The Golden Fleece Lives

Several years ago there was a U.S. Senator named William Proxmire (D-Wisconsin) who gained fame for issuing what he called the Golden Fleece award, which highlighted examples of wasteful government spending.

A couple of my personal favorites: $97,000 spent by the National Institute for Mental Health to study what took place in a Peruvian brothel (the researchers said they made repeated visits in the interests of accuracy), and $58,000 spent by the FAA to study the physical measurements of airlines stewardesses (with special attention paid to the "length of the buttocks"). While those amounts may sound low by today's standards, keep in mind that this all took place over three decades ago, when a dollar was worth quite a bit more than it is today.

In the spirit of the Golden Fleece, I'd like to highlight a couple of examples of ludicrous government behavior that, while they may not have exact price tags, nonetheless are indicative of an out-of-control agency that answers to no one.

The first case is pretty self-explanatory. The EPA is requiring oil refiners to include in the gasoline they produce an additive that, quite simply, does not exist.

And in true government bureaucratic tradition the EPA is fining the refiners for non-compliance.

Federal regulations can be maddening, but none more so than a current one that demands oil refiners use millions of gallons of a substance, cellulosic ethanol, that does not exist.

"As ludicrous as that sounds, it's fact," says Charles Drevna, who represents refiners. "If it weren't so frustrating and infuriating, it would be comical."

And Tom Pyle of the Institute of Energy Research says, "the cellulosic biofuel program is the embodiment of government gone wild."

Refiners are at their wit's end because the government set out requirements to blend cellulosic ethanol back in 2005, assuming that someone would make it. Seven years later, no one has.

"None, not one drop of cellulosic ethanol has been produced commercially. It's a phantom fuel," says Pyle. "It doesn't exist in the market place."

And Charles Drevna adds, "forcing us to use a product that doesn't exist, they might as well tell us to use unicorns."

And pixie dust. Don't forget the pixie dust.

The EPA, which would not speak on camera, is still hoping production of cellulosic ethanol will emerge.

Hope in one hand. Crap in the other. See which one fills up first.

A study by the Congressional Research Service, however, says the government "projects that cellulosic bio fuels are not expected to be commercially available on a large scale until at least 2015."

So the refiners are now suing the EPA, in part because the mandate gets larger and larger-- 500 million gallons this year, 3 billion in 2015 and 16 billion in 2022.

And still, not a gallon of cellulosic ethanol in sight.

The whole ethanol thing is nothing but a giant scam perpetrated on this country by an unholy alliance between the greenies and the farm states (including, of course, Big Ag). But that's a story for another day.


One a lighter note, the EPA is requiring another federal agency, the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) to jump through hoops and measure ... well, read the article for yourself.

With new air quality regulations looming for the Pinedale (Wyoming) region, Bureau of Land Management officials are hoping they won’t have to start tracking emissions from an often-overlooked source: local livestock.

Starting next month, the Environmental Protection Agency will designate the Upper Green River valley as being in “nonattainment” of federal ozone standards...

The "nonattainment" (don't you just love bureaucratic lingo) is a result of increased natural gas drilling and production in the region. I won't even go into the governmental 'logic' behind that designation. Regardless, one result of being designated in "nonattainment" (there's that word again) is:

... the BLM will have to account for expected emissions from all of its activities in the area, no matter how insignificant. And that’s where the cows come in.

The BLM’s Pinedale field office leases about 912,000 acres of grazing land for cattle. The EPA estimates a cow emits an average of 80 to 110 kilograms of methane, an ozone-causing gas, per year.

According to EPA regulations, "the BLM would have to find out exactly how many cattle are munching grass on federal land — and how much methane they subsequently release."

Yes, you read that right. One agency of the federal government is requiring another agency to measure cow farts.

"How was work today, dear?"
"Don't ask..."

Hell, if they're that worried about a bunch of bloviating bovines releasing vast quantities of noxious gases into the air they should measure the the release of fumes by congresscritters and regulatory drones in Washington D.C.

The entire area would have to be declared an environmental hazard and shut down.

Which would be a good thing...