Sunday Funnies 2014.02.02

We have three vehicles - one for our teenage daughter, one for my wife, and one for me.

Yesterday, within a 12 hour span, all three developed mechanical problems...

A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream."

A blonde's car broke down on the Interstate one day. She eased it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully stepped out of the car and opened the trunk.

Out jump two men in trench coats who got in position at the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and began opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurred. It wasn't very long before a police car shows up.

The cop, clearly enraged, ran toward the blonde with the disabled vehicle and yelled, "What the hell is going on here?!"

"My car broke down," the lady calmly replied.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asked the cop.

And she said..."Those are my emergency flashers!"

A man pushes his car into the garage and tells the mechanic that the engine just died on him. After a few moments of tinkering under the hood, the engine is purring again.

‘Great,’ says the driver. ‘How did you fix it?’

‘Just crap in the carburetor,’ replies the mechanic.

‘Okay,’ replies the man. ‘So how often do I have to do that?’