Sunday, October 19, 2014

Sunday Funnies 2014.10.19

A hunting we will go...

A hunter is taken to the ER with multiple fractures and his clothes torn to shreds. He tells the doctor that he stepped on a nest of snakes, and he describes them to the doctor.

The doctor says that those snakes are harmless. They are not poisonous.

The hunter replies, "They don't have to be poisonous if they can make me jump off a twenty-foot cliff!"

A guy was telling his friend about his recent hunting trip to Wyoming.

"We were out in the woods all morning and our guide decided that we should take a break along the river bank. I wasn't feeling tired so I went for a stroll while the others were resting.

As I was walking, a grizzly bear burst out of the brush in front of me. I turned and started running like hell through the woods with the bear after me. The bear almost caught up with me but slipped and fell down.

I kept running and the bear almost caught up with me again twice, but slipped and fell each time. I finally reached the river bank. The guide saw the bear chasing me and shot it dead."

"Wow!" replied his friend, "That's incredible. If I were you, I would have messed all over myself."

The first guy answered, "What do you think the bear was slipping on?"

Two Aggies were driving to the woods to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT.

They turned around and went home.

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a French journalist and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one that killed my brother?' "

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French.' "


XS3mdrvr said...

I came by for a laugh or two, and once again, you delivered ;)

Hope you enjoy a safe and rewarding trip. I'll be over the big hills to the west
in SLC, wishing I was there too. Fortunately, I have learned, like the Apostle Paul
of old, to be content, regardless of the state that I'm in, so I'm all right.

CenTexTim said...

XS3 - glad you enjoyed your visit. Thanks for the good wishes. I like your and Paul's outlook on life.

Old NFO said...

Yep, I'll second XS3... :-)

CenTexTim said...

And I'll second my comments to him to you as well. ☺