Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sunday Funnies 2011.06.12

In honor of the institution of marriage...









Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?"



A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.

But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.

She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"

The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak,

"Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"



ADVICE FOR THE GROOM

Remember this line. It will come in handy some day. "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"

She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

ADVICE FOR THE BRIDE

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

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