Saturday, December 28, 2013

My Wife Is A Saint

I'll freely admit that I'm not the easiest person to live with. But that's only to be expected. It's very difficult to live with someone who is never wrong...

In any event, my wife is a good woman who puts up with a lot. Oh sure, she has her moments ... but even at her worst she's miles ahead of this wacko.

No beer led to ceramic squirrel stabbing
South Carolina authorities say a 44-year-old woman angry at a man for returning home without beer on Christmas beat and stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel.

The Charleston County Sheriff's office says in a report that deputies found a man covered with blood when they arrived at Helen Williams' North Charleston home early Wednesday. She told investigators the man fell and cut himself, but couldn't explain why her hands and clothes were also bloody.

Deputies say the man said Williams was so angry when he returned without beer because stores were closed on Christmas Eve that she grabbed a ceramic squirrel, beat him in the head, then stabbed him in the shoulder and chest.
God help that poor guy if he ever comes home without something she really wants...


Old NFO said...

Wowzer... Glad 'I' let that one get away... LOL

Toejam said...

"stabbed him with a ceramic squirrel."

Maybe that was actually more humane than the usual, endless verbal harranging most wives mete out wile following the husband around the house.

At least it was over fairly quickly.

Harper said...

What kind of decor includes a ceramic squirrel?

This story made me take a look around our home and wonder what knick-knack would be close at hand should a beating need to commence. I have several Polish pottery cheese ladies, Lee and Grant nutcrackers, one of those Galileo thermometers and a dozen or so kid-created art projects gathering dust. Nothing nearly as newsworthy as 'ceramic squirrel'.

CenTexTim said...

NFO and Toejam - My second ex-wife attacked me once with a pair of scissors because I ignored her "endless verbal harranging". She said being ignored pissed her off more than being argued with.

We got divorced shortly after that...

Harper - I guess the most newsworthy thing my wife could stab me with would be one of the deer heads hanging on the wall.

I asked her what she would use in such an event. Her answer: "I'm not telling."

I'll be sleeping with one eye open tonight.