You Can Find Anything On The Internet

Case in point: a website that sells diapers for ducks and geese so you can keep them as indoor pets.

Diapering your duck, goose or chicken is the first step to enjoying the rewarding experience of living with one of these amazing creatures.  It not only keeps your house clean, it gives your little feathered kid the freedom to go where you go and do what you do!

I've had my fair share of 'unusual' pets (that includes a couple of ex-wives) but this is a new one. I guess it takes all kinds...

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A duck walks into a pharmacy, and asks for Chapstick.

The cashier says, "Cash or check?"

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

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A woman brought a very limp duck to the veterinarian's office. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the lab and led it out of the exam room. He returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. She screamed, "$150.00!" "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150.00."

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What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?

Stick his bill up his ass.