Last summer Bill and Hillary Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. One day they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary’s high school love.
They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.
As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, “Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today.”
She smirked and replied, “No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States.”
It is near the end of the school year and the teacher has already turned in her grades. There is really not much to do. All the kids are restless because they are ready for the summer break. The teacher says, "The first person to correctly answer each question I ask may leave early."
Little Johnny thinks to himself, "Good. I wanna get outta here. I'm smart. I'll answer first."
The teacher asks, "Who said 'Four score and seven years ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Susie said "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's right, Susie. You may leave."
Johnny was mad that Susie answered first.
The teacher asked, "Who said 'I have a dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Mary said "Martin Luther King." The teacher said, "That's right, Mary. You may leave."
Johnny was even madder that Mary answered first.
The teacher asked "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth Nancy said "John Kennedy." The teacher said, "That's right, Nancy. You may leave."
Johnny was BOILING MAD that Nancy answered first.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher said "WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny said, "Bill Clinton. May I go now?"
A plain-looking coed home from school on summer vacation calmly confessed to her mother that she lost her virginity while at school.
"How did it happen?" gasped the parent.
"Well, it wasn't easy," the girl admitted, "but three of my sorority sisters helped hold him down."
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