Welcome Home

I got home Sunday afternoon after a long weekend at Blownstar. My wife welcomed me home with a great big hug, told me she had missed me, and gave me 'the look' that promised a much warmer welcome later that night.

And then...

We usually let the dogs out to take care of business right before we go to bed. So she let the dogs out and headed for our bedroom. I said good night to the kids, reminded them to let the dogs back in, and headed there myself.

A couple of minutes later I heard "Daaaad!" I went back out to the living room to discover that the dogs had been skunked, the kids had let them in before they noticed the smell, and now the dogs were rolling around on the carpet while the kids were trying to corral them and get them back outside. So much for romance.

The next couple of hours were occupied with canine baths and carpet cleaning. Fortunately, I found a drugstore that was still open. The clerk didn't bat an eye when I dropped a couple of bottles of hydrogen peroxide and several boxes of feminine hygiene product on the counter. I guess she's seen it all on the late night shift.

To make a long story short, we got the dogs bathed and the carpet shampooed, but by then the mood was long gone.

Then this morning I had to take my Dad to a doctor's appointment. Dad has reached that age where his hearing isn't what it used to be, but he won't admit it. He thinks everyone else is mumbling. As a result, he speaks louder than he needs to. That wouldn't be a problem, except for a few other factors.

He comes from a family of coal miners. He also spend 26+ years in the military as an enlisted man and NCO. So he has a definite lack of sensitivity and political correctness. Plus he feels compelled to comment on everyone and everything he sees. Combine that with his aforementioned tendency to broadcast what he says and it made for a very interesting waiting period at the doctor's office.

"Why are all the nurses just sitting on their butts instead of taking care of us?"
"Who dressed that woman - a blind man?"
"His problem is that he's fat."

Thankfully the other patients were as hard of hearing as he is.

Dad had a stroke several months ago. He's pretty much recovered from it, except for some lingering difficulty speaking. We joke about how much he now sounds like Porky Pig. His speech is hesitant and he has a slight stutter. He also has difficulty getting certain words from his brain to his mouth, so he pulls the old Porky Pig trick and after a few tries substitutes another word. For example, the assisted living facility where he stays has a shuttle bus that takes them places and later brings them back. The old driver, a man, recently quit and a woman was hired to replace him. Dad was telling me about this change: "And then they hired a wommm ... a wommm ... a female." He laughs about it more than we do.

Bottom line - after a relaxing and enjoyable weekend it's back to the real world.

Sigh...