Sunday, April 12, 2015

Sunday Funnies 2015.04.12

In what has to be the worst-kept secret of our times, Hillary Clinton is expected to announce today that she is running for the presidency.

God help us all...

Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A. Chelsea Clinton

Q: Did you here about Kentucky Fried Chicken's Hillary Combo meal?
A: Two small breasts, two large thighs and two left wings.

Q: What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull?
A: The pit bull doesn't carry a briefcase.

The hottest new political bumper sticker says "RUN HILLARY RUN."
Democrats put them on the rear bumper... Republicans on the front bumper.

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and George Bush are all killed in a terrible plane crash. They find themselves in Heaven, standing before God.

"Who are you?" asks the Lord?

"I'm George Bush," says George.

"Ah, George, my son. Come and sit here, on my right side," says God.

"And who are you?" God asks.

"I'm Bill Clinton," says Bill.

"Ah, Bill, my son. Come and sit here, on my left side," says God.

"And who are you?" God asks for the third time.

"I'm Hillary Clinton, and I think you're in my chair."

In addition to brain-dead liberals, there's one other group of people that's really excited about the prospect of Hillary running for office - late night comedians.
"The RNC released its first presidential debate schedule, which includes at least nine debates in different states across the country. As opposed to the Democratic debates, which will just be Hillary staring at her opponents until they burst into flames." –Jimmy Fallon

"Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote." –Seth Meyers

"In an interview she said that she and her husband were dead broke when they left the White House. Hillary said things were so bad, the two of them needed to share a bedroom." –Conan O'Brien

"Bill Clinton was being interviewed recently, and he said that despite all the speculation, Hillary hasn't said anything to him about running for president in 2016. Though in fairness, she hasn't said anything to him since 1998." –Jimmy Fallon


Well Seasoned Fool said...

I knew it was comming but it still makes me gag.

CenTexTim said...