Two Texas Aggies were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter walked up and watched them for a minute, then spoke up.
"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After he left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one Aggie said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
The other replied, "Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck."
My kids don't share my passion for deer hunting. They're also fussy eaters and sentimental about animals. So last season I decided to serve them venison for dinner, but not tell them what it was.
My daughter sniffed it suspiciously, nibbled at it, eyed me skeptically, and asked "What is this?"
My son took at bite and pronounced it delicious, which prompted his sister to take a large bite.
After a few more bites they started badgering me, asking what they were eating.
"Here's a hint," I said. "It's what your mother often calls me."
My daughter screamed "Don't eat it. It's an asshole!"
A classic...
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