Sunday, November 29, 2015

Sunday Funnies 2015.11.29

Tis the season ... to eat Thanksgiving leftovers...

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Arthur who?

Arthur any leftovers?

Knock Knock!

Who’s there?


Tamara who?

Tamara we’ll have turkey leftovers!

I've run out of Thanksgiving leftovers.

I had to quit cold turkey.

“Oh no! not leftovers again!” complained my daughter when we served turkey and dressing left over from Thanksgiving.

“Young lady,” I replied firmly, “do you know how many people would love to have a delicious supper like this?! You should be ashamed of yourself! Now before we start eating I want to hear you say grace thanking the Lord for this delicious meal!”

“Thank you Lord for this delicious supper”, muttered my daughter, “….again!”

It seems that God was just about done creating the universe. The Lord had a couple of leftovers in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden.

He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to urinate while standing up. "It can be very handy," God explained to Adam and Eve. "Would either of you like that ability?"

Adam popped a cork. He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! It seems the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please, Lord, let me have that ability. I would be forever grateful."

Eve just smiled and shook her head at Adam's display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, then she really wouldn't mind if he were the one given the ability to urinate while standing up.

And so, the Lord gave Adam the ability to urinate while standing up. Then, He looked back into his bag of leftover gifts. "Now, what have we here? Oh, yes, multiple orgasms..."

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