He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool I could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please."
On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly he could have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam was the one given this ability.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his urination while in a vertical position. And lo, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.
"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms."
Adam looked at the Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, the Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called the brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent coversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is a called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your own lifeform and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed "these are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "the bad news is that when I created you I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."
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