Sunday Funnies 2014.08.03

Vacationing in Wyoming, which has brutal winters and is very rural...

Jeff Foxworthy on Wyoming:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wyoming.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wyoming.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wyoming.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wyoming.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WYOMINGITE WHEN:

You measure distance in hours.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.

You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

Down South to you means Colorado.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

But seriously, folks, Wyoming is a great place with great people and great traditions. We would be much better off if the rest of this country was more like Wyoming.