Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Let The Games Begin

One of the hottest stories from the Sochi Olympics is the exposure a host of sexy babes are bringing to the relatively obscure sport of curling.

Russian skip Anna Sidorova slides out of the hack without a broom.

Not to worry, ladies, the male curlers are hot as well.

Norway’s Thomas Ulsrud, away from the rink.

Curling, however, is just a subset of the avalanche of lust engulfing Sochi. Bring together thousands of fit young people in their athletic prime, house them all in tight quarters, stir in the tension and energy of competition, and top it off with the latest in hook-up technology, and you get a heaping helping of sex.
Tinder is an app that lets you know if there’s someone nearby who you might like. You can anonymously like the other person or pass on them, but if both people like one another, then a match is made.

The social networking tool may be new since the last Winter Olympics, but with 3,000 athletes in the prime of their lives from around the world packed into Sochi, they’re bound to seek an outlet through electronic means or otherwise.

“It’s like making the ingredients of a huge stew — a stew of sexual ingredients,” said Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist at Columbia University’s Teachers College in New York City. “There is stress, which causes tension, and anxiety and energy, and a massive outpouring of chemicals in the body — adrenaline and endorphins. It’s a powerful concoction of chemicals.”

“Everyone knows the runner’s high,” she said. “Olympian athletes certainly have it — it’s orgasmic.”

Kuriansky said all the beautiful and fit athletes tend not to “think about their conscience.”

“Winners or losers, on top of the world or devastated, it tends to make you grab the moment — carpe diem,” she said. “This is your moment.”
An abundance of hook-ups isn't exclusive just to Sochi, however. Other Olympics have generated similar levels of sexual activity.
Sochi 2014:

The games have just begun, but it’s already the year of Tinder and talk of 100,000 condoms circulating around the Olympic Village.

London 2012:

“Could London 2012 be the raunchiest games ever?” asked the Daily Mail. “Steamy London Olympics: A Condom-a-Day, Per Athlete,” wrote Businessweek of the 150,000 condoms distributed.

Althletes were particularly candid about their sex lives, as well. “I’ve seen people having sex right out in the open,” U.S. soccer star Hope Solo told ESPN in a long expose of Olympians’ sexual encounters. “On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty.”

Vancouver 2010:

Snowboarder Scotty Lago, 22, went home earlier than anticipate after TMZ leaked a photo showing a fan biting on his bronze medal when it was hanging from his belt buckle. (He had no events left to compete in.)

CNN ran the headline, “Vancouver medals in condom distribution”

ESPN reported that six athletes had an orgy in a hot tub right outside the Village.

Beijing 2008:

Former Olympic table tennis player Matthew Syed wrote an article for the Times of London noting that there was a “sex fest… right here in Beijing. Olympic athletes have to display an unnatural… level of self-discipline in the build-up to big competitions. How else is this going to manifest itself than with a volcanic release of pent-up hedonism.” This led to a headlines asserting that the Olympic Village hosted “More Sex than Woodstock.”

Salt Lake City 2002:

The conservative city hosted some protests against Olympic policies to distribute free condoms to athletes.

Sydney 2000:

Officials thought that 70,000 (rainbow) condoms would be enough. They had to send out for 20,000 more after a week.

Javelin thrower Breaux Greer told ESPN that he had relations with three women every day of the Olympics — two were other Olympians and another was a tourist. He had to leave the games due to a knee injury. But as a consolation prize, he did end up with a famous (unnamed) Olympian in the airplane bathroom on the flight back to Los Angeles.

Norway 1994:

Skier Carrie Sheinberg told ESPN that two German bobsledders “made it clear that they’d trade me their gold for all kinds of other favors. I said jokingly, ‘Thanks, but Tommy Moe has a medal. I’ll play with his.’”

Barcelona 1992:

Even though he played ping pong, Matthew Syed said he “got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than the rest of my life up to that point.”

This is when condoms began getting offered to Olympians to encourage safe sex during the games.

Seoul 1988

There were reports of so many condoms found on the roofs of Olympic residences that the Olympic Association banned outdoor sex.
Let the Games begin, indeed...

1 comment:

CenTexTim said...

Typical bureaucrats...