finally came out about the 10 p.m. conversation between Hillary and Obama. And why is that significant? Because shortly after that call, at roughly 10:30 p.m., Hillary issued a news memo on the attack which specifically blamed the massacre on an anti-Islamic film, an Internet video, made in the United States. She claimed that the inflammatory nature of the Internet video sparked outrage and spontaneous protests around the Muslim world. It was here, therefore, that the meme began that the consulate attack was spontaneous and perpetrated by protesters who had been offended by the film.

Yet no one at the Defense Dept., or the U.S. military, nor anyone on the ground in Libya had mentioned anything at all about a supposed violent spontaneous protest at the Libyan consulate. The CIA, which had operatives in the region, also confirmed that there had been no such protest in Benghazi against the film.

One thing, however, could be confirmed as early as 7 p.m. EST. The CIA and the U.S. military knew that this was a terrorist attack, pure and simple. And the group that claimed responsibility for it, Anshar al-Sharia, had direct connections to al Qaeda, which had not been decimated at all as Obama claimed but was still very much alive and well, operating through various and sundry localized terrorist groups going by various names. No one outside of Hillary and Obama had mentioned a single word about an inflammatory film in connection with the attacks. It was rank terrorism, period.

So, what was Obama doing throughout the night of Sept. 11, 2012 and likely into the wee hours of the morning on Sept. 12? He was developing campaign strategy in the family quarters of the White House, desperately attempting to figure out how to deflect attention away from his failed foreign policy and directing that attention squarely to an obscure Internet video that no one had even heard about in Libya, much less seen.

For that, if for no other reason, that slimy little spineless political hack deserves to be impeached for gross dereliction of duty. He deliberately turned his back on the life and death struggles of men better than he'll ever be in order to further his political ambitions.

Despicable...

Updated at 11:00 a.m. CDT to add:

Just when you think the Benghazi deniers can't get any more detached from reality, this moonbat opens her mouth. Appearing on The McLaughlin Group over the weekend, Eleanor Clift had this to say.

ELEANOR CLIFT: I would like to point out Ambassador Stevens was not murdered. He died of smoke inhalation in the safe room in that CIA installation.

SUSAN FERRECHIO: I don't think that's a fact, Eleanor.

CLIFT: I think that is a fact.

FERRECHIO: I've heard a drastically different story from people who are also in the know about that. So, I don't think it is --

PAT BUCHANAN: It was a terrorist attack, Eleanor. He was murdered in a terrorist attack.

CLIFT: It was an opportunistic terrorist attack that grew out of that video.

(FYI, if you're like me you've never heard of this idiot. Eleanor Clift "is a liberal political reporter, television pundit, and author. She is currently a contributing editor for Newsweek magazine and blogger for The Daily Beast. Her column, "Capitol Letter", is posted each week on the Newsweek and MSNBC websites.")

Oh. My. God. Where to begin?

I don't know how Ambassador Stevens died. But whether he was shot, stabbed, poisoned, or died from smoke inhalation, he was murdered. If I burn down your house with you inside it and you die,that's murder, regardless of whether you died from burns, the roof caving in on you, or smoke inhalation.

As for the 'it's the video's fault' excuse, that bullshit has been thoroughly discredited.

Newly obtained emails on Benghazi show then-U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice was coached by a key White House aide to lie and ignore the facts known and reported on the ground to make the administration look good.

(One of the emails), with the subject line: "RE: PREP Call with Susan: Saturday at 4:00 p.m. ET," was sent to other key White House staffers such as then-Communications Director David Plouffe and Press Secretary Jay Carney the day before now-National Security Adviser Susan Rice made her whirlwind tour on five Sunday news show appearances to specifically and emphatically blame an Internet video for the Sept. 11, 2012, attack on the American diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, in which U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other nationals were killed.

 So why do these obama and hillary apologists keep repeating the same lie over and over? Joseph Goebbels has the answer.

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."

Especially when you are aided and abetted by a complicit media...

Sunday Funnies 2014.05.11

This is the third Mother's Day since my Mom passed away. (And the second Mother's Day I've posted these jokes. What can I say? I'm lazy busy.).

Mom didn't have a whole lot of patience with modern theories on how to bring up children. She always used to say "I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."

So here's to you, Mom, and all the other mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He answered, "Call for backup."

 * * * * * * * * * * 

Miss Jones had just given her second-grade students a science lesson. She had explained about magnets, and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time.

Miss Jones said, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"

A little boy in the front row proudly said, "You're a mother!"

 * * * * * * * * * *  

Everything Is Bigger In Texas

I've mentioned before that I'm a Charles Barkley fan. Of course, with Sir Charles you have to take the good with the bad. For example, in his TV basketball analyst gig he has instituted an annual tradition during the playoffs in which he bad-mouths the lovely city of San Antonio. (For the record, I grew up in and around San Antonio. I currently live about 30 minutes outside of the city.)

He did it again this year.

Charles Barkley, the opinionated analyst on TNT's Emmy-winning "Inside the NBA" studio show, likely didn't earn himself any new female fans in San Antonio, Texas last night. As tends to happen on the show, the group got to talking about something off-topic Wednesday night, and that conversation veered toward the women of that Texas city.

"There's some big 'ol women down there," said Barkley. "That's a gold mine for Weight Watchers." He added, "Victoria is definitely a secret.. they can't wear no Victoria's Secret down there."

This has become something of a running gag between Chuckles and S.A. Most folks down here understand it's done in the spirit of good-natured ribbing. But there are some who take his comments quite seriously.

The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance has asked Barkley to apologize.

"Making slurs about body size is just as offensive as making comments about body color," a spokesperson told TMZ Sports "One would think being a black man, he'd be more sensitive to having his physical body criticized. It's totally out of line. He should absolutely apologize."

I had never heard of the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I had to Google it to make sure it wasn't a joke. (It's not.) However, like many special interest groups today, it's more about making people feel good about themselves while ignoring facts.

First of all, being obese puts your health at risk. Boosting the self-esteem of overweight people, as opposed to encouraging them to lose weight, does little to help them avoid health problems.

Second, San Antonio is full of overweight people.

San Antonio: second-fattest major U.S. city

Figures recently released by Gallup show that San Antonio has the second-highest obesity rate among major U.S. cities.

The survey shows more than 31 percent of San Antonians are obese...

(It's all that Mexican food and margaritas.)

In other words, 3 out of 10 S.A. women could stand to lose some poundage. (FWIW, I fall into the overweight category myself.) But we also have our share of gals who are easy on the eyes.

San Antonio Spurs fans

We also have a pretty good rejoinder to Charles.

That should shut him up ... for a while...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2014.05.09

Sunday is Mother's Day, so this is dedicated to all you Mothers out there...

A Marketable Skill?

We all (hopefully) are aware of the many scams out there in 'Net-land; Nigerian princes, winning lottery tickets, lost wallets, phishing and pharming, and all the rest. But here's a new one - and one that is, IMO, the most dastardly of the lot.

It's actually not an Internet scam per se, but the 'Net is used to facilitate it, so it loosely falls under the Internet scam umbrella. Of course, such a distinction means little to those who have their lives ruined by it.

For sale on the Internet - the latest scam

Positive pregnancy tests can be found for sale all over the Internet ... and people are snapping them up - with less-than-ethical motivations...

One mother from Dallas did not want her identity revealed, but she does want people to buy her positive pregnancy tests. She talked about one woman who took her up on the offer.

"She wanted to trick him into thinking she was pregnant..."

Buying and selling others' pregnancy tests is the latest trend on the Internet. Those involved in the trade said the buyer's motive is often to trap a man...

"Ninety-five percent of the girls just want to lie to get a man," the seller said.

And the sellers know that.

One Craigslist ad posted last year by a central New Jersey woman read: "I am pregnant and will sell you a positive pregnancy test. These will be taken right before you're ready to pick them up. Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on mom, dad or one of your friends? I really don't care what you use it for."

Another ad from Buffalo promised no judgment at all. It read in part: "Ever since I became pregnant, I have been asked numerous times for a positive test, so I decided to start charging for it! I will test the same day you want to pick it up! I don't care what you use it for, not my business!"

Ethics and morality aside, relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer said having to use a phony test to get your partner to commit is clearly a bad sign for the future.

That's an understatement!

And still others may have more sinister plans. Authorities warned people to be careful how they use the purchased positive tests.

"For example, if a married man is having an affair and he tried to break it off with the girl, and she became upset and decided to present this fake pregnancy test and demand money, otherwise she would tell the spouse, that would be a level of blackmail," Overland Park, Kansas, police Officer Gary Mason told CBS affiliate KCTV-TV, Kansas City.

But mothers-to-be who sell the tests for as much as $30 each said it is just the latest commodity online.

"It's a neat, marketable skill..." the Dallas woman said.

Commodity? Marketable skill?!? How much skill does it take to get knocked up, and then pee on a stick?

It's been said that there is a market for everything. I guess this story proves that it's true.

It also proves how low some people will stoop to get what they want...

Know Thy Enemy

The following is a random selection of articles from just the past few days. The coomon thread linking them together? They all highlight the barbaric practices of the 'religion of peace.'

Before any liberals out there get their panties all in a wad, let me say that I'm not tarring all Muslims with the same brush. I know and have worked with many non-extremist Muslims. And I'll grant you that extremists can be found in every religion. But I do find it intriguing/curious/troublesome (pick your adjective) that there are so many examples of ignorant, savage, and brutal behavior by hard-core Islamists, with little outcry or denunciation by other Muslims or the mainstream media.

I'd like to see the same tolerance extended to conservatives and the Tea Party...


First, on the medial front, we have this story from the New York Times.

Polio’s Return After Near Eradication Prompts a Global Health Warning

Alarmed by the spread of polio to several fragile countries, the World Health Organization declared a global health emergency on Monday for only the second time since regulations permitting it to do so were adopted in 2007.

Just two years ago — after a 25-year campaign that vaccinated billions of children — the paralyzing virus was near eradication; now health officials say that goal could evaporate if swift action is not taken.

Polio-stricken kids - thanks, Islamists.

Pakistan, Syria and Cameroon have recently allowed the virus to spread — to Afghanistan, Iraq and Equatorial Guinea, respectively — and should take extraordinary measures to stop it, the health organization said.

Of course, this being the NYT, the reason for the spread of the polio virus is buried near the end of the story.

Taliban factions have forbidden vaccinations ... and have murdered vaccine teams ... Islamic terrorist groups in Nigeria have killed vaccinators.

Can you say "stone age?"

Islamists are clearly winning the war on polio vaccinators. They're also faring well in their war on women, as the next two stories show.

'I will sell them,' Boko Haram leader says of kidnapped Nigerian girls

Fears for the fate of more than 200 Nigerian girls turned even more nightmarish Monday when the leader of the Islamist militant group that kidnapped them announced plans to sell them.

In recent years, Boko Haram has carried out dozens of attacks, killing thousands of people at schools, churches, police stations, government buildings and elsewhere. Targets include Christians, senior Islamic figures critical of Boko Haram and people the group believes are engaged in "un-Islamic" behavior...

Yeah, let's keep 'em barefoot and pregnant. That'll teach those uppity broads who want to get an education.

And if a gal wants to have a little fun, they know how to take care of that as well.

Widow is gang-raped as 'punishment' for having an affair with a married man in Indonesia - and now she will be caned in public under Sharia law

An Indonesian widow who was gang-raped by eight 'vigilantes' as punishment for having an affair with a married man, is now to suffer the further indignity of being caned in public.

Public punishment: The 25-year-old woman faces up to nine strokes of the cane

The rapists caught the couple together when they barged into her house in the northern Indonesian province of Banda Aceh and accused her of having 'improper sexual relations' with the 40-year-old man.

The 25-year-old woman's companion was tied up and beaten, while she was raped repeatedly. Then the two of them were doused with buckets of sewage.

Remember these stories the next time some nitwit democrat accuses the republicans of waging a war on women.

Finally, here's a chilling example of what happens when a religious movement is used to indoctrinate children.

Hamas tells kids to shoot all the Jews

Translated from a Hamas-run children's TV show broadcast on May 2:

Host (Rawan): "Tulin, why do you want to be a police officer? Like who?"
Girl (Tulin): "Like my uncle." ...
Child host: "OK, so what does a policeman do?"
Nahul (an adult in a giant bee costume): "He catches thieves, and people who make trouble."
Host: "And shoots Jews. Right?"
Girl: "Yes."
Host: "You want to be like him?"
[Girl nods]
Host: "Allah willing, when you grow up."
Girl: "So that I can shoot Jews."
[Nahul the bee claps his hands]
Host: "All the Jews? All of them?"
Girl: "Yes."
Host: "Good."

Islamist version of Mr. Rogers

So the next time you hear someone make apologies for those who use their religion as an excuse to behave like barbaric savages, keep this montage in mind.

Actions speak louder than words...

What A Maroon!

The best and brightest my ass.

The only thing John "I voted for the Iraq war before I voted against it" Kerry has done right in his entire miserable life is to marry well.

His latest fiasco while pretending to be Secretary of State: talking about the sick fucks terrorists who have abducted almost 300 schoolgirls, he had this to say.

“I will tell you, my friends, I have seen this scourge of terror across the planet, and so have you,” he continued. “They don't offer anything except violence. They don’t offer a health care plan...

Well!

If they don't offer a health care plan, they are obviously terrorists.

Just like the Tea Party...

War Of The Words

Here's the latest incident in the ongoing effort by public school administrators to ensure that reality does not intrude on their classrooms.

The New York City Department of Education (NYC DOE) is waging a war on words of sorts, and is seeking to have words they deem upsetting removed from standardized tests.

Fearing that certain words and topics can make students feel unpleasant, officials are requesting 50 or so words be removed from city-issued tests.

The word “dinosaur” made the hit list because dinosaurs suggest evolution which creationists might not like ... “Halloween” is targeted because it suggests paganism; a “birthday” might not be happy to all because it isn’t celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Words that suggest wealth are excluded because they could make kids jealous. “Poverty” is also on the forbidden list ... In a throwback to “Footloose,” the word “dancing” is also taboo.

Also banned are references to “divorce” and “disease,” because kids taking the tests may have relatives who split from spouses or are ill.

The school district, of course, denies it is being politically correct. According to Dennis Walcott, high muckety-muck of the NYC DOE, “This is just making sure that test makers are sensitive in the development of their tests.”

Dennis Walcott, protector of innocent children

Below is the full list of banned words. Judge for yourself if the DOE is overdosing on PC.

Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological)
Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco, or drugs
Birthday celebrations (and birthdays)
Bodily functions
Cancer (and other diseases)
Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)
Celebrities
Children dealing with serious issues
Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia)
Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting)
Crime
Death and disease
Divorce
Evolution
Expensive gifts, vacations, and prizes
Gambling involving money
Halloween
Homelessness
Homes with swimming pools
Hunting
Junk food
In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge
Loss of employment
Nuclear weapons
Occult topics (i.e. fortune-telling)
Parapsychology
Politics
Pornography
Poverty
Rap Music
Religion
Religious holidays and festivals (including but not limited to Christmas, Yom Kippur, and Ramadan)
Rock-and-Roll music
Running away
Sex
Slavery
Terrorism
Television and video games (excessive use)
Traumatic material (including material that may be particularly upsetting such as animal shelters)
Vermin (rats and roaches)
Violence
War and bloodshed
Weapons (guns, knives, etc.)
Witchcraft, sorcery, etc.

Words fail me...

It's Only A Game

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. It started out as an update on events in Ukraine, but wandered off into a look at bizarre soccer deaths.

First, Ukraine:

The mood on a warm afternoon had been friendly. Some supporters of both teams joined together to walk the route to the stadium before kickoff, displaying their support for the new pro-Western authorities, chanting their contempt for Russian President Vladimir Putin.

According to local news ... the starting point of the fighting was when the two teams' supporters were walking down Greek street. There armed men, wearing masks, in black attacked them, some shooting pistols.

The gunmen were pro-Russian activists, allegedly undercover Russian military troops who had infiltrated Ukraine to foment unrest.

The fans responded by throwing stones. Many tried to flee.

Some tried to hide in the nearest building. Not a good idea.

It is not clear who first started throwing petrol bombs.

At least one town official suggested the fire may have started on the third floor, which would suggest that the cause of the blaze was something other than a petrol bomb thrown from outside. That could not be independently confirmed.

"The fire engines came very late. The fire was raging. Those who hadn't been overcome by smoke, just started jumping out of windows. It's a tall building so you can imagine what happened," said an eyewitness.

There are at least 40 confirmed deaths. Moscow is blaming Ukraine and its Western supporters. Kiev is blaming pro-Russian "saboteurs."

Those deaths are only tangentially related to soccer. The next fatalities have a much more direct link.

A Brazilian football (soccer) fan was killed on Friday after being struck in the head by a toilet bowl that was thrown from stadium stands...

I could make a joke about how that poor fellow's life had bottomed out, butt that would be in poor taste. So I'll just say that he had an untimely end...

The incident occurred during a riot by upset fans. While the death is tragic, at least it was accidental. In another incident, a Colombian soccer player was killed intentionally as a result of his play in a World Cup game.

Andrés Escobar was a professional Colombian soccer player who was shot and killed in Colombia. The murder itself is not bizarre, but rather the reason for which he was killed. In the 1994 FIFA World Cup, Escobar scored on his own goal in a game versus the United States that ultimately led his team’s loss. A wide consensus believe that this goal led to his death.

I'd say that's a pretty good guess, seeing as how one of Escobar's assailants was heard to shout "Thanks for the own-goal, hijueputa [son of a whore]!"

And I used to think American football fans took their games seriously...

FOD 2014.05.05

It's no secret that I think barack obama is a pathetic excuse for a president. His failed policies, both foreign and domestic, are numerous and epic. But his patheticness doesn't stop there. He is a bald-faced liar and hypocrite to boot. Here's a couple of recent examples.

Though the administration billed the President’s Day weekend trip to California as an effort to highlight the state’s severe water drought, the White House official schedule showed the president spent just four hours at three drought-related events on the afternoon of Friday, February 14. He then spent much of the next three days playing golf at some of Coachella Valley, California’s, most exclusive golf courses, which, according to Fox News, “consume roughly 17 percent of all water there, and one quarter of the water pumped out of the region’s at-risk groundwater aquifer.” Each course uses nearly 1 million gallons of water a day.

During March 7 – 9, the First Family spent Spring Break at Key Largo, Florida’s, exclusive Ocean Reef Club, where members must have a minimum net worth of $35 million to join.  According to its website, “the Club boasts two championship 18-hole courses, a rarity in the Florida Keys … a salon and spa, more than a dozen restaurants, a 175-slip marina, a private airport, and so much more.” The costly Spring Break vacation took place on the heels of Obama’s State of the Union Address in which he focused on income inequality.

While barry is having fun on the golf course, our country's economy staggers along. The so-called 'recovery' pales in comparison to Reagan's economic boom following the 1981 recession, as shown by the charts below.

Worst of all, under obama people are dropping out of the labor force at an appalling rate.

Back in 2012, The Government Accountability Institute compiled the number of hours obama spent golfing compared to the number of hours he spent in "economic meetings or briefings of any kind."

That shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has been paying attention...

Sunday Funnies 2014.05.04

No theme today - just cleaning out the in-box...



Husband’s Message (by cellphone):

“Honey,  I got hit by a car outside of the office.  Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been running tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot.“

Wife’’s Response:

“Who is Paula?"

Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years..

Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but there's nothing they can do about it.

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!

"Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night,,,

Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. It turns out she's been reading "50 Shades of Grey"...

On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, here I am"


Today's word is.................. Fluctuations.

I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this joke.

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.  There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.  It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change?  Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.  Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

In the wake of the Donald Sterling brouhaha, here's what Dallas Cowboy fans are thinking:

Say what you will about Harry Reid, but you've got to give him credit for being a master of political spin:

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Senator Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory:

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: "Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

So Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.

Harry Reid

Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research: 

"Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

Now that's how political spin is done!

Catching My Breath

It's been a hectic -- and expensive -- spring. I thought once I retired I'd be living a life of leisure. However, life apparently had other plans for me.

It began back in March. Our daughter, a high school senior, had been accepted to several colleges. Unlike her older brother, who had no doubt where he wanted to go (Texas A&M), she couldn't make up her mind. She wanted to get away from home, but not too far away. She wanted to live in a large city, but not too large. She wanted to go to a small school, but not too small. She wanted ... well, you get the idea.

So we did a lot of online research. We visited web sites, communicated with alumni, even went on several campus visits. The list of possibles ranged from a small but highly rated engineering school (Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology) in a small town (scenic Terre Haute, Indiana - which also happens to be my mother's home town) to a large but highly rated engineering school (Rice University) in a large city (Houston). There was also a medium-sized engineering school (Colorado School of Mines) in a medium-sized city (Golden, Co.).

In case you haven't figured it out yet, she's interested in becoming an engineer.

But there were others as well. At one point she was seriously considering going to the University of Virginia - a long way from our Central Texas home. Other possibilities were Vanderbilt and Duke (she's a smart kid and did well in high school and on her SATs - takes after her father). In the end, however, after much sturm und drung she decided to join her brother, and more relevantly, her BFF, at Texas A&M University. Her mother and I are thrilled. It's a good fit for her interests and personality, it's the right distance away (a 3 hour drive), she'll know people there, so she has a support system in place, and last but not least, it's a public school and we get to pay in-state tuition!

But getting her to that point took a lot of time and effort. To complicate matters, while all that was going on, my old truck began acting up. It developed a phantom intermittent miss and surge that only happened when I drove it. When anyone else was in the driver's seat it behaved itself. Multiple trips to the shop failed to identify the problem. So the solution was - what else - to buy our daughter a new car.

Actually, it was a new used car (2011 Toyota RAV-4). When she got her license two years ago I gave her my old SUV (2006 Honda Pilot) and began to drive my old truck (1995 F-150) full time. Prior to then I'd mainly used the truck for towing, hauling, and hunting. But now that she's going off to college we decided to upgrade her vehicle, getting her something more economical with fewer miles, and hence more reliable (hopefully). I took back the Pilot, and the truck returned to its previous role. But first, there was still that annoying stutter to track down and resolve.

The ignition system was tested. The fuel pump, filters, and injectors were inspected and cleaned. The timing chain (yes, it's so old it has a timing chain instead of a belt) was checked. No joy. So I finally decided to just live with it until something obvious broke.

Then the oil pressure gauge started fluctuating...

Replaced the oil pressure sending unit. The fluctuation persisted. Checked the gauge. It was good. That left two possibilities, neither of which was good. Either the oil pump was failing (bad) or the main rod bearings were shot (worse). I made a deal with the local repair shop. Tear down the engine and replace the pump. If that fixes the problem well and good. I'll pay them full shop manual rate for the job. If that doesn't fix the problem, we'll drop a new (rebuilt) engine in, and they won't charge me for the oil pump work. They replaced the pump and things seemed fine for the first few days. Then the oil gauge started fluctuating again, and I noticed the power dropping off as I climbed hills. So it was back to the shop, this time for an engine replacement.

I went back and forth about whether to sink all that money into an old truck, or whether it would be better to sell the Pilot and the truck, and buy a new truck. But I really, really, REALLY like my old truck. It's kind of like my wife. I'm used to her idiosyncrasies, her likes and dislikes. She's adapted to my habits, good and bad, and I to hers. Besides, the truck's seat cushion has by now custom molded itself to my rear end. How could I give all that up? So I decided to stick with my old friend, especially after he just had a heart transplant.

I got the truck back last week. It ran like a top - it hummed along for a brief while, then sputtered and stopped...

So it's back in the shop for another mystery ailment - although at least this time it's covered by the new engine warranty.

Meanwhile, while all this was going on, those worthless G**-Damned bastards at Microsoft decided to end support for Windows XP. As you may have gathered by now, I'm an old-school type of guy. When I find something I like I stick with it (except for wives, but that's another story).

Anyway, my office desktop, my laptop, and our daughter's desktop all ran on XP. My wife's PC was the modern one. It uses Windows 7. I checked to see if we could upgrade our existing 'puters to Windows 7 (I absolutely refuse to get that abomination known as Windows 8). Two were no-go, and one was marginal. So that meant new computers. Daughter got an HP laptop, and I got a Dell desktop (plus a Chromebook, which I really, really like).

Transferring all the software and files was a royal pain in the ass (I still haven't figured out how to get my iPod playlists onto the new computer), but I eventually got that done. Then the hard drive on the new HP laptop failed...

I know someone who is pretty handy with hardware. He suggested replacing the failed drive with a new solid state hard drive (think of a giant flash drive stuffed inside the case). I could have gone through the customer service shuffle with HP, but a new solid state drive was only (!) $150, and my friend installed it for free (well, almost - it cost me a six pack of Shiner, but he didn't get it until after installation).

I've gotta say, that solid state drive is DA BOMB!!! (Do people still say that?) Anyway, it is lightening quick. That 'puter boots up in about 5 seconds. Opening and closing programs, and accessing files, is super fast. If you ever get the opportunity to install a solid state drive, jump on it. You'll love it!

To top things off, while I was wrestling with vehicles and computers, I stepped in a hole and messed up my knee. It was my 'good' knee (my other one has been operated on three times). It took three weeks until I could see an orthopedic surgeon, another three weeks to get an MRI done, one more week to get it read, and another week before I could see the dr. and get the diagnosis, which was...

...torn meniscus and stretched ligaments. The good news is no surgery. The bad news is that surgery would do more harm than good. Why, you ask?

The meniscus is a shock-absorbing cartilage that sits under the kneecap. It reduces friction and provides a cushion between the upper leg (femur) and the lower leg (tibia). I managed to not only tear it, but to fold it under itself. Think of a page in a book that becomes dog-eared. The only way to fix that page is to open the cover. Similarly, the only way to fix my folded-under meniscus is to lift up the kneecap. That poses all sorts of problems. Bottom line - get a cortisone shot, go to physical therapy, and learn to live with the pain and restricted motion. Oh yeah, and while I'm at it, lose weight.

Sigh...

My other knee must have gotten jealous of all the attention the 'good' knee was getting, so it chose this time to begin acting up as well. I've been down this road before. The solution is a series of Supartz injections - one a week for five weeks. The injections must be preciously placed in the knee joint for maximum effect, so they are guided using an ultrasound machine. That means weekly visits to the orthopedic doctor's office. It's a one hour trip there, the procedure takes anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour (including waiting time), and another hour trip home. On top of that I have physical therapy three times a week - 30 minutes travel time, 1.5 hours therapy, and 30 minutes back home. That's three hours out of my day, four days a week, for the next five weeks.

But things could be worse - much, much worse. Our daughter is going to a great university that's relatively close to home. She'll be with her close friend, and her big brother will be on hand if she needs him. Everyone in the family has a decent vehicle and an up-to-date computer. We're all healthy, more or less (some of us less than others), but without major issues. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and a little spare change in our pockets. Sure, things could be better, but they could also be a damn sight worse.

All in all, life is good...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2014.05.02

You gotta know when to say when... (are you still out there, CD?)

Sex With Ghosts

As most of you know, I'm a retired university professor. When I was still working, I would often sit in on other professors' lectures, especially those not in my field, to broaden my mind. One day I visited a class where the professor was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies

To get a feel for his audience, he asked, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

 About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

 Way in the back, Achmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

Achmed replied, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said 'goats'."

Mixed Message

I don't know if this is by design, a case of the left hand not knowing what the right is doing, or just plain old-fashioned incompetence. I suspect the latter. In any event, here's two news stories that highlight the bipolar nature of obama's stance towards Vladimir Putin.

The United States imposed new sanctions on allies of Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday...

The new round of U.S. sanctions, following those imposed last month when Russia annexed Crimea, barely registered in eastern Ukraine, where pro-Moscow rebels were holding a group of German and other OSCE military observers for a fourth day.

One reason the sanctions "barely registered" is that the obama administration is sending a mixed message to Russia. One the on hand, it loudly showcases a collection of feel-good sanctions that bounce off the russkies like bugs off my windshield. On the other hand, it quietly buys Russian military hardware for the Afghanistan army.

While President Barack Obama is busy announcing new sanctions against Russia for its continued hostilities in Ukraine, the U.S. government is secretly emboldening the Russian economy through a military contract, former Rep. Pete Hoekstra says.

"As we're leaving, the Afghan military, they're looking for helicopters," Hoekstra explained. "They want about 90 attack helicopters. All right. You say, 'Hey, great! They're going to be buying 90 helicopters, that's going to be putting a lot of Americans to work.'

"Wrong. They're buying Russian helicopters for the Afghan military, and the interesting thing about helicopters is that they're high-maintenance. So, not only are we buying about a billion dollars' worth of Russian helicopters, but we're also providing the Russian military industrial complex, the people that build these helicopters, we're providing them with maintenance contracts that are multiple numbers of this one billion," he said Monday.

According to Hoekstra, the deal to purchase helicopters from Russia has been in place for some time, and Congress even attempted to stop the deal through the appropriations process because of Putin's support of Syrian President Bashar Assad. But Hoekstra said, "Obama just forgot about those restrictions and went beyond them."

"So now we've got the Russians in Syria, we've got them in Ukraine, they're creating mischief all over the place," Hoekstra said, "and we're buying Russian helicopters to give to the Afghans and the biggest promoter of this is the U.S. Pentagon."

Additionally, since Obama shut down NASA's space shuttle and Constellation programs, every time the U.S. needs to send an astronaut or satellite to space, Hoekstra says they are being launched on Russian rockets, providing an additional financial boon to the country.

"Are we sanctioning those companies?" he asked, incredulously. "Canceling these purchases? Did we cancel the purchase of these helicopters? Absolutely not.

"You just wonder why wouldn't the Pentagon go out right now and say, 'We're sorry, the balance of the helicopter contract is cancelled'? On one hand, we're saying sanctions, on the other hand we're buying lots of Russian products that are fueling and enriching the very people that we're trying to sanction, it makes no sense."

"It makes no sense." Boy howdy, that's just about the perfect summary of obama's entire term in office.