Sunday Funnies 2014.01.26

Long lost relatives in town this weekend + a golf tournament on Saturday that included drink tickets as part of the entry fee = a hangover...

Signs You Have a Hangover

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets.
Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still."
All day long your motto is, "Never again."
You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.
Your automatic response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!"

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

A recent study found evidence of female hormones in beer. To test the results, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

It was found that 100% of the men gained  weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

An old Irishman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get... Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?" 

The Irishman answered, "Definitely Parkinson's. Better to spill half an ounce of whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!"