Sunday Funnies 2016.01.24

While much of the east coast is digging out from under feet of snow, I spent most of yesterday at an outdoor gun range. Today I'm playing in a golf tournament.

I love living in Texas!

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Snow!
Snow who?
Snow laughing matter.

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Now winter was here and a monster snowstorm was bearing down on us. I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.

"If those two old ladies could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

Last night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero, when the blonde got off work. She made her way to the parking lot and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her snowy situation. She then remembered her daddy's advice that if she ever got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough, in a little while, a snowplow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snowplow, she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signalled for her to roll down her window.

The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.

The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue doing so if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Home Depot next.

Wordless Saturday

Busy weekend ahead. More about that later, but in the interim here's a Saturday version of Wordless Wednesday.

No theme, just random stuff...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2016.01.22

Did you ever come home late at night, only to be met by an irate wife/girlfriend?

Me neither.

But just in case that ever does happen to you, do like this guy and stick to your story.

Run Hillary Run

There have been rumblings within the democrat party that the nomination process is rigged in favor of hillary.

Facing increasing resistance from candidates and party officials, Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz ... stood firmly by her plan to hold exactly six presidential debates...

"We're having six debates–period," the Florida congresswoman said at a Christian Science Monitor breakfast in Washington, repeating that pledge several times over the course of an hour, even when pressed on former Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley's claims that the process is "rigged" against all candidates other than former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

"We’re not changing the process. We’re having six debates," she said...

That was back in September. Now fast forward to the present, where hillary's campaign is floundering and she's slipping in the polls.

Problem No. 1: Hillary's poll numbers are tanking in Iowa and New Hampshire — and eroding in once-safe South Carolina — thanks in large part to Bernie Sanders' successful effort to tie Hillary to big banks and fat cat donors.

Problem No. 2: Hillary is blaming the staff at her Brooklyn campaign headquarters for all her problems — sinking poll numbers and Bernie's endorsement by such liberal organizations as Moveon.org. Morale in Brooklyn is at an all-time low. At Hillary's urging, Huma Abedin, Hillary's "adopted daughter," is bitching at volunteers and salaried employees in Brooklyn and making their lives miserable.

Problem No. 3: Several of those disaffected volunteers and employees have quit in a snit and joined the Bernie Sanders campaign.

Problem No. 4: Chelsea Clinton is feared and loathed at the Brooklyn campaign headquarters. She barges into meetings without being invited and throws her weight around. Chelsea has taken on the role of Hillary's attack dog in recent campaign appearances. David Axelrod, the architect of Obama's two White House victories, says that Chelsea is doing more harm than good and needs to be reined in.

Problem No. 5: Bill Clinton is constantly lecturing Hillary on what she's doing wrong and how she should campaign. Hillary has stopped listening to Bill; she doesn't invite him to take part in campaign conference calls. As a result, Bill has been left on his own, and the campaign never knows what he's going to say or do next.

Problem No. 6: No less a liberal publication than the New York Times has finally caught up with (hillary's) biggest problem...

As the Times put it: "[Some] Democratic Party officials who remain uncommitted said that after nine months of running, Mrs. Clinton still has not found her voice when it came to inspiring people and making herself broadly likable."

My takeaway from that article is that all the Clintons seem to suffer from the same notion - that they are royalty, and everyone else are peasants. Not to mention that they're all serial liars who believe the rules don't apply to them.

Anyway, back to Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the debates.

One of the larger embarrassments for the Democrats this year has been DNC chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s stubborn insistence that there would only be a few debates before the voting begins and they would be held on weekends when nobody was watching. She has continually insisted that this was the best way for their candidates to showcase their talents and get their message out.

That may have been fine when hillary's coronation was proceeding smoothly. However, now that some bumps have appeared in her road to the crown presidency, it looks like hillary's BFF Deb is changing the rules.

... All of a sudden there’s a new debate taking place this coming Monday, and it’s happening in prime time on CNN. (Vanity Fair)

    A last-minute town-hall-style event, announced Wednesday by CNN and scheduled to take place just one week before the Iowa caucuses, could be a saving grace for Hillary Clinton, whose presidential campaign has faced an unexpectedly formidable challenge from Democratic rival Bernie Sanders.

    The prime-time gathering will air Monday at nine P.M., a huge change from the three debates that the Democratic National Committee scheduled on inconvenient weekend nights.

Of course, this being the democrats, such a change is accompanied by some fancy word-parsing.

Clearly there was some coordination with DWS (Debbie Wasserman Schultz) going on here because she’s got an easy out built into the formula when reporters come to challenger on the blatant, hypocritical flip flop. This isn’t a debate, you see. It’s a town hall style event. That will probably come as a disappointment to Sanders in particular since the candidates won’t be able to answer, challenge or attack each other directly. But all three will get a turn with the moderator in front of what could potentially be a sizable audience.

This seems like something of a desperation move on the part of the Clinton campaign because they run the risk of a moderator asking uncomfortable questions about the new Benghazi movie or the FBI circling like hawks over the remains of her bathroom based email server brimming with Beyond Top Secret documents. So why do it? Moe Lane at RedState smells panic in the air.

    [T]he important thing here is that this is a last-minute change to the mechanism. And, like most last-minute changes of this type, it reeks of nervous terror and failure. The Democratic party Establishment does not want to run a white, old, socialist-loving ideologue… but they want to run Bernie Sanders even less, so they need to prop up Hillary Clinton somehow...

 A lot of attention has been focused on the republican primary,which is being billed as a struggle between the establishment and more extreme factions within the party. But the same is true for the democrats. hillary and the Clinton machine clearly represent traditional established democrat interests, while Bernie is the champion of those leaning further to the left. Right now it looks like the extremists on both sides have a good chance to win, which would set up one hell of an entertaining presidential race.

In the meantime, I'm sitting back and enjoying watching hillary squirm...

Weekend Weather Update

There is so much going on in the world today that one post per day just won't do it justice. So here is today's second post. You can scroll down below this one to the the first post (or if you're too lazy just click here).

One of the developing stories today is Winter Strom Jonas threatening to wreak havoc on the eastern seaboard.

Virginia, DC declare states of emergency as East Coast braces for winter storm

Washington, D.C. declared a state of emergency Thursday ahead of the oncoming winter storm set to dump up to 2 feet of snow on the nation's capital and affecting states from the mid-Atlantic to New England.

The National Weather Service said in a statement 12 to 16 inches of snow could come down between Friday night and Sunday morning around the Interstate 95 corridor. As much as a foot of snow is possible for Philadelphia's northern suburbs.

Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe also issued a state of emergency Thursday...

If I lived in that area, I'd be worried - especially given local government's less than stellar response to the first snow of the season yesterday.

(Washington, D.C. ) Mayor Muriel Bowser also apologized on behalf of the district for what she described as a weak response to car crashes and gridlock after less than an inch of snow fell Wednesday. "We should have been out earlier with more resources," she added.

Things were so bad that obama was struck in traffic for over an hour. Now he knows what the rest of us mortals have to deal with.

Obama Stuck in Bad Traffic Due to Inch of Snow

A 15.7 mile road trip from Andrews Air Force Base to the White House took the president more than an hour last night as the Washington, D.C. area was hit with its first snow fall of the season. The total cumulation of snow last night was 1 inch.

For Obama and his presidential motorcade, the drive took one hour and fourteen minutes.

"Departing at 7:26 p.m., President Obama's motorcade made its way slowly from Joint Base Andrews to the White House through the snowy streets of suburban Maryland and Washington, D.C., stopping at most stoplights and easing its way through slow and crowded traffic, often employing sirens and flashing lights," the White House pool reporter said.

"The vans slipped and skidded on the icy roads, making contact several times with the curb during the more suburban part of the drive. After nearly an hour, the motorcade vehicles started making more aggressive use of their sirens and stoplight privileges.

Ordinarily the president travels between Andrews and the White House on Marine One but was forced last night to motorcade due to inclement weather.

Down here in Texas, we know how to deal with snow.

Anyway, as a public service here is the Bergheim Follies version of this weekend's weather forecast for all you yankees.

An Unknown Hero

It seems like every day there is some new report of a terrorist attack somewhere in the world. Sadly, such incidents have become so commonplace that we tend to skim them briefly, or ignore them altogether - especially when they occur in remote places that we have little knowledge of or connection to.

The latest example is an attack on a university in Pakistan.

Militants raided a university in northwest Pakistan Wednesday, timing their attack to a ceremony at the school to ensure maximum casualties. They slaughtered at least 19 people, authorities said.

... analysts say the attack probably is the work of the (Pakistani Taliban).

The attackers threw grenades, pushed their way onto campus and opened fire, army spokesman Lt. Gen. Asim Bajwa said.

(A student at the school, Zahoor) Khan said he saw his chemistry professor shot while advising students to stay inside.

The above excerpt is from a CNN story on the attack. At first glance, it seems thorough enough. The story answers the "who, what, where, when, and why" questions. But I happened to stumble across another story on the same incident that included some additional facts.

An armed Pakistani teacher is hailed as a hero after Taliban terrorist attack

After terrorists killed about 150 people at a school in northwestern Pakistan 13 months ago, officials started arming teachers and gave them weapons training.

Like the debate over guns in schools in the United States and elsewhere, the move was controversial and divided parents and academic officials. But a Pakistani teacher armed with a pistol is being credited with saving lives during a terrorist attack Wednesday at Bacha Khan University in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province.

According to Agence France-Presse, Syed Hamid Husain, an assistant chemistry professor, pulled out his pistol and began firing at two of the attackers as they neared a classroom. But the 27-year-old teacher was outgunned by the militants, who were armed with assault rifles. After a gun battle, Husain was killed, students said.

Husain is the same chemistry professor who was mentioned in the CNN story. There was, however, no mention there of his heroic actions.

... students at the college in Charsadda, about 30 miles from Peshawar, say Husain is a hero. By pulling out his weapon, they told reporters, their teacher gave them time to escape.

“I saw a bullet hit him,” a student told AFP. “I saw two militants were firing. I ran inside and then managed to flee by jumping over the back wall.”

In an interview with The Washington Post, another student confirmed that Husain took out his pistol as the attack unfolded.

Shaid Malik, 22, a geology student, said he and some friends rushed out of their room when they heard gunfire.

“We saw the professor standing there with a gun in his hand,” he said. “He told us to rush back to our rooms and do not open the door for anyone.

“When the firing stopped, after a while, we came down and saw the professor dead, lying on the ground with the same gun in his hand.”

Another student, Mohammad Shabeer, said Husain held off the attackers for 15 minutes before he was killed.

I'm not a big fan of Pakistan, but give that country credit for one thing. After the attack 13 months ago that killed 150 people, Pakistani officials realized they didn't have the resources to protect every school. So they began voluntary training courses for teachers who wanted to bring firearms into the classroom.

We here in America would do well to consider similar action.

The wisdom of that move was proven by Syed Hamid Husain, a hero who deserves recognition and acclaim beyond a footnote by CNN.

Taking A Look At The News

Catching up on a few stories from the past few days:

First, an update on the New Year's Eve attacks on German women in the city of Cologne "by gangs of men described by the authorities as having “a North African or Arabic” appearance."

It turns out there were earlier attacks, there were more victims, and there is a mounting backlash.

Earlier Attacks

FURY is growing in Germany over mounting evidence of ANOTHER cover-up of migrant sex crimes after it emerged a welcome party for refugees held two months before the Cologne rapes descended into a mass groping session.

Police and victims have furiously demanded to know why organisers did not warn them that refugees had committed abhorrent sexual harassment amid speculation such information could have helped avert the sickening attacks on New Year's Eve.

Young women had to flee the welcome event in terror after being groped by gangs of migrant men, even though organisers repeatedly interrupted the music with messages in Arabic urging them to stop their harassment.

Today the council official responsible for the integration of refugees in the Cologne region admitted organisers knew about the sex attacks at the event but did not want to make a fuss. (emphasis added)

"Did not want to make a fuss"?!? A bunch of foreign thugs assault your women and denigrate your culture, and you do not want to make a fuss? You have no business holding public office if your first priority is to protect those who would destroy your way of life, instead of protecting your country and its citizens.

The fallout from the Cologne attacks continued to hit Germany today, with officials in another city revealing they had to cancel a planned carnival because of fears of a Cologne-style attack on visitors.

Organisers of the Rose Monday carnival parade, in Rheinberg near Dortmund, said the event was being axed "for security reasons" linked to the horrific events on New Year's Eve.

More Victims

German prosecutors say more than 800 complaints have now been filed in connection with assaults and robberies in Cologne on New Year’s Eve that investigators have linked largely to foreigners.

Mounting Backlash

The controversy over what German Chancellor Angela Merkel has called the most complex challenge of her 10-year term has reached a near-boiling point after horrifying, mass New Year’s Eve attacks on women in the city of Cologne.

...there have been protests against Merkel’s open-door policies that have allowed more than 1 million migrants and refugees to flow into the country since last year.

Retaliatory violence against foreigners has also stemmed from the attacks...

Moral of the story: Be careful who you allow into your country.

Second moral: Political Correctness will be the end of us all.

Second, a recap of recent events surrounding Iran's capture of two U.S. patrol boats.

Navy Releases Timeline of Iran’s Capture of U.S. Sailors

...the Defense Department on Monday released a timeline of events surrounding the seizure, but the account was spare on new details and left several fundamental questions unanswered.

The timeline did not explain why the crews of two patrol boats — which the military said were supposed to remain in international waterways — deviated from their course and strayed into Iranian territorial waters. Nor did it explain why they allowed Iranian sailors to board their boats, or why the boats’ communications equipment apparently failed, cutting them off from their superiors.

In other words, it told us when, but left out what and why. No much of an update.

The capture was highly embarrassing for the Navy. It came just hours before President Obama’s last State of the Union address and while American and Iranian diplomats were in the final stages of negotiating a prisoner swap. The Iranian government was also taking its last measures to comply with the nuclear deal, which allowed economic sanctions against the country to be lifted on Saturday.

Speaking of that prisoner swap, it was another one-sided deal.

Iran’s release of several hostages is, of course, wonderful news for these Americans and their loved ones — but how Team Obama got it done is ugly indeed.

First: It’s a de facto prisoner exchange — of Americans who had done nothing wrong, for Iranians charged with or convicted of real crimes...

The State Department made noises about how the exchange set no precedent. Yet Tehran knows it can seize US citizens on trumped-up charges, and Washington will free Iranian agents to get the hostages back.

Second: The White House sprang the deal the day it was unlocking $100 billion in Iranian assets as per the nuclear accord.

That is: Team Obama timed this news to take the sting out of a wildly unpopular move — playing politics with a hostage release.

Third is that President Obama has given up so much to get here — the latest sanctions undone, and others set aside just to get Tehran to the table to start the nuke talks.

Obama & Co. insist the nuclear understanding will pave the way to better Iranian behavior, but none of our allies in the region — from the Israelis to the Saudis — buys it.

Instead, they’re figuring out what they have to do to guard their own security now that America no longer has their backs.

I don't know why anyone is surprised at all this. It's just another step in the ongoing transformation of the democrat party under obama.

Next, there was this interesting story from the world of crime.

Manual transmission foils Pittsburgh carjackers

 A stick shift stopped two would-be carjackers who robbed a man at gunpoint in Pittsburgh.

... the suspects took his cellphone and asked for the car keys — but lost interest in taking the car when he mentioned it's a stick-shift...

WardsAuto, which tracks car manufacturing data, says about 7 percent of vehicles sold in the United States in 2014 had manual transmissions. That's down from about 35 percent in 1980.

Finally, there's still hope for your New Year's resolutions.

The Best Way to Keep a New Year’s Resolution

Millions of people resolve at the beginning of each year to make themselves and their lives better, but many fail to reach those goals. One expert, Frank Farley, a professor of psychological studies in education at Philadelphia’s Temple University, ... offers some tips for making them more successful.

It's too late for me. Save yourself!

Debate This

Apparently there was some sort of democrat debate Sunday night featuring two over-the-hill contenders.

Pretty clever strategy - holding it on the same evening as the NFL playoffs. In the long run, however, it won't make much difference. It's just more of the same-old same-old.

Speaking of terrorism, it looks like lifers in the State Department are beginning to hedge their bets in the event the hildebeast doesn't get coronated elected after all.

The revelation last week that the State Dept. has discovered thousands of documents highly relevant to the Benghazi investigation can mean only one thing.  The permanent civil servants have now become more fearful of being left holding the bag for Hillary in the form of a perjury charge in Judicial Watch’s document case than of pressure from above to stonewall.

Evidence for perjury charges charges in blocking release of documents might be discovered by the next administration, and the certainty of Hillary Clinton running that next administration has been severely diminished.  The State Department bureaucrats now fear the possible charges more than any potential retaliation from the White House in the waning days of Obama’s administration.

In fact, the top trending question on Google during the debate was "Will Hillary Clinton get prosecuted?"

"Will Hillary Clinton get prosecuted?" is the top question being asked on Google searches concerning the Democratic front-runner during the debate, in Charleston, S.C.

But Clinton isn't the only Democrat to have harsh questions asked about her on Google searches during the debate.

The top trending question for Bernie Sanders is "why is Bernie Sanders so popular?"

And the top trending question for third-place candidate Martin O'Malley is, "Why is Martin O'Malley running for president?"

Things have gotten so bad for hillary's campaign that she has resorted to having her husband campaign for her, albeit on a short leash.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign can’t ignore the former POTUS – after all, without his political career nobody would consider Hillary for a political job of any consequence (never forget that she was fired from the House Watergate Committee, her first independent foray into politics). Looking back on her political career, she has done best when exercising the least power. Hillarycare led to her retirement from the “co-presidency” and her career as a senator was undistinguished. The less said about the results of her reign as the nation’s top diplomat, the better.

But Bill on his own is a wild card.  He is a fundamentally undisciplined soul, subject to legendarily uncontrollable appetites, and in constant need of approval from others. Out among the masses, he can be like Harpo Marx spotting a pretty girl walking by, pursuing mindlessly the shiny object that captured his attention. At his advanced age and physical health, those shiny objects are not solely carnal, they involve attention, notice, and comment. In short: Bill is a publicity hog.

So what's a gal to do? She needs him, but he's a loose cannon. The best she can do is try to keep him under control.

As Hillary Clinton fends off a rising challenge from Bernie Sanders, his wife's campaign aides are grappling with how best to deploy what she has described as her "not-so-secret weapon."

Their answer: very, very carefully.

During campaign swings through Iowa and New Hampshire, Bill Clinton treaded fastidiously through tightly controlled campaign events. A natural-born chit-chatter, he was not giving interviews. When he stopped to talk with reporters after one recent event, campaign aides turned up the music, making a conversation all but impossible.

Now there's a great mental picture. Some hapless staffer following Bill around with a boom box, under orders to crank up the volume when his speech is over.

That may not be a bad idea.

Stay tuned. It promises to be a wildly entertaining ride...

Calling BS

Like most Americans, I don't know for sure what happened with the capture of two American gunboats by Iran, but like most Americans I call BS on the story being spun by the obama administration.

First, the still-unfolding semi-official story:

As more information has come to light through the debriefs, it's now understood that the crew decided to "cut a corner" to make up time to get to a planned refueling point. It's not clear whether they were lower on fuel than expected.

That change of course began a series of events that led them apparently unknowingly into Iranian waters, officials said.

The crew stopped to fix an engine problem on one of the boats, not realizing they had drifted too close to Iran's Farsi Island, the official said.

Two others defense officials also said it appears the crew was so involved in fixing the engine that they didn't realize where they were until the Iranians boats approached them.

I don't claim to be an expert in naval affairs, and I damn sure don't underestimate the capability of junior officers to make 'unexpected' decisions, but I just can't see the Navy LT in charge of the mission to "cut a corner" in that dangerous and sensitive part of the world.

I also question how both boats could lose communications at the same time. Ditto for the 'mechanical breakdown' story. After all, I carry a tow strap in my truck. I'd like to think the US Navy is more prepared than me.

Apparently, I'm not the only one questioning the 'official' story.

...unlikely is any notion that with the multiple communications channels of special ops vessels and multiple navigation aids anyone on board them got lost, was without communications, or drifted while doing repairs anywhere near the Fars Islands. Look at a map. The course from Bahrain to Kuwait is not only direct, it is almost directly N-S and given the shallow draft capability of these vessels, both boats could have proceeded with the Arabian coast in sight the entire time.

So how did they get more than 70 miles and 90 degrees off their course, (some “short cut”) which at their speeds of more than 40 mph would have taken over an hour one way, and fall into the 12 mile limit of the Farsi Islands claimed by Iran?

In short, they didn’t.

Fifth Fleet knew exactly where they were at all times, just as it knows exactly where all the other NATO vessels, which practically pave the Persian Gulf these days are. And they had the option to back them up with air and sea power if they were allowed to.

Shades of Benghazi.

Here's what a former SEAL has to say:

... I was a Navy SEAL officer in the 1980s, and this kind of operation (transiting small boats in foreign waters) was our bread and butter. Today, these boats both not only had radar, but multiple GPS devices, including chart plotters that place your boat's icon right on the chart. The claim by Iran that the USN boats "strayed into Iranian waters" is complete bull$‪#‎it.

For an open-water transit between nations, the course is studied and planned in advance by the leaders of the Riverine Squadron, with specific attention given to staying wide and clear of any hostile nation's claimed territorial waters. The boats are given a complete mechanical check before departure, and they have sufficient fuel to accomplish their mission plus extra. If, for some unexplainable and rare circumstance one boat broke down, the other would tow it, that's why two boats go on these trips and not one! It's called "self-rescue" and it's SOP.

This entire situation is in my area of expertise. I can state with complete confidence that both Iran and our own State Department are lying. The boats did not enter Iranian waters. They were overtaken in international waters by Iranian patrol boats that were so superior in both speed and firepower that it became a "hands up!" situation, with automatic cannons in the 40mm to 76mm range pointed at them point-blank. Surrender, hands up, or be blown out of the water. I assume that the Iranians had an English speaker on a loudspeaker to make the demand. This takedown was no accident or coincidence, it was a planned slap across America's face.

Just watch. The released sailors will be ordered not to say a word about the incident, and the Iranians will have taken every GPS device, chart-plotter etc off the boats, so that we will not be able to prove where our boats were taken.

The "strayed into Iranian waters" story being put out by Iran and our groveling and appeasing State Dept. is utter and complete BS from one end to the other.

That sure makes more sense to me than the nonsense being peddled by obama and kerry. I think they just wanted another excuse to showcase how well they can grovel and apologize...

Sunday Funnies 2016.01.17

Visited the ER last night. Nothing serious, thankfully.

Speaking of the ER:

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.

"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'”

One night in the Emergency Department, when a punk rocker entered complaining of severe abdominal pain and a fever.

The young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing.

It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo reading, "Keep off the grass!"

After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times.

"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."

The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent."

Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"

The local EMS had an interesting call last week at the local upholstery shop... guy fell into an automatic slipcover machine.

Don't worry, though. The hospital said he's fully recovered.

The ER drug closet was burglarized overnight. Seems the thieves made off with several cases of Viagra. Police say they're looking for hardened criminals.

I Got Nuthin'

Sorry ... nothing much today. On the road and busy. Please check in tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a Hillary joke to tide you over.

Celebrity impersonator Rich Little made a joke on MSNBC Tuesday night implying that Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton no longer participate in, uh, marital activities. 

The Las Vegas-based comedian was brought on as a guest following the Democratic debate to do impressions of classic politicians like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter. “What about Hillary?” asked guest Joan Walsh. 

“I don’t do Hillary,” Little said, before laughing and adding, “But then, neither does Bill.

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2016.01.15

One more last chance ... just what many of us need.

Anyone But Hillary

Some interesting observations about hillary. Maybe she's not as invincible as the media makes her out to be.

Thursday’s Fox Business News Republican presidential debate in Charleston will likely overshadow Sunday’s Democratic debate in that same city.

At least that’s the hope of Debbie Wasserman Schultz , a Hillary sycophant who chairs the Democratic National Committee. She has allowed only a half-dozen debates (recently on Saturday evenings). This is akin to the State Department releasing Hillary’s emails on Fridays. Both obfuscations are not working.

... expect Hillary, who, after discouraging polls on Tuesday, toughened her attack on Bernie’s voting record, to blame inner city black-on-black crime on soft-on-gun-control Sanders, who will respond with passionate indignation.

Of course, no one will place the blame where it really belongs - squarely on the shoulders of the black so-called 'leaders' who are nothing but welfare pimps, and their white liberal enablers.

The Congressional Black Caucus is in Hillary’s corner, but Sanders might bring up Bill Clinton’s mass incarceration policies, which the Clintons now disown. Reacting to Tavis Smiley, who said on Monday that on every economic issue black Americans under President Obama have lost ground on the economy, all three Democrats will blame Republicans, not Obama.

Previously noted here.

The latest polls show that Sanders could win Iowa, especially if he draws new voters. An Iowa victory would ensure that Vermont’s Sanders wins neighboring New Hampshire, where he already is leading. Those results would give Sanders momentum -- even in the South.

... if Hillary falters, party bosses will change the convention rules so that a late entrant -- Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, or John Kerry -- could be the nominee. Biden’s praise two days ago for Bernie’s “authenticity” over Hillary on economic issues is further evidence he sees Bernie as a possible stalking horse. Nonetheless, Bernie now thinks he can win, so look for him to be more aggressive in Sunday’s debate, especially as he responds in kind to Hillary’s attacks.

I'd love to see Uncle Joe enter the race. It would be like a clown car wreck - funny and bloody at the same time. I'd grab a beer (or two...) and a bowl of popcorn and pull up a chair in front of the TV to watch that debate.

Beyond the debate, Hillary is under siege. Developing issues will affect general election polls, effectively helping Sanders claim he would be a better candidate in November.

(1) Benghazi and mistrust of Hillary. Benghazi is not an issue for Democrats, but trust does affect independents. This week, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi opens in theaters. It doesn’t mention Hillary, but it will impact her, especially among younger voters. And remember, Charles Woods, the father of Navy SEAL Ty Woods (who was killed at Benghazi), says Hillary lied to him at Andrews Air Force Base on the arrival of his son’s casket. Even if O’Malley does not mention the movie or Woods in Sunday’s debate , Benghazi will not go away.

In a related note, the father of one of the victims "discussed a journal entry he had written following his conversation with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton after the death of his son." In that entry, dated Sep. 15, 2012, Charles Woods wrote “I gave Hillary a hug and shook her hand... And she said, ‘We are going to have the filmmaker arrested who was responsible for the death of your son.’”

For that alone she should be disqualified from holding any public office.

(2) Cosby and victims. Bill Cosby and Bill Clinton each settled a civil suit about possible sexual assault. Sanders has already described Bill Clinton’s conduct as “disgraceful and unacceptable,” then added, “I’m running against Hillary Clinton, not against Bill Clinton.”

Many African-American voters watching Sunday’s debate may believe it’s unfair to hold Cosby accountable, and not Clinton, for long-ago allegations of sexual misconduct... Even if Sanders on Sunday will not escalate from Bill’s infidelity to Hillary’s enabling, and then further to Hillary’s intimidation of victims, at least one Cosby criminal case and multiple Cosby civil cases will keep the discussion alive in the age of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

Yet it's the republicans that the media insists are waging a war on women.

(3) Investigation and possible indictment. Anyone who has had a high security clearance knows the routine – signing that you understand and will follow the classification protocols. There is a prima facie case for Hillary’s indictment, and failure to indict would undermine the system and compromise future prosecutions of others. If she is not indicted, look for damaging leaks against her. If she is indicted, she’ll claim a witch-hunt like the Whitewater investigation, but this would be Obama’s Justice Department.

In a fair and just world, shrillary would already have been indicted, arrested, and be facing trial for endangering national security. And let's not forget the (hopefully) ongoing investigation of the public corruption angle regarding Clinton Foundation donors and subsequent government favors.

(4) Health and age. Celebrity television physician Drew Pinsky wonders why Hillary is “getting such shoddy care.” That’s a nice way to inquire into her medical history and about possible lingering effects from her concussion. Pinsky notes recurrent blood clots in her leg, and the risk of pulmonary embolism. Others suggest a troubling matrix of symptoms – fatigue and mood swings, swelling and weight gain.

Maybe she'll do us all a favor and stroke out.

Trump, as only he can do, has put Hillary on notice about her frequent urination...

Perhaps it's time for the hildabeast to start wearing a piddle pack.

... if Hillary is her party’s nominee, her hardcore supporters will never leave her. But there could be defections among younger Democrats. And her victory among independent voters is hardly assured.

We can only hope...

One Down, Many More To Go

Maybe there's hope for America after all. It seems that the propaganda outlet of islamic terrorism has failed in its attempt to brainwash people in this country.

After months riddled with troubles and controversy at cable news channel Al Jazeera America, the company has revealed it is shutting down operations as of April 30.

According to CNNMoney, it’s estimated that hundreds of staffers will lose their jobs as a result. The announcement came during a staff meeting Wednesday, leaving many — including executives — in tears.

Oh boo-friggin'-hoo...

To put it lightly, the past few months hasn’t been great for the media company that began just two and a half years ago. For instance, the New York Times busted the station’s general counsel for “not having a license practice law.”

That fits the general modus operandi of Al Jazeera. Their reporters and commentators don't have a license to practice journalism.

There have also been lawsuits from former employees alleging there’s a culture of sexism and anti-Semitism in the newsroom.

Really?!? Sexism and anti-Semitism in a muslim-friendly media outlet? What a surprise!

Amidst the understandable shock and heartache among employees after learning the news, some tell the New York Daily News they saw it coming:

“This is a mercy killing — it’s like having a manic depressive father because you never know what the f— you’re waking up to with this company.”

With morale seemingly low, that’s not the only thing that’s hanging on by a thread.

Al Jazeera’s ratings are a third less than other major news networks...

OMG - you mean they even beat MSNBC?

Well, maybe not. I'm not sure MSNBC quaalifies as a 'major news network.'

The company’s CEO, Al Antsey, says she’s proud to have worked with such “excellent” journalists, but blames the “economic landscape of media” for closing up shop.

Two misstatements lies in one sentence. No wonder the islamic mouthpiece is going belly-up.

Good riddance to bad rubbish...

Wordless Wednesday 2016.01.13

Last night was obama's last State of the Union address (insert relieved sigh and prolonged applause here).

Thank God...