One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them had got into the eggnog and were in no condition to fly. Two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the sacks of toys tore and scattered toys all over the ground. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. They went deep into the woods searching for a just the right one.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said,
"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
WHY A CHRISTMAS TREE IS BETTER THAN A MAN
A Christmas tree is always erect.
A Christmas tree has cute balls.
You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year.
WHY A CHRISTMSA TREE IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
When we got the tree home our dogs were very interested in it. Much sniffing ensued...
In this part of the country we have our fair share of rednecks. Here's our neighbor's approach to putting up the tree.
Merry Christmas, y'all...
2 comments:
LOL, those ALL work... :-)
Ho ho ho...
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