Sunday, February 5, 2012

Blow It Out Your Ass

This post came from Peter. I'm not sure how he came across it, but I don't think I want to know.

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A college student claims he was injured when a fraternity member in a "drunken stupor" decided "that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus," and did so, "but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back," and fall off the fraternity's deck.

Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.

Helmburg claims - in a statement it would be difficult to deny - that "firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an 'ultra-hazardous' activity" ...

Helmburg says the fiasco came at about 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, at an Alpha Tau house party he attended with his girlfriend.

The complaint states: "Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck...

"Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.

"There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident..."

It is unclear from the complaint whether Hughes was injured, or how badly, when the bottle rocket exploded in his rectum.
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Hopefully it's just a coincidence that this story appeared at the same time the date for this year's Blownstar was announced...

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