An Air Force F-16 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.
The F-16 pilot radioed the the B-52 crew saying, "Anything you can do, I can do better."
Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge.
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however.
Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?"
"We just shut down two engines."
As an Army veteran, I always found Navy rank confusing. So I asked a friend of mine who was a retired Chief Petty Officer to explain it to me.
"Ensigns wear a gold bar representing that they are valuable BUT malleable.
The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable.
When an officer makes Lieutenant, he is twice as valuable, so we give him two silver bars.
As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle.
As an Admiral, you're obviously a star. That answer your question?"
I replied "Sort of. But what about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?"
"Now that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves ... "
A soldier, a marine, a sailor, and an airman were in a car wreck. All four were killed. Soon, they found themselves in Heaven.
After St. Peter let them in, they asked him to settle a long-running argument: which branch of the service is the best?
St. Peter replied, "I can't answer that. But I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him."
Some time later, the four men see St. Peter again and ask him if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. The dove was carrying a note in its beak. St. Peter opened the note and read it out loud to the four fellows:
"Gentlemen: All the Branches of the Service are Honorable and Noble. Each oneof you has served your country well. Be proud of that.
-- (signed) GOD, USMC (Ret.)
After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, a new soldier eagerly asked the recruiter what to expect from jump school.
"Well," the recruiter said, "it's three weeks long."
"What else," asked the private.
"The first week they separate the men from the boys," the recruiter replied. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools."
"And the third week?"
"The third week, the fools jump."
2 comments:
All good ones, and here's the rest of the story on the acft maintenance one above... http://www.aircraftresourcecenter.com/Stories1/001-100/0010_F-18_Refueling/story0010.htm
Thanks for the story link. I had no idea that's what happened.
Reminds me of a pilot friend of mine who always starts his stories with "There I was at 30,000 feet. No comms, out of ammo, out of fuel, and I had to take a piss."
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