Sunday, November 22, 2015

Sunday Funnies 2015.11.22

Thanksgiving is coming...

A young woman (blonde, of course) is preparing her first thanksgiving dinner. As she gets everything ready for Thanksgiving day, she very sternly reminds herself to let the turkey finish thawing in the sink overnight. She puts it in and places the dish rack over the top of the bird. Her husband walks into the kitchen and sees this.

"Why are you doing that?" he asks.

"My mom always did that to help the turkey thaw," she told him.

The next day Mom calls to see how everything is going.

"Fine, Ma. I have everything ready to go in the oven. I even remembered to put the rack over the turkey last night."

This seemed to confuse her mother a bit. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Oh, I remember you always put the dish rack over the turkey when it was thawing in the sink," she said.

There was a pause on the end of the line. "Yes, but honey, we had cats!"

This year I decided to have a throw-back Thanksgiving and shoot my own turkey for the holiday.

You should have seen people scatter in the meat department.

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. In particular, he was trying to satisfy his family. They were fond of the drumsticks, but there were never enough for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was discussing the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?

A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

But seriously, folks, as we get into the holiday season let's pause for a moment and think about the true meaning of Thanksgiving...


John in Philly said...

A researcher tried to get more drumsticks from a turkey by intermingling octopus DNA and turkey DNA. He ended up with an eight legged turkey that really sticks to your ribs.

CenTexTim said...

Groan... :-)

Well Seasoned Fool said...

OK I laughed.

Old NFO said...

Good ones... :-)