Wednesday, April 15, 2015

IRS Letter

I have to pay my taxes today. Here's the letter I'm sending them.

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

Enclosed you will find my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the 'Presidential Election Fund,' as noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5' Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5' Phillips Head Screws).

One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.


A Satisfied Taxpayer


Anonymous said...

Do to the fact I had errands to run the confiscation of my funds were mailed yesterday.

CenTexTim said...

All those people on welfare say "thank you."

Anonymous said...

Those four toilet seats and six hammers plus the one screw are a hell of a lot more than Al the Tax Cheat Sharpton is sending them. The IRS will probably give the lone screw to Mullah Obama so that he can use it to keep screwing the American people.


CenTexTim said...

Scottie - at the rate he's going, he'll need more than one screw

Randy said...

ow my head

Steve D said...

Wait a second? He overpaid $22. shouldn't the IRS be sending him the screw?

CenTexTim said...

Randy - I'm with you.

Steve - the IRS has already given him - and us - plenty of screws...

Anonymous said...

Tim, Your reply to Steve wasn't quite finished. You should have said, The IRS has already given him - and us - plenty of screws, right up our collective asses. And what is even worse - they fully expect us to enjoy it.