Friday, September 16, 2011

There Is No Way On God's Green Earth I'll Use Any Of This Stuff

As you can tell from the time stamp on this post, it is late at night. Several Shiners have made their influence felt.

Normally I would have left this dump about 8 hours ago and headed for home, but the friggin' administrators that like to think they run this place have scheduled a mandatory meeting for mañana. They don't have anything better to do with their time, so we have to get together from 2:00 - 4:00 Friday afternoon: topic = nonsense, participants = babbling fools.

What makes it even worse is that this weekend is Dies y Seis, or the Mexican Independence Day from Spain (not to be confused with Cinco de Mayo, or the Mexican Independence Day from France). That means the traffic going from here to my real home will be much heavier than normal, resulting in a more stressful commute than usual..

Fortunately, I just ran across some tips on the Internet that will reduce my stress by making me look, feel, and smell  my manly best.
Dry shampoo, cleansing gel, lift express ("My wife loaned me this stuff, and it really tightened up and hydrated my face. Now I save it for special occasions."), body balm, Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue ("I've been wearing Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue since it came out, but I wear the one they make for women." - well of course you do, sweetie...), Eye Defense Cream, and last but not least, Texturizing Paste.
How did I survive 40+ years after puberty, including three in the Army, without Texturizing Paste, whatever the Hell that is?

So anyway, I'll wander into that waste-of-time meeting tomorrow, sit there and twiddle my thumbs for a couple of hours, and then head north, where my beloved wife is anxiously awaiting me.

Brace yourself, Darlin'...

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