Just In Time For Valentine's Day

... some data on 'romance.'

Comedians have made entire careers out of the assumption that married people don’t have sex. However, according to new data, married couples are getting more action than a couple of bunnies at the onset of spring. In fact, they tend to have more sex than their single counterparts.

Contrary to what ads for Cialis would have you believe, advancing age does correlate with the amount of sex people have.

However, this is not set in stone. Even within this advanced age group, there are people who still report having intercourse at least four times a week, with married men and women still beating out their single counterparts.

And, whoa, what’s going on with ‘partnered women’ in that age group? You’re going to have to look way down to find ‘partnered men.’ So, assuming men and women are at some point “partnered” to each other – one might have a few “questions” to ask about partnered women: are those counting times having sex with or without one’s partner?

In any event, even men and women in the 18-to 24-year-old age group ‘do the deed’ more while married than as sad sack singles.

Just how much are they doing it? For married women, the “sweet spot” appears to be two to three times a week.

Married men are in the same boat, although falling slightly short of their female counterparts.

So, in case you were wondering, marriage is not a death sentence for your sex life... According to these charts, it may even enhance it.

No word on the frequency of sex for married men who don't deliver the goods - flowers and candy - on Valentine's Day.

I Got Nothing

The weather here has been absolutely drop dead gorgeous - highs hovering around 80, bluebird skies, light breezes and low humidity. I've been spending most of the last several days outdoors; golfing, yard work, taking the dogs for long walks, and just sitting on the porch with my wife and a bottle (or two) of wine. I have had little inclination to spend much time sitting at a keyboard. So today's post is a collection of random thoughts and in-basket tidbits.

Speaking of yard work, for Christmas I received a new chainsaw. I wasn't too sure about it, because it was an electric chain saw, not a gas one. But after using it a few times, I can give it an enthusiastic thumbs-up. It has plenty of power, the battery life is good, and you don't have to worry about oil/gas mixtures, or the gas in the tank going stale.

I use it mainly for trimming limbs, clearing brush, and cutting down small to medium sized trees. The largest tree I've cut down was about 12 inches in diameter, but I think it would suffice to fell larger ones. The biggest drawback is battery life. It lasts for about an hour of almost continuous use, but the good news is that the battery recharges quickly - an hour or less. I'm planning to buy a second battery, so by swapping out the two I should be able to use it more or less continuously. More info here, here, and here.

The remainder of today's post is visual, because as we all know, 1 picture = 1K words.

He Told Us So

There was an article in yesterday's Wall Street Journal discussing a report written fifty years ago by Daniel Patrick Moynihan.

Moynihan was an American original. He served as an adviser to four successive presidents - Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, and Ford. The observant among you will have noticed that they ranged from the very liberal to the very conservative. He served four terms in the U.S. Senate (D-NY). He was also ambassador to India and the U.N. He was a Navy veteran, serving during the end of WWII. He had advanced degrees in sociology and economics. All in all, he was an American Renaissance man. (Sources here and here.)

He was also uniquely qualified to comment on LBJ's Great Society. He did so with great insight into the underlying flaw of Johnson's misguided efforts to improve the status of poor blacks back in the 1960s (to clarify - it was not the intent that was misguided, but rather the way LBJ went about it).

Next month marks the 50th anniversary of the future senator’s report on the black family, the controversial document issued while he served as an assistant secretary in President Lyndon Johnson’s Labor Department. Moynihan highlighted troubling cultural trends among inner-city blacks, with a special focus on the increasing number of fatherless homes.

“The fundamental problem is that of family structure,” wrote Moynihan, who had a doctorate in sociology. “The evidence—not final but powerfully persuasive—is that the Negro family in the urban ghettos is crumbling.”

For his troubles, Moynihan was denounced as a victim-blaming racist bent on undermining the civil-rights movement. Even worse, writes Harvard’s Paul Peterson in the current issue of the journal Education Next, Moynihan’s “findings were totally ignored by those who designed public policies at the time.” The Great Society architects would go on to expand old programs or formulate new ones that exacerbated the problems Moynihan identified. Marriage was penalized and single parenting was subsidized. In effect, the government paid mothers to keep fathers out of the home—and paid them well.

“Economists and policy analysts of the day worried about the negative incentives that had been created,” writes Mr. Peterson. “Analysts estimated that in 1975 a household head would have to earn $20,000”—or an inflation-adjusted $88,000 today—“to have more resources than what could be obtained from Great Society programs.”

History has proved that Moynihan was onto something. When the report was released, about 25% of black children and 5% of white children lived in a household headed by a single mother. During the next 20 years the black percentage would double and the racial gap would widen. Today more than 70% of all black births are to unmarried women, twice the white percentage.

For decades research has shown that the likelihood of teen pregnancy, drug abuse, dropping out of school and many other social problems grew dramatically when fathers were absent. One of the most comprehensive studies ever done on juvenile delinquency—by William Comanor and Llad Phillips of the University of California, Santa Barbara, in 2002—concluded that “the most critical factor affecting the prospect that a male youth will encounter the criminal justice system is the presence of his father in the home.”

In 2012 the poverty rate for all blacks was more than 28%, but for married black couples it was 8.4% and has been in the single digits for two decades. Just 8% of children raised by married couples live in poverty, compared with 40% of children raised by single mothers.

Ultimately, the Moynihan report was an attempt to have an honest conversation about family breakdown and black pathology, one that most liberals still refuse to join. Faulting ghetto culture for ghetto outcomes remains largely taboo among those who have turned bad behavior into a symbol of racial authenticity.

Of course, any attempt today to have 'an honest conversation' about race, culture, and poverty is doomed to failure because one side of the discussion refuses to acknowledge those basic facts, and cries "racist" when the other side brings them up.

Moynihan anticipated this as well. In his own words:

"Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”

"... the central conservative truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. The central liberal truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself."

It is now obvious that the liberal belief that politics can change a culture is profoundly mistaken ... especially when political correctness forbids us from changing that culture.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

History Lesson - Firearms Of The Texas Frontier

In addition to the weather - 82 degrees yesterday, and not a cloud in the sky (I played golf in shorts and a short sleeved shirt) - here is yet another reason why I love living in Texas. We have cool history, and cool historical exhibits, such as this one.

Those of you with an interest in Old West and firearms history will recognize several familiar names in the following story. If you're like me, you'll learn something new about the relationship between historical firearm makers and today's companies.

An antique firearms exhibit at the Alamo makes for a gee-whiz encounter and a journey through changing technology of the Old West.

The exhibit, “Firearms of the Texas Frontier — Flintlock to Cartridge,” which runs through April 15, traces the evolution of rifles and handguns in the 40 years that followed Texas independence ... firearms were the most important commodity for Texans on the frontier.

Ector (cq) Aguilar, Alamo Living History Coordinator, fires a flintlock pistol in Alamo Plaza in October as part of the opening of the exhibit "Firearms of the Texas Frontier: Flintlock to Cartidge (1836-1876). (Robin Jerstad /For the Express-News)

About 50 guns from several collections are grouped by period, giving the visitor a feel for improvements borne by necessity before, during and after the Civil War. Displays also include gunpowder flasks, old photos and other related artifacts, as well as about 20 replicated versions of historic firearms that visitors, including children with parental consent, can hold and handle in an interactive area. (emphasis added)

Cue liberal exploding heads in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

Jerry Patterson (former Texas official in charge of the state-owned Alamo complex and author of the state’s concealed handgun license law) invited visitors when the exhibit opened in the fall to “see firsthand the weapons used to topple a tyrant and change the world.”

“Early Texans proved that a well-armed people are citizens, not subjects,” Patterson said in an October release.

Amen, brother!

The firearms exhibit starts with flintlock weapons similar to those used by Texians in the mid-1830s, often with more accuracy than the muskets of troops under Mexican Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. The rifles and pistols operated with a piece of flint striking a steel plate, producing a spark to ignite gunpowder and fire the weapon.

But wind, rain and moisture could make them fail. After one discharge, the operator would measure and pour powder, then ram it and a lead ball down the barrel for another shot.

“If you were fighting the Comanches, they would have the advantage. In the time it took to load your rifle, they could get off 12 to 15 arrows from 50 yards away,” (Alamo historian Bruce) Winders said.

Alamo Historian and Curator Dr. Bruce Winders holds a Colt Walker pistol from the "Firearms of the Texas Frontier, Flintlocks to Cartidge (1836-1876)” exhibit, which will be on display in the Alamo Shrine through April 15. (Robin Jerstad /For the Express-News)

Revolvers came to Texas in the late 1830s, ushering in a new age of weaponry, as American inventor and industrialist Samuel Colt’s assembly-line production made them available.

One of the firearms now on display in the Alamo Shrine as part of the "Firearms of the Texas Frontier: Flintlock to Cartridge (1836-1876). (Robin Jerstad /For the Express-News)

Another historic firearm currently on display. (Robin Jerstad /For the Express-News)

“Colt needed customers, and Texas needed weapons. You’re seeing technology, but also marketing,” through newspaper reports, handbills and endorsements by prominent local figures, who often were given demonstration models by Colt’s company, Winders said.

I didn't know that. Wish they'd still do it today. I wouldn't mind having a demo model of Colt's latest and greatest.

U.S. Army Capt. Samuel Walker, now buried at Odd Fellows Cemetery on the East Side, helped design the Colt Walker Revolver, introduced in 1847. It fired .44-caliber lead balls from a six-chamber cylinder, and was designed for soldiers on horseback.

“This was the 'Dirty Harry’ handgun of the period. It remained the most powerful handgun up until the 1930s,” Winders said.

The metal on the 4.5-pound Walker was not strong enough, and the gun at times exploded, prompting Colt to come back in 1848 with the Dragoon Revolver with a shorter cylinder and smaller powder charge.

The exhibit also captures the evolution of cartridge weapons, including the 1855 Volcanic Repeating Pistol by Oliver Winchester, Horace Smith and Daniel Wesson, whose Volcanic Repeating Arms Co. went out of business. Winchester received most of the company assets, and brought in gun designer Benjamin Tyler Henry.

More "I didn't know that" info, first about the exploding Walker revolvers, and then about the Volcanic Repeating Arms Co. trio of Winchester, Smith, and Wesson. I was, however, vaguely familiar with the role of Benjamin Henry. But I didn't realize the flaws of his Henry Repeating Rifle (below). I thought the evolution to the Model 1873 was just a natural result of technological advances, not a response to a problematic design.

The 1860 Henry Repeating Rifle had a more powerful cartridge, fired up to 17 shots and was used by Union soldiers in the Civil War. But it sometimes malfunctioned, with a magazine that tended to catch when firing. Its metal barrel sometimes got too hot to hold, and had a channel that collected dirt. So Winchester came up with his Model 1866, nicknamed the “Yellow Boy,” with a brass frame and wooden stock, followed by a Model 1873 with more powerful cartridges and a cover to keep dirt from entering.

The 1873 Colt SAA (Single Action Army) revolver was “the game-changer,” Winders said.

“This was the iconic gun that was seen as the one that won the West — whether it did or not,” he added.

For those who don’t easily connect guns to history, Winders references movie westerns. “Unforgiven” (1992) features a character, the “Schofield Kid,” who carries a Smith & Wesson Schofield Revolver, similar to one in the exhibit. A Sharps Sporting Rifle like the one in “Quigley Down Under” (1990) is displayed. The Mattie Ross character in “True Grit” carries a Walker in the 1969 version, and a Dragoon in the 2010 remake. “The Outlaw Josey Wales” (1976) carried two Walkers.

Another example of Art imitating Life.

Gordon Rasmussen, left, and Allen Haversang, both of New Jersey, look at weapons in the "Firearms of the Texas Frontier" exhibit at the Alamo. (Carolyn Van Houten /For the Express-News)

Ain't Texas history wonderful?

FOD 2015.02.09

Brian Williams and his serial lying is getting all the headlines lately, but there's a much more troubling development undermining our future.

The national debt has dropped out of the headlines recently, but that doesn’t mean that it has gone away. In fact, just a few weeks ago, the debt officially topped $18 trillion. For those keeping score, that equals roughly 101 percent of GDP. In other words, we now owe more than the value of all goods and services produced in this country over a year. And, according to the Congressional Budget Office, the debt will climb to almost $27.3 trillion within the next 10 years.

As bad as these numbers sound, they actually understate the problem. That is because they don’t include the unfunded liabilities of programs like Social Security and Medicare. While those liabilities don’t show up on the country’s official balance sheet, they nonetheless represent legal obligations of the US government. Including the expected shortfall from those programs brings are true debt to an unfathomable $90.6 trillion.

Granted, this problem isn't solely of obama's making. Past presidents and congresscritters of both parties have enthusiastically supported pork barrel legislation that increases the debt level while doing little to improve our country. But obama, with his 'free stuff for everyone' programs, has dumped gallons of fuel onto the already-roaring fire.

The worst of it all is, we won't be stuck with the tab. It'll be our children ... and their children ... and their children's children...

Americans everywhere are counting down to the end of the Obama presidency. The damage he has wreaked is beyond calculation. He has hobbled our economy, trashed the Constitution, eroded trust in government, politicized one federal agency after another, poisoned relations among the races, stifled opportunity for poorer Americans, weakened our armed forces, conducted a perverse foreign policy, made the U.S. a laughingstock abroad…the list goes on and on. And we have almost two years yet to go!

At one time the idea of being $20 trillion in debt would have been unthinkable. If one had thought of it, one would have assumed that such a fiscal catastrophe would rank first among the nation’s worries. In fact, the Obama administration has been such a fiasco that he has turned the United States into the Brokest Nation In History® almost as an afterthought. But such profligacy should not be forgotten. Michael Ramirez notes Obama’s parting gift to America’s youth, whose futures he has blighted in so many ways.

Sunday Funnies 2015.02.08

Next Saturday is Valentine's Day. Forewarned is forearmed...

My wife just called me.

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers."

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.

Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a long and happy marriage.

Q:  On Valentine's Day, why did the banana go out with the prune?

A:  Because it couldn't get a date.

What Are They Thinking?

Valentine's Day will soon be upon us. In addition to the usual in-box notices from flower and candy companies, I received this from Amazon.

Take a look in the bottom left corner.

Yep, that's right. Amazon is suggesting that I get my wife a new apron for Valentine's Day.

I don't think so.

However, the good folks at Pajamagram have a much better idea - Glow in the Dark Lingerie.

Gals, if you hurry you can still get a set in time for the big day. Let me know how it works...

Back In The Day

I graduated from high school in 1969. That makes me an expert on the way things were 'back in the day.'

I tend to overuse this phrase, but the following is certainly Sad but True...

Sigh...

Friday Follies Happy Hour 2015.02.06

In honor of our recent trip to Belize...


This is most definitely not us, but it damn well could have been.

Great trip!

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Remember the outrage regarding Benghazi and "Hillary lied - People died?"

Well, before that lie hillary lied about being shot at during the Bosnia war.

During an introduction to a foreign policy speech on Iraq on March 17, 2008, Sen. Hillary Clinton reminisced about her days as first lady and a trip to Tuzla, Bosnia, she made in March 1996.

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."

But that's not what happened, as demonstrated by CBS News video that shows Clinton arriving on the tarmac under no visible duress, and greeting a child who offers her a copy of a poem. The Washington Post Factchecker also turned a skeptical eye on Clinton's comments, reporting that a review of more than 100 news stories from the time documented no security threats to the First Lady.

Now comes the news that clinton sycophant and NBC News anchor Brian Williams can tell just as big a whopper as either one of the clintons.

It's an unmitigated disaster for Brian Williams and NBC News.

The revelation that the NBC anchor had lied on air about being in a helicopter that was forced down after it was hit by enemy fire during the Iraq War is devastating.

It's hard to see how Williams gets past this, and how he survives as the face of NBC News.

An anchor's No. 1 requirement is that he or she has credibility. If we don't believe what an anchor tells us, what's the point?

I don't know about you, but I haven't believed a word that a mainstream news anchor said since Walter Cronkite lied about the Tet offensive.

On Getting An "A" In Diversity

The University of Central Florida College of Business Administration is the home for something called TIDES - The Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport. TIDES claims to serve "as a comprehensive resource for issues related to gender and race in amateur, collegiate and professional sports."

So far, so good. Ethics are usually a good thing - witness the recent uproar over DeflateGate. And diversity isn't necessarily bad, unless it is forced diversity solely for the sake of diversity (i.e., quotas). But Lord God Almighty, this place has a very twisted view of diversity. For example, TIDES recently gave the National Basketball Association an A on its 2014 Racial and Gender Report Card. Here's some data on which that grade is based.

For the 22013-2014 season, 80.5 percent of the NBA's players were people of color... Both Asian players and players categorized as "other" races each remained at 0.2 percent of all players. The percentage of white players was 19.5 percent...

That doesn't seem very diverse to me. The league is dominated by one segment of the population: players of color. How did it earn an A? However, when you look at the grading criteria, it becomes clear.

Currently, 24 percent of the U.S. population is comprised of people of color, thus an A was achieved if 24 percent of the positions were held by people of color...

In other words, as long as the NBA reaches its quota of diversity, then all is well, even if one particular cohort overwhelms the rest of the ethnic categories. It doesn't matter that whites, Asians, or "others" are underrepresented in terms of their proportion of the general population, as long as the people of color are taken care of.

What an absolute load of crap.

The NBA, and sports in general, are for the most part a great example of a meritocracy. A person's race is largely irrelevant as long as they can perform. That's the way it should be, in sports as well as in other walks of life.

Too bad the people at TIDES, and the administration at the University of Central Florida, who are wasting taxpayer $$$ on this nonsense, don't get that.

A Place In The Sun

A friend of ours owns a private island.

He's an interesting guy. He grew up on a dairy farm outside of Pearland TX. He worked his butt off to get through college, then headed off to Hawaii and became a hotel general manager. Met a wonderful gal there (much too good for him), and eventually returned to the mainland and went to grad school at UT (that's the University of Texas, for you foreigners out there)..

Graduated with his MBA and went to work for a large international consulting firm. If you know anything about consulting firms, you know that, like large law firms, they chew up and spit out junior level employees. Long hours, lots of travel, lousy assignments and working conditions, the whole nine yards. But after three or four years those who survive and prosper can achieve great things. My friend was fast-tracked to a partnership. What the consulting firm didn't realize was that as they were using and abusing him, he was soaking up what made them successful like a sponge. After a decade or so he left them and started his own consulting firm, specializing in the nexus of technology, business processes, and innovation. However, his dream has always been to find Margaritaville.

He first became aware of the island while evaluating Caribbean real estate for an investor group. It had been neglected by the owner, damaged by storms, and generally was run down and ill kept. It needed a lot of work to become habitable again. The investors were looking for something that was ready for immediate use, so they passed on it. But my buddy saw a lot of potential there.

The price was right - that is to say, dirt cheap. He was able to raise some capital to buy the land. The rest was sweat equity: put together a local team (qualified people who would do the work in exchange for a promise of a share of the profits, assuming there were any); renovate the buildings; repair and upgrade the infrastructure; obtain furniture, linens, kitchen equipment, and other necessary items; acquire the recreation equipment (jetskis, kayaks, boats, etc.); build a management and marketing team; and all the other activities associated with starting up a small resort.

He has succeeded magnificently.

The finished product is a small luxury resort on a private island a short distance off the coast of Belize. Belize is an interesting place. Like the U.S., it's a melting pot of several cultures and languages. It's official language is English (a residue of its history as a British colony), which is almost universally spoken to one degree or another. Other commonly spoken languages include a local form of Creole, Spanish, and Mayan. The people we met were likewise diverse, descended from indigenous Mayans, transplanted slaves, German Mennonites, Spaniards, and a sprinkling of others. Regardless of their ethnic background, everyone we met was universally warm, friendly, and welcoming.

Belize is also a well-known tourist destination, which brings us back to the island. Under its new name - Royal Belize - it is marketed as an all-inclusive private luxury getaway.

The very essence of privacy and luxury. An entire 7.5 acre Caribbean island for your exclusive use. A completely personalized experience.

Complete with a full staff including a manager, concierge and cook, you will enjoy paradise with your closest friends and family, or just you and someone very special. Spend your days relaxing or stay busy with beach games, jet skis, sea kayaks, snorkeling, scuba, sailing and fishing. If you care to venture off of the island, your concierge can arrange a variety of activities including zip lining, waterfall hiking, helicopter tours, cave tubing and excursions to the Mayan ruins.

Because it is so small - there are only five bedrooms, located in three different villas - it is managed as an exclusive resort. That is, only one party is booked at a time, so you will know everyone there. The price seems high at first glance, but it includes everything - and I mean everything. There were no add-on fees, extra charges, additional taxes, or other surprises. We didn't pay a penny more than the agreed upon rate. And since we are friends of the owner, we got a generous friends-and-family discount.

Getting there was a piece of cake. One hour flight from San Antonio to Houston. Two hour flight to Belize City. Fifteen minute flight (in a 14-seat Cessna) to Dangriga. Twenty-five minute boat ride to the island. We were met at the dock by the island staff holding tall glasses of rum punch. Great way to start a vacation.

Once we were there, it was literally a tropical paradise. Meals that were the equivalent of five-star restaurants. An incredibly attentive and accommodating staff. Top-notch facilities. Many activities to choose from - too many to experience them all in a four day trip. If you're into scuba or snorkeling, it can't be beat. We also managed to squeeze in some down time - lounging around, working on our tans and catching up on our reading.

Don't get the wrong idea. We're not jet-setters. In fact, one of the reasons we were so impressed by the resort is because it's the type of place that we typically can't afford to visit. It was great to see how the other half lives.

So if you win the lottery - or even if you don't, but you have a hankering for a once in a lifetime trip - check out Royal Belize. The price may sound a little steep at first, but divide it by ten people (or whatever the size of your party is), and keep in mind that you won't have to pay another penny for anything else once you get there.

In my honest opinion it is one of the best experiences you'll ever enjoy. (And I didn't get paid to promote the place.)

Home Again

We left this yesterday...

... to return to this today.

I'm ready to go back.

More on the trip later, but right now I've got to unpack, do laundry, catch up on mail, deal with the latest crisis regarding my elderly father ... well, you get the picture.

Sigh ... I wanna go back...

Sunday Funnies 2015.02.01

A little humor from our little tropical island...

On a group of beautiful deserted tropical islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman,
2 German men and 1 German woman,
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman,
2 English men and 1 English woman,
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman,
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman,
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman,
2 American men and 1 American woman, and
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunningly beautiful deserted tropical islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant, and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for the store.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey.

But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Kate Upton.

They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.

"What's the matter?" Kate says: "Is there anything I can do?"

"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"

"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.

"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"

"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."

"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm sleeping with!"

A king on a tropical island was given a new throne on the anniversary of his coronation. He replaced his old one with it, and store the old throne in the attic of his grass hut.

Every year after that, on the same date, he was given a new throne. Each time he received one he would store the old throne in the hut's attic.

One day the attic collapsed and crushed th eking to death.

Moral: People who live in grass huts shouldn't stow thrones.