Sunday Funnies 2012.06.24

Jerry Sandusky was convicted yesterday. Eric Holder is facing contempt of congress charges, and if there's any justice in this world will eventually face criminal charges as well. So today's theme is prisons and prisoners.

One fellow sent to prison was excited about the prospect of serving his full term. When asked why, he said the entire time he's been narried his wife had never let him finish a sentence.

Q:  What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A:  A small medium at large.

It's a convict's first day in prison. He's a young man and is worried about what to expect. An older convict sits down next to him and says, "Look, calm down, prison's not such a bad place. For instance, do you like movies?"

The young man says "Sure."

The older convict replies "Every Monday we show a movie on the screen, first run movie." He goes on, "And do you like baseball?"

"Sure do," is the response. "I love the game."

"Every Tuesday we arrange a baseball game," the old con says. "How about Italian food?"

Are you kidding," exclaims the kid. That's my favorite."

The old guy says, "On Wednesdays we have a pasta bar buffet with all the trimmings."

"Let me ask you one more thing," the old convict continues. "Do you enjoy sex with men?"

Absolutely not!" yells the kid.

"Oh, then you're going to really hate Thursdays."