Sunday, November 8, 2015

Sunday Funnies 2015.11.08

This Wednesday, Nov. 11, will be Veterans Day - a day we set aside to honor those who have served in our military. While it is a solemn occasion, most veterans will also admit their service wasn't without a little humor.

The military speaks its own language. Take, for example, the annual Army-Navy football game. At the beginning of the game, the coin toss in made.

The Navy captain shouts, "HEADS!"

The Army captain shouts, "LATRINES."

An Air Force instructor in chemical warfare asked airmen in his class, "Does anyone knows the formula for water?"

"Sure. That's easy," said one recruit. "It's H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."

"What?!?" exclaimed the instructor.

"H to O," explained the recruit.

"Son," the instructor said, "You are officer material!"

The U.S. Navy answers the question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Naval Education and Training Command (NAVEDTRA): The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing procedures. Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of visibility and a safety observer.

Bureau of Naval Personnel (BUPERS): Due to the needs of the Navy, chicken was involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This will be 3-year unaccompanied tour and we promise to give the chicken a good-deal assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one road-crossing during its career, and this will not affect its opportunities for future promotion.

Naval Air Warfare Center (NAWC): This event will need confirmation; we need to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather conditions to confirm whether it can actually happen within the parameters specified for chickens and the remote possibility that they might cross thruways designated by some as “roads.”

Commander-in-Chief, U.S. Naval Forces, Europe (CINCUSNAVEUR): The purpose is not important. What is important is that the chicken remained under the OPCON of COMSIXTHFLEET and did not CHOP to the theater on the other side of the road. Without Chopping, the chicken was able to achieve a seamless road-crossing with near perfect, real-time in-transit visibility.

Naval Intelligence: What chicken?

A Marine stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look at you... let me hold you ! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica."


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Thanks for the laughs.

Old NFO said...

Or Thule... It's windier there... :-)

CenTexTim said...

WSF - my pleasure.

NFO - my father was stationed at Goose Bay, Labrador for a year. After he got back in the States it took him another year to thaw out.