Sunday, March 3, 2013

Sunday Funnies 2013.03.03

My birthday was last week. 'Nuff said...


It’s a terrible thing to grow old alone. My wife hasn’t had a birthday for four years.

You know you're old when one of your friends is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.

You know you're old when many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.

Over the course of my life I've turned the pursuit of happiness into an endurance test.


My wife didn't know what to get me for my birthday, so one of her friends suggested she give me a certificate that says I can have one night of wild sex, any way I want it. My wife thought that was a great idea so she had a nice-looking certificate printed up and sealed in an envelope.

She gave it to me after dinner on my birthday. I read it, jumped up, yelled "This is the best birthday present ever!" and gave her a great big hug and kiss.

Then I grabbed my cars keys, ran for the door, and hollared "Don't wait up. I'll see you in the morning!"

She was not amused...





8 comments:

Old NFO said...

I LIKE the last one... :-)

Toejam said...

Yea NFO, it's nice alright.

But just make sure when your birthday rolls around your wife isn't sitting across from you when you blow out the candles. ;)

Toejam said...

OH, I forgot: Happy Birthday CTT.

CenTexTim said...

NFO - me too!

Toejam - thanks.

Harper said...

Happy Belated, Tim. You aren't one of those eternally young leap babies, are you?

CenTexTim said...

Thanks, Harper. No, I'm not a leap year baby (I was born in a leap year, but missed the magic day by two - 27th vs. 29th).

I have, however, been told that I'm eternally young ... or was that childish...?

Bag Blog said...

Happy belated birthday. Mine is this weekend.

CenTexTim said...

29th birthday, no doubt... :-)

Thanks and Congrats. Hope you enjoy yours as much as I enjoyed mine.