What Were They Thinking?

Sometimes -- no, make that ofttimes -- I wonder what on earth my fellow Americans are thinking. Today's example is a recent poll regarding who people would choose to write a new national anthem.

First, there's absolutely nothing wrong with our current anthem. Yes, it's hard to sing, but so what? The Star Spangled Banner has served us well since Francis Scott Key wrote it back in 1814. But for the sake of argument, let's take a look at the poll.

According to a poll conducted by Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes...

Oh Lord, this should be good.

...22 percent of Americans would choose Springsteen if they were asked to find someone to do it (write a new national anthem). Why not, after all? The guy is an upstanding, letter-writing citizen, the bard of the American working man and a guy many fellow New Jerseyans think should be Governor. Plus, he did write a song about being born in the USA.

Although many people think Born in the USA is a patriotic song, it's actually not. Check out the lyrics.

"Born In The U.S.A."

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Got in a little hometown jam so they put a rifle in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man
Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says "son if it was up to me"
Went down to see my V.A. man
He said "son don't you understand now"
Had a brother at Khe Sahn fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there he's all gone
He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now
Down in the shadow of penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go
Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a long gone daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a cool rocking daddy in the U.S.A.

Not exactly something to make your heart swell with pride and love of country, is it?

Dolly Parton came in second place at 19 percent and Stevie Wonder came in not too far behind with 18 percent. And despite his iconic image and newly awarded Medal of Freedom, Bob Dylan fell a little bit further behind with just 11 percent.

Dolly Parton? I know we as a people are fascinated with breasts, and I like Dolly as a C&W performer, but for writing a new anthem...? Not a good choice.

Stevie Wonder gets a "maybe" from me -- think of something along the lines of America the Beautiful, but with soul.

Dylan? No friggin' way.

As far as other musicians went, composer John Williams garnered 10 percent, Jay-Z got 8 percent and Madonna came in with 5 percent.

John Williams (of Star Wars and other movie themes) has never, as far as I know, written anything with lyrics. I like his music, but I'm not sure what he could do with words.

Jay-Z and Madonna?!? Sorry, but they make noise, not music.

Again, for the sake of argument, who would be your pick to write a new anthem?

Like I said, I think Stevie Wonder would do a good job, but I'd have to go with John Fogerty ( ("Proud Mary", "Bad Moon Rising", "Fortunate Son", "Centerfield," among others).